5 Common Anger Management Mistakes

Managing emotions is one of the difficulties most frequently faced by today's society. In addition to anxiety or sadness, anger is one of the instinctive and universal emotions that generates the most interference in personal well-being.

let's see how dismantle a series of beliefs about anger management it can allow the individual a more effective coping with situations that may lead to reactions of this nature.

• Related article: "How to control anger: 7 practical tips"

harmful consequences of anger

The expression of anger in an uncontrolled way can cause us significant damage in different areas of our personal lives.

1. Deterioration of interpersonal relationships

It seems that we show more instinctive reactions of anger with the people in our closest environment (family, friends and co-workers), that is, that the most significant personal relationships tend to be the most damaged.

2. escalation of the conflict

Usually, when trying to dialogue with another person when the level of anger is intense, the exchanges are not constructive since

at that moment it is the emotional part of the brain that is dominating the individual's response (to the detriment of the more rational brain).

• You may be interested in: "The model of the 3 brains: reptilian, limbic and neocortex"

3. Facilitation of a violent functioning of the person

The responses manifested from anger are frequently associated with the expression of violent behaviors and aggressions (verbal or physical) towards the other. Thus, when anger dominates the psychological state of the subject the instinctive desire to hit, shout, threaten is greater, break objects, etc.

4. Predisposition and greater proportion in the appearance of diseases

From research in the area of ​​health psychology, the personality called Type A (hostile, irritable functioning and high levels of stress) is associated with a high propensity to suffer cardiovascular accidents.

• Related article: "Your health depends on your personality type (science proves it)"

5. personal emotional instability

A pronounced difficulty in managing anger can lead to dysfunctional psychological states such as depression, anxiety disorders or feelings of insecurity, guilt, low self-esteem, low tolerance for frustration etc

Myths about anger management

Here are some misconceptions about anger management:

1. Anger decreases if it is manifested openly

It is true that anger must be channeled in some way because otherwise its unlimited accumulation and maintained over time can lead the person to the appearance of the consequences set forth in section former.

However, this channeling must not be through your active expression, since it has already been observed that a functioning based on this emotion leads to an internalized attitude of respond in this way to any situation, regardless of whether it is irrelevant or very important for the individual.

2. Running away or avoiding the problematic situation lowers the level of anger

Being a strategy usually known as "dead time", the person is sometimes recommended not to expose themselves to situations that can trigger this type of reaction.

It is true that, as previously stated, the attempt to maintain an assertive conversation to facilitate conflict resolution when you are very upset is not usually effective or utility. Therefore, at first, the person may postpone coping of the situation for a limited time, as long as once the reflection process has been completed (which allows a more rational, empathic and understanding analysis) resolve the pending question again in a calm and assertive way.

3. Anger allows you to achieve the desired goal

This idea is, in addition to being false, very dangerous since it transmits the message to the people around them (even more so in the case of minors) that this is the methodology that must be followed as a way to obtain what one proposes: the imposition, the generation of fear of the other, the non-dialogue, and ultimately the contempt for the party discrepant.

All these values ​​do not report at all an own emotional well-being. On the other hand, it is false because usually, taking into account the different styles of functioning communicational and behavioral (aggressive, passive and assertive style), the person who uses anger (profile aggressive) you may encounter an opposition response to your behavior (If you are facing another aggressive person - dysfunctional opposition - or assertive - functional opposition-).

4. Analysis of past personal history combat anger

The fact of studying the individual psychological development of the person can be useful for understand the factors that have led to the current functioning and attitudinal style of the individual in question.

Even so, from the point of view of one of the psychological currents with the most empirical support, the cognitive-behavioral current, they are the elements of the present (personal, environmental and their interaction) which mainly determine the behavior of the being human.

The so-called "functional analysis" of the individual and the responses that he emits in certain situations It will be much more useful to know what aspects are precipitating, maintaining or aggravating angry behavior. The latter are those that can be influenced to achieve a real change in behavior.

5. External events are the only causes of individual anger

In view of what was stated in the previous point, the external elements that appear in the situations in which the person manifests anger reactions in the same way that internal factors or personal. REBT, or Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy by Albert Ellis, defends the deep analysis and questioning of a series of nuclear beliefs that the person has regarding himself, the environment and the world in general (irrational beliefs) that are preventing the application of a more logical, rational and realistic interpretation of the situations in which the individual is faced exposed.

Therefore, a fundamental element in the level of emotional affectation that produces everything that happens to the person on a daily basis is given by the cognitive interpretation of the situation, and not by the person's own situation.

In short, it is understood that in the face of unpleasant events, the person can work and modify their own perspective before said events, the result of which will have an impact on the appearance of a more emotional state. adaptive.

Learning to manage emotions

As it has been observed, it seems that proper anger management is essential to prevent a series of consequences that can compromise both our physical and psychological health.

From the argument about the erroneousness of the five premises exposed about the management of anger maintained over time, it can be reached to a more extensive knowledge about what can be the alternative forms of more adaptive management of this type of emotion so disabling.