The 5 things we regret the most before we die

Have you ever wondered what will be the most common regret in people who are about to die?

Bronnie Ware, a hospice nurse, observed through her work that conversations that she had with her terminal patients, that their regrets had certain similarities. Let's see what these ideas that appeared when looking back on one's life consisted of.

• Related article: "The role of Psychology in irreversible processes: 5 attitudes towards death"

Wisdom to get the most out of life

People who were very close to the end of their lives often regretted the same things. Given this discovery, Bronnie decided to write down the confessions that her patients made to her.. In fact, one of the factors that inspired her to carry out this task was the explicit request of certain patients.

In general, these patients wanted their stories to be told, for their regrets not to go unnoticed, and for them to be used to help others. For them, talking to their nurse was the last chance they had to leave their legacy to the world: the wisdom that life had reserved for the end.

Later, Bronnie would publish this valuable information on her blog, which in turn would become so popular that it would become the book. The Five Commandments To Have A Fulfilling Life. However, its original title is much more powerful: Top Five Regrets of The Dying, or The 5 Big Regrets of Dying People. The author develops, along with her own experiences, each of the 5 most relevant regrets in the book.

The most frequent regrets just before dying

Below you can see what are the things that people regret just before they die.

1. I wish I had the courage to live the life that I wanted and not the one that others expected of me.

The expectations that others place on usSometimes they can become suffocating. It is normal to want to please the rest of the family members and society in general, but our efforts and decisions cannot be influenced solely by this.

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard

Work is also essential in order to survive, but that does not mean that we should turn it into a speculative activity. Many people are prisoners of the need to shield their future by procuring a very important economic cushion, while they fall into a lifestyle based on consumerism, full of habits that make constant work necessary.

3. I would have wanted to express my feelings

Life in the West leads us to hide our feelings, usually because of a mix between exaltation of rationality and the need not to carry out strident behaviors that affect our professional lives.

• You may be interested in: "Are we rational or emotional beings?"

4. I would have liked to keep in touch with my friends

There are many things that can lead us to underestimate friendship. But, especially, the lack of time due to work is something that greatly influences this aspect.

5. I wish he would have given me permission to be happier

Sabotaging oneself is frequent, if only because, in order not to leave the comfort zone, we prefer to postpone over and over again what would make us happy.

Even regret is valuable

Although the regrets described by Bronnie sound simple, in reality, they run very deep. Reason and logic let us know that life is finite.However, many times we act as if it were not so, as if we had all the time in the world. That is to say, when we enjoy youth and well-being, we unconsciously believe that things will always continue like this.

That can result in us putting off our dreams Or that we underestimate the true value that simple things bring us and prioritize others that, at the end of our lives, will not be so important.

Examples abound. Not expressing our emotions, maintaining a relationship for fear of being alone, neglecting friendships and relationships significant for being in a demanding or unsatisfactory job, not practicing that hobby that has always seemed interesting... And a long etcetera, may cause us painful regret in the future.

But knowing the 5 regrets of the dying brings with it an optimistic message of hope. Bronnie Ware gave his patients a voice and tells us strong and honest stories to lead us to reflection.

Learn from the mistakes made

The most common regrets may be our teacher and not our destiny. It is up to each person to live in an intentional way, in which each decision we make corresponds to something that brings us closer to our goals or, simply, that causes us joy.

Yes, it is true that life will end one day and it is also true that we will inevitably make some mistakes. But today, that we are here, we can honor our dreams, fight for our true goals and enjoy the relationships we have created with other people.

If you identify with any of the 5 points, remember that life is shaped by the decisions we make and read the 5 biggest regrets of dying people can help us assess our decisions and make any changes we deem necessary. It is totally valid to change the course taken. Let's not reach the end of our life to realize that we lacked living it.

We can all be part of another group of people, of those people who, on their deathbed, are at peace with their decisions, actions and memories.