The sentimental shock: definition, causes, symptoms and phases

It is said that Queen Victoria of England spent months sobbing continuously and mourning the death of her husband, Prince Albert.. Such was the grief of the queen that her palace ended up becoming her prison and she dressed in mourning for the rest of her days.

Although in Victorian times they were not aware of it, the queen suffered what is now called sentimental shock. A state of hopelessness and anguish that the person suffers after a love break, or after the loss of a loved one. This state consists of different phases, with a beginning and an end, and that They serve the person to recover from said sentimental breakup.

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What is sentimental shock?

The sentimental shock occurs after a love break, and is defined because the person experiences a state of dullness or psychological paralysis which may be accompanied by a feeling of psychological disorientation and emptiness.

It is necessary to clarify that sentimental shock is not considered a disorder by itself, but a natural phenomenon, with a predictable course of symptoms, and with well-defined phases and stages for which there is a beginning and an end.

Although each person lives the emotional shock in a different way, It is common for the first crisis or the first break to be experienced in a much more traumatic way, since the person still does not have the necessary tools or mechanisms to deal with said situation.

Likewise, another trend that is repeated in most people is that the degree of strength of the sentimental shock is directly proportional to the intensity of the commitment that the relationship had. The longer you have been with a person and the deeper your commitment, the longer it will take to get over the breakup.

Can emotional trauma be overcome?

Typically, most people get over the effects of an emotional shock within the first year after the breakup. However, it is natural to find people for whom said recovery takes a little longer, depending on the good personal functioning.

Emotional shock is a normal and even healthy process, which does not become pathological unless the person tries to suppress it. or compensate it through behaviors of denial or excess. such as drug use or alcohol abuse.

For a successful overcoming of the rupture it is necessary to face the pain and move forward with it, to experience the experience of emotional shock, going through its different phases and understanding each of its quirks.

Failure to recognize and express emotional distress can seriously harm a person's psychological health. It has been shown that the effects of a poorly resolved emotional shock, in addition to harming emotional health, have multiple consequences for the body.

A feeling of constant grief, depression or despondency and disappointment can become weaken a person's immune system, making them more susceptible to contracting a disease physical.

Therefore, although unpleasant and painful, sentimental shock is a sign of health and the only way to overcome a love breakup.

Symptoms

Although, as mentioned above, emotional shock cannot be considered a disorder or a psychiatric illness, does present a common symptomatology in the majority of people who suffer from it. Symptoms that may be found include:

• Nausea
• loss of appetite
• crying fits
• Deep feeling of sadness or depression
• Insomnia or trouble falling asleep
• memory leaks
• Lack of energy
• need to withdraw
• Feeling of lack of control over life
• Promiscuity
• Vacuum sensation
• intensification of feelings
• Feeling of anguish at the idea of ​​being alone

As the person begins to understand the dynamics of the emotional shock experience, he progressively acquires the skills that will help him control his feelings and fears.

In addition, the fact of knowing the different stages of the process and that they have both a beginning and an end, has a calming effect on the person.

The six stages of sentimental shock

As discussed above, symptoms of emotional shock develop in a pre-established pattern of six stages: shock, grief, blame, resignation, reconstruction, and resolution.

The rate at which a person slides from one stage to another is called the affective turnaround time, and it varies greatly from person to person. Some people experience the different stages very quickly while others do it very slowly.

Likewise, the intensity of the symptoms will decrease as the person goes through the different stages. More grief is usually experienced in the shock, grief, and blame stages.

Finally, and before going on to explain the different stages, It is necessary to point out that, despite the existence of common guidelines, the experimentation of sentimental shock does not have to be linear.. The person can go forward and backward in the different stages according to the coping mechanisms that they have.

1. shock

In the first stage, called shock, the person experiences an impending sense of psychological paralysis, accompanied by disorientation and disbelief.

In very extreme cases, the person may feel unable to perform basic actions such as eating or sleeping, and may even forget what happened during this phase.

The shock stage serves as an insulator from the shock that causes a loss or rupture, and its duration is usually between a day and a month, but it rarely extends longer.

2. Grief

During this grief stage, the person not only grieves for the loss of a person, but also grieves for all the time they shared and all the experiences lived.

This grief can turn into feelings of anger and irritation. The person may feel in a bad mood or furious, due to frustration and the perception that no one else is capable of understanding what he feels.

It is common that when the person is in this stage he feels the need to communicate with the other, to maintain some kind of contact, however unreal it may be. Attempts that, as a rule, do more harm than good.

3. adjudication of fault

When the feeling of sorrow is reduced, the person feels the need to know what has happened to the relationship. Therefore, there is an urgency to analyze everything that has happened throughout the relationship, looking for blame both in oneself and in others.

In addition, it is usual to analyze the different situations that the couple has experienced to find out what they would have done to avoid it, or quite the opposite to analyze it to blame the other.

4. Resignation

Also known as the goodbye stage, this is the moment in which the person is able to accept that the other is no longer in his life. It is the time to accept that the relationship is over, separate completely from the other person and regain energy.

It is the stage in which people tend to spend more time, since on the one hand they feel relieved to be able to overcome the breakup, however feelings of grief are also experienced for having to leave the relationship for complete.

5. Reconstruction

At this moment the person notices that he spends more happy moments than sad ones., he manages to regain concentration and feels that his life belongs to him again.

Also, he feels ready to go out and meet other people and begins to focus more on his own needs than on thoughts about the past.

To successfully complete this stage they will need to rebuild their strength, develop their self-esteem and self-confidence.

6. Resolution

With the resolution begins the beginning of a new life cycle. The person has managed to resolve the conflict since the start of the shock and her life is back on track in a new direction. At this moment the person has the necessary confidence to create their own well-being.