How to develop mental strength in 7 steps

It is clear that the best life is the one that we learn to live intensely, but that does not mean that we must let ourselves be constantly carried away by the torrent of emotions that our experiences.

Many times, it is important to take charge of the situation and focus on acting in a constructive way, no matter what. This capacity is what we know as emotional strength..

In fact, one of the most important aspects of Emotional Intelligence it is knowing how to distance yourself from the facts that does not allow you to examine them in a more reasonable way and identify the best options. Emotional strength consists of getting used to commitments to certain standards of well-being, living avoiding unnecessary dramas. How can we benefit from this psychological attribute?

• Related article: "What is emotional intelligence? Discovering the importance of emotions"

Exercises to train emotional strength

Below I propose a series of exercises to develop emotional strength through changes in our habits.

1. Spend time thinking about your priorities

For know how to distance yourself from the facts when they gain a strong emotional charge, it is important to be clear, first, for what purpose this is done.

For example, when faced with arguments, do we want to satisfy our pride or maintain healthy relationships? Faced with stress due to lack of time, do we want to organize ourselves better or explore other work possibilities that we are passionate about? Reflecting on what our priorities are is essential, and can be done at any time, for example, writing them down in a hierarchical list.

2. Surround yourself with people you connect with

This step is not directly involved in developing emotional strength, but it is supportive. When we dedicate a good part of our time to cultivating toxic relationships, we lose that necessary energy to face crises, and consequently we let ourselves be carried away by circumstances. Having an environment that welcomes us makes us better manage our psychological resources and use them in situations that are truly worthwhile.

3. Take stock of personal strengths

It seems obvious, but it is not. Many people are unaware of their strengths and assume that they are "born losers." But if you have knowledge of what we do well in, we face problems with greater confidence because we know how to identify the support points that we can use in our favor.

4. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a good tool to reduce stress levels that we often accumulate throughout the day. Therefore, it is something like a measure of psychological hygiene.

• Related article: "5 Mindfulness exercises to improve your emotional well-being"

5. commit

Many times a good part of our projects go down the drain of the "I'll do it tomorrow". If we do not allow this and face those activities that really excite us, we will gain an invaluable sense of purpose that it will be good for us to have a direction to point through all our experiences. And, when you are clear about what matters, it is more difficult to give in to vulnerabilities and manipulation by others.

In short, commit to something gives us more reasons not to give up what interests us, in the same way that, for example, it is easier to continue going to the gym when you already have the routine than to go for the first time after a quarter break.

• You may be interested in: "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): principles and characteristics"

6. Train yourself in de-dramatization

Examine those own characteristics that you see as imperfections and ask yourself: so what? Knowing how to distance yourself from things is also that, understanding that what is not as we would like and cannot be changed should not have the power to stop us. That would be a totally unjustified limitation, a barrier that we put on ourselves and that makes our existence bitter without us considering why we are keeping it there.

7. Do the exercise: reason coldly

Give up any pretense of reaching a conclusion you already had prepared. Distance yourself from something in which you feel some involvement and assess what really happens. If you reach the same conclusion as always, with all the topics with which you do it, ask yourself what you are doing wrong and repeat the process. Little by little, increase the level of difficulty, and use this strategy with aspects of your life that touch you very closely.

Developing emotional strength is knowing how to accept the effect that emotions have on us and channel them in a constructive way. In the case of anger, for example, it can be used as energy to build a world in which situations like the ones that bothered us don't happen so much. It's about looking beyond yourself. both in the analysis of the facts and in the application of the conclusions. Thus, this mental capacity associated with Emotional Intelligence can serve, at the same time, to make it increasingly contagious and easy to obtain from one's social environment.