What do you need to know to make better decisions?
Needless to say how difficult it is to make some decisions in life. The complexity of each decision to be resolved has to do in general with the implications of the results, that is, In other words, what could be the consequences that will come with it when we say "yes" or "no" to something that is asked of us? presents.
The more options we have about a conflict that requires our active participation, paradoxically, the more difficult it will be to deal with it. It is for this reason that accumulating information in this regard in exchange for mitigating the distress and uncertainty to which we are subjected, will only add complications, therefore, when it comes to gathering information, it is convenient to be selective with it.
The word decide carries within it I will decide, which could be understood as "from", and I will fall, like "cut". To put it easily, although there is little that is simple about it, deciding is neither more nor less than choosing between different options, it is giving a cut to a situation that is presented to us. Again,
To decide is to find a way out of an inconvenience that lies ahead and that imposes a choice, a choice or finding a specific course of action among different available alternatives.- Related article: "What are cheat thoughts and how to prevent them?"
Uncertainty and decision making: how are they related?
Uncertainty, that is, the reason for our anguish, that which does not let us sleep at night until we resolve it, is the almost visceral feeling we face in decision-making, which is nothing more than the inherent condition of being alive.
We take refuge in our own information or that of others about what has happened instead of accepting or rejecting any option that is presented to us. Clearly, we are not sure what the result will be and that is precisely why we talk about decisions.
We believe that uncertainty is solved by accumulating information in relation to the issue that we must solve, but in reality, so much knowledge and information only disturbs us. The excess of information and opinions increases the uncertainty, stress and anxiety associated with decision making..
It is difficult to evaluate the options without fear of being wrong, but as in all things and without being optimistic, we can find a positive aspect, which is to become highly creative to find the resolution of the problem.
- You may be interested in: "Fear of uncertainty: 8 keys to overcome it"
What does our ability to make decisions depend on?
We must understand that decision-making is influenced by the personal, social, cultural and political context in which we are immersed. A decision today may not be the right one when time has passed. That is what we mean when we talk about how they are influenced by the context that we find ourselves in at the time of each arbitration, but this is a circumstance that we cannot ponder at that moment because it is outside of us to know how values and culture will vary, years from now late.
The unpredictability of the future and the lack of experience in the subject make us look for solutions that are sometimes easy and even magical. We invoke all knowledge and we do not stop hearing all the voices that appear consciously or unconsciously for something to make us run from such an uncomfortable place.. When we decide we are taking a risk.
Medical decisions, labor decisions, the choice of a career, the purchase of a property or large investments, among others, are situations in which we find ourselves throughout our lives. On another scale are those tinged with loving feelings such as choosing or continuing with a partner or having children, for example, that is, we are subjected to having to make decisions from the most committed to the most simple.
And it is necessary to get to know each other and recognize our way of acting and thinking in the face of this conflict that is facing us. presents because this will help us correct small distortions and that will teach us about ourselves themselves. That is to say, each obstacle that appears to us acquires an asset value if we know how to take advantage of it.
- Related article: "What is the locus of control?"
How to improve our ability to decide?
In "The Transformation of the Modern Mind," Jonathan Haid and Greg Lukianoff address the historical development and philosophy of the human mind and how our understanding of cognition in decision making has evolved. decisions. The authors explain that Decision making is understood as a complex cognitive process that involves the evaluation and comparison of multiple options., the consideration of long-term consequences and the application of logical and rational principles to arrive at an informed choice.
We must not leave emotional factors and our cognitive state aside when making decisions, understanding that uncertainty and time pressure are added to these factors. We must bear in mind that there are strictly no good or bad decisions, since we will always know that after we have made them.
Faced with these vicissitudes, our human nature imposes a healthy cognitive state on us and that refers to being emotionally balanced to carry out the task, that is, keeping calm and mental clarity is one of the requirements. If for some reason or because of the type of decision to make we are not in that state, seeking help to clarify our ideas would be part of the solution. since starting from humility in the face of the difficulty of the conflict, it prepares us in a more sensible way in front of our capacities, feelings and resources.
Another interesting point is that the decision to be made must be consistent with the values that correspond to that moment, that is, that they are aligned with our way of thinking and feeling. This will mean that when the decision made is evaluated later in time, we will be able to think that based on the moment lived and with the tools we had, we did the best we could. This does not imply repentance, but the recognition of growth on ourselves and of course learning.
Being faithful to us is a positive quality and will be a condition for the evaluation of the problem. Another thing to keep in mind is putting aside inflexibility and allowing ourselves to listen to options from knowledgeable people. That will give us a better chance of success in the resolution. Believing that there is only one way to solve things will only make us believe that if we become more flexible we are losing, and this is not necessarily the case. Rather, it is about the best solution for that moment, evaluating risks and greater damage than remaining firm and closed against possible mistakes.
Psychological theories suggest that fear of death may be related to loss of control and uncertainty about what will happen after death. If we understand a decision as a limit, we are not far from being exposed to those feelings..
From this perspective, the procrastination it can be seen as a form of avoidance of death anxiety. Making important decisions can cause anxiety and stress, especially if it involves a significant change in a person's life. In some cases, people can postpone making a decision to avoid facing this anxiety of the limit and therefore of the irreversible, as if it were a small death.
By putting off making decisions, a person can feel they have more time and thus avoid thinking about the fact that life is limited; so although it may be difficult, let's make decisions with confidence, knowing that we are learning and growing in the process.
Finally, it is important to remember that making decisions can also be an opportunity to grow and develop as individuals.. Through living this process we can learn to trust our intuition and develop confidence in our abilities. Therefore, one recommendation is that we teach our children from an early age to decide between different alternatives (obviously, those corresponding to their age).
It is necessary to take into account that, in the case of children, the options that we will suggest must be few (two or three, no more), since at the time of their development it is not convenient to distress them with various alternatives. In this way, learning together with the people who love us becomes not only valuable in itself, but also generates confidence in the process of facing the decision and its consequences, which most of the time are not irreversible.