How to approach Intrafamily Violence: a therapeutic vision

An essential component of first importance when working with domestic violence is that the different professionals involved with the family carry out an exhaustive assessment of the risk for the people involved and implement an action plan that includes the requirements for each family member to be at except. This risk assessment is useless if it is not effectively documented and communicated.

Likewise, in these cases it is extremely important not only the therapeutic relationship established between each member of the family with the therapist, but also that of the family as a system and the therapist. If one of these two is missing, either the perpetrator does not take responsibility for her actions or the therapeutic work is negatively affected and the intervention will not be effective.

The systemic perspective does not consist only of technique, but is largely a function of the sense of ourselves ourselves as therapists, the stance we take as therapists, and the attitude we display toward the people we interact with. we work.

• Related article: "Types of Violence"

How to work on domestic violence as a therapist?

To promote a healthy and functional therapeutic relationship, in addition to the obvious confidentiality within the framework of what is possible, the therapist has to move away from premature certainty and "not understanding the situation very quickly". This is what Mason called the Safe Uncertainty position. We all agree and know that violence is unacceptable in any of its forms, but each specific case is a different reality, the reality of that particular family.

Curiosity to understand what is happening and to whom it is happening leads us to ask questions that would not otherwise be they would happen to us because we already take them for granted, which causes people to open up instead of being there. defensive.

This openness creates a climate of therapeutic safety that allows people to be honest with us, and even if they choose not to inform us, the therapeutic climate is different. In order for this therapeutic security to be created, it is essential that the therapy is not inundated with the legal or judicial problems of the case..

Thus, interdisciplinary collaboration is extremely important as it allows other professionals -social or justice workers- to They are in charge of ensuring that the judicial norms (if any) are complied with, while we can "do therapy" in the most practical sense of the word. word.

If therapy is part of a court order, it is best to discuss this dilemma with the family and create a space in which they can express their feelings about this, otherwise what remains 'unsaid' will be affecting the therapy and gaining even more power than the therapy itself same.

A therapeutic space to express yourself

Normally, we treat those who are violent against other people with some disrespect, while we hope that they learn to respect others. "Informative curiosity and informed neutrality" allows us to be more open to information in a non-judgmental way and to listen to each family member.

At the same time, it favors therapeutic commitment, especially on the part of the perpetrator, as they feel that they are also being listened to with respect. From this position of active listening space is left for the perpetrator's awareness and acceptance (explicitly with the family present) of responsibility for her conduct, by time that helps the victim(s) and witness(es) to free themselves from the possible 'guilt', opening the way for the intra-family agreement of new meanings, thus reinforcing behaviors alternatives.

No family is solely violent or dysfunctional, so look for the family's 'strong points' and 'exceptions to the violent pattern' and reinforce them., as for example with expressions like “How did you manage not to explode if you were so angry on Friday?”. These exceptions contain key solutions and you have to 'do therapy' with them.

• You may be interested in: "What is psychotherapy? Main characteristics of this process"

Is domestic violence always treatable?

Working with domestic violence in any of its forms is systemic and never easy. There may be cases of domestic violence that are not treatable, and even those that are can be a very difficult experience for the therapist., who has to learn to calm his own anxiety and anger and get rid of their own stereotypes and prejudices.

As therapists, we need to be aware of what we can do and not try to 'rescue' or 'fix' the families we work with. For all this, it is of the utmost importance that the therapist have the possibility of periodically accessing supervision and consultation sessions with another/s professional/s is external to the case where they can enrich their practice and deal with possible personal feelings/thoughts that arise during the process.

The difficulty is complicated because it requires a time and rhythm that depends on each family and its specific problem. Besides, individual treatment for each family member should be parallel and tailored to the specific type of intrafamily violence. Above all, it requires the "want to do" on the part of the family, which is often not prepared for therapy.

As we have seen, there are many contexts to take into account when working with intrafamily violence. For Systemic and Family Therapists in practice it means maintaining an open systemic perspective and working at all possible levels of family dynamics.

Thus, it also implies being fully integrated into a coordinated local community response to intrafamily violence, being modest about the therapeutic results achieved to favor multidisciplinary work, promote practical knowledge based on evidence at the time of interventions and integrate what is valuable from the different interventions to more effectively tackle violence that occurs within the families.

Definitely, In the fight to work ever better against the suffering that violence brings to children, adolescents, men and women around the world, there is still much to write.