Reverse psychology: is it really useful?

In our day to day it is common to talk about reverse psychology. We understand that it is about getting a person to do something by telling them to do the opposite. However, we know that not all expressions in everyday language mean something in psychological terms.

Is there reverse psychology? Is it a myth or a form of real influence? How useful is it? Next we examine what is the psychological interpretation of this phenomenon and we put their persuasive power to the test.

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What is reverse psychology?

reverse psychology is a strategic form of social influence. It is an indirect influence technique that consists of pretending to have a position opposite to the one we really have in order to provoke a reaction in the other that favors us. Let's illustrate it as follows:

Imagine that you go out to dinner with your partner and you have to decide where. There are two options: restaurant A (a Japanese) and restaurant B (a Mexican). Today you have an appetite for Japanese and you want to convince your partner to go to it. If you know that your partner is a person who generally tends to accept your proposals, the most appropriate strategy will be a direct approach. It will be enough to communicate your preferences and give some argument about it. Since he is a person who usually agrees, you will most likely go to Japanese.

However, if you anticipate that your partner is someone who tends to be combative, discuss the decisions you make and it is difficult to reach agreements with that person, if you communicate your preferences directly you can get the shot out of the butt. Instead, it may be a better option to say that you prefer to go to restaurant B and give some arguments weak about it, so that your partner throws them at you and you agree to go to restaurant A, your real preference.

We can highlight two main uses of reverse psychology. The first has to do with persuasion, and is as described in the previous example. The objective of this technique is nothing more than to guide the other towards the decision that we secretly want the most. The second use has to do with the validation search.

Typically, when we want another person to give us approval of something we have done because we feel insecure, we attack ourselves out loud with verbalizations of the type “this dish has been terrible for me”. This generates in the other a need to disconfirm this information and appeases our insecurity.

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Reverse psychology mechanisms

reverse psychology is a persuasive technique that works through psychological reactance. The reactance It is defined as a reaction that aims to restore freedom or control over a situation when an attack on it is perceived. In this phenomenon, four steps occur: the person perceives that he has freedom, he perceives an attack against him, reactance occurs, and later the sensation of control and freedom is restored.

Returning to the case of the restaurant, when our partner perceives that we are trying to persuade her and sees her free will threatened, she reacts by opposing us to regain control. In this way, when we anticipate psychological reactance to occur, we can plan the direction in which we want the other person to make the decision. This is why we say that reverse psychology is a technique of indirect persuasion.

Practical applications

The situations in which reverse psychology can be used to advantage are numerous. Since it is a form of influence, it is only usable in a social context. For example, it is common to find dynamics that involve reverse psychology in family environments. Families with adolescent children often use this form of influence to introduce into their children intentions that they had not previously contemplated.

Reverse psychology even has therapeutic purposes. We have a variation of this principle in a technique called “paradoxical intention”.

In this therapeutic technique, the psychologist prescribes or indicates to the patient the symptom he is suffering from. For example, in insomnia it is common to carry out this paradoxical intention by indicating to the client that they should not sleep. This serves several therapeutic purposes., such as breaking the blockade produced by beliefs such as "I will not be able to sleep", in addition to generating drowsiness through sleep deprivation that will help To fall asleep later. Interestingly, most patients are unable to endure a full night without sleep as directed.

Negative effects of this persuasion technique

Like any form of persuasion, reverse psychology is not an infallible technique. For it to work, there must be a series of preconditions that favor its occurrence. We must know in advance that the person tends to be reactive.

People who are more belligerent, need control, are used to being dominant, or are generally more emotional are more likely to perceive these attacks on their freedom. The object or question on which we want to generate reactance must be relevant to the individual. It makes no sense to try to generate opposition to a decision to which the other neither comes nor goes.

There are risks with using reverse psychology, such as it not working as it should. It is possible that the person, even if he is belligerent and it is an issue that he cares about, agrees with us right off the bat. Even successful use of reverse psychology has negative effects. The advantages that are obtained through the influence on the other are not satisfactory because we know that we have obtained them artificially, and this negatively affects one's self-concept.

Many of the situations in which we use this technique occur when we want to receive approval from another. In people with worse moods, this search for validation can lead to doubting the source of validation itself, because she knows that this person is not giving her opinion honestly, but through the provoked reactance that she herself generates.

Finally, although it is an influence technique that can work and be useful, it is better to use it only on rare occasions. Victories taste artificial and can generate dependency towards external validation, in addition to worsening one's self-esteem by feeling that we are not authentic. It is obvious that the optimal way to build a relationship is not through manipulation, but through honesty with the other.