How to become a better person, in 5 basic keys

In many articles of Psychology and Mind We have stressed the importance of making life an exciting place to travel based on objectives and goals that make us stay awake and active.

It's not that we're fans of the positive psychology, but we are very clear that one of the keys to happiness is, precisely, having the ability to continue improving day after day.

Improving as a person: it is possible… and necessary

Let's not fool ourselves: to live is to try to improve oneself day after day. In fact, it is often said that the happiness It is nothing more than the prelude to it, that is, we are happy when we are close to achieving certain objectives and goals that we have set for ourselves. Happiness is not, in itself, a goal that we should set ourselves, because -happiness- is rather a state of mind that accompanies when we feel motivated doing things we like, spending time with people who make us feel good, and a long etc.

The problem is that many people have burdens and responsibilities that anchor us to a gray daily life that does not motivate us enough to want to improve as people. In addition, we live highly influenced by everything that has been instilled in us, and on many occasions we act unconsciously to the detriment of other people, and we delude ourselves into believing that, for some reason, we are acting correctly.

Forced to be happy?

In a very interesting article, the Valencian psychologist Alvaro Saval He was talking about a kind of social imperative that has taken shape in the last decade: the obligation to be (or appear to be) happy people. Of course, society draws a notion of happiness very closely related to material success. This material success (having a good job, a good car, expensive trips...) can do us a disservice to the It's time to try to have a life that allows us to improve as human beings and address our most important interests. genuine.

Happiness should not be an obligation but a natural consequence of living in harmony with what we want to do and be, discover our true passions and dedicate ourselves body and soul to them. To be better people, and therefore more connected with our environment, it is necessary to practice and train.

5 keys to improve as a person (and be happier)

I propose Five keys to developing the necessary skills to improve as a personLittle by little and without pause. Do you dare to try it?

1. be grateful and generous

There are a number of values ​​that have an instant effect on the people around us. Perhaps the two most important are generosity and gratitude. When we are generous, kind and grateful to someone we pass on the street or to a close family member, we create a good harmony that not only affects how others value us, but also how we perceive ourselves. It makes us feel good to be nice to other people because, after all, we are empathetic beings.

In addition, gratitude marks the way for us to overcome certain traumas, anxiety and stress, it helps us to remove negative thoughts from our mind and strengthen our selfconcept.

A good way to develop gratitude and kindness is to do altruistic acts, that is, to do good without expecting to receive anything in return. This may be shocking in a cultural system based on commercial and interested transactions, but there are many investigations in psychology that indicate that being supportive is linked to well-being, health and a greater hope of life. It is not about becoming Maria Teresa of Calcutta overnight, but if we start giving importance to altruistic acts, it is very likely that we feel more fulfilled and have a balance major emotional.

To channel this advice we can choose to do some volunteering... or, simply, to be friendly and detached in our day to day, with the people with whom we live or cross paths street.

2. Who have a friend, have a treasure

Who has a friend, does not know what he has. In a society where we pay less and less attention to each other, having one or more trusted people with whom being able to share unique moments is a great value for our happiness and to be better people. Of course, I am not referring to the "friends" that we can have on social networks like Facebook or the like, but to real friends, the kind that can be counted on the fingers of one hand and fingers left over.

True friends arise in the most unimaginable situations and contexts. We need to be aware of the importance of caring for friendships to generate that dynamism that brings us the plans in common with a colleague, or those endless talks where we talk about any stuff.

One of the main causes of depression is loneliness. Living away from human treatment plunges us into a gray and monotonous reality, and therefore keeps us from happiness and motivation. If you think you don't need anyone to be happy, you're probably trying to deceive yourself, because that's not what science (and common sense) tells us. Maintaining friendships also requires effort and altruism on many occasions, but it is worth it.

3. live life with optimism

Yes, a topic. But it doesn't stop being true. People who are not optimistic are not better or worse than anyone else, but they unconsciously forge a boring, static reality that is not given to joy. Because? There is nothing that encourages demotivation more than not having a positive vision about the possibilities that, as a person, we have in life.

be pessimistic It's not just a form of self-boycott, but a freeway to mediocrity.. That is why we must say no to pessimism and charge our batteries with a good dose of optimism, even if at first we are not 100% convinced. If positive psychology has a certain recognition, it is precisely for having studied in depth the magnificent effects of being an optimistic and enthusiastic person.

Optimism must be a philosophy of life to be able to move forward and infect those around us with good vibrations. We must be able to dedicate our energies to everything over which we have control, and if we see that something gets out of hand, we can always turn to people who help us and give us a hand. If we are faced with a complicated or even fatal event, such as the death of a family member, it is normal for us to collapse. but you always have to think that better times will come where that bad moment will only be a memory of a contingency of the life.

4. Relativizes the importance of material goods

In another text published on this website, we echoed a study that indicates that money does not buy happiness. It may seem obvious, but there are people who continue to believe that if they accumulate more money and wealth, such as cars or houses, they will be happier. Well, everything indicates that they are wrong. Science has shown that, beyond a threshold in which we live comfortably, earning more money is no longer related to the degree of happiness.

Entrusting our well-being and happiness to material things is a way of achieving the opposite effect, permanent unhappiness, since we will keep wanting to accumulate more and more and we will never be satisfied with what we have. And this is because, after all, the good moments in life are not the ones you share with a convertible car or a latest model smartphone, but with other people who make you feel special.

When we ask ourselves the question of what really motivates us in this life, almost all of us tend to respond by giving very little importance to material aspects. We are not motivated by being rich or having the best watch or technological gadget. We are motivated to feel good about ourselves, to travel, to surround ourselves with sincere people who make us feel unique..

So why do we insist on pursuing the material? Human ambition has this flaw, which prioritizes tangible rewards over the intangible things of everyday life. But we must constantly remind ourselves what we want to achieve in life and what we really value. Only then will we be taking a step forward and being better people than we used to be.

5. Spend time doing the things you like to do

We have already been giving brushstrokes throughout the post about the importance of dedicating time and effort to those activities and people that really make us feel good. It's pretty hard to be happy if we don't spend time on the things that motivate us, right?

Obviously, not all of us are lucky enough to work on something we are passionate about or enjoy the enough free hours to compensate for this need, which undoubtedly makes us better people. For this, it is important to organize well and build bridges towards the self-efficacy. In other words, we must set ourselves small goals with which to improve little by little, and thus remain motivated and hooked on that hobby that we love so much.

Of course, it is sometimes difficult to become very good at what one practices. For example, I am fond of chess and I play a few games every day, but I know that it would be very unrealistic to think that in 5 or 10 years I will be as good as Garry Kasparov. The small goals that we set ourselves (for example, in my case, it could be to play a minimum of two games a day) They should help us to move forward and remain active, motivated by the process and not by the result.. In the end, playing chess, like any other hobby, is a joy in itself and it doesn't stop being so because I lose a few games against better players than me. We must put the enjoyment of learning above final issues.

In the workplace, most people are somewhat dissatisfied with the tasks they perform or the treatment they receive from their superiors. This is natural and it is not wrong for us to complain from time to time, but there are things we can do to make the routine much more enjoyable. Starting, for example, by providing a friendly and jovial treatment with co-workers, to create a climate of closeness and cooperation.

In summary, to be happy and be better people we must walk towards habits that motivate us and keep us active. If we are happy with what we do, others notice it.