The 5 types of tantrums in childhood

In a generic way, tantrums are especially common in the first year of life; between the ages of two and three, they become more occasional, until they almost completely disappear, between the ages of four and five (although we can find exceptional cases).

In this article we will focus on explaining the five most frequent types of tantrums in childhood, based on their cause and their pattern of action. In addition, we will explain in detail why they occur and how they constitute a necessary behavior for the formation of one's own identity and for emotional self-regulation.

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Childhood tantrums: what are they?

Before delving into the different types of tantrums in childhood, we will explain what they consist of. Childhood tantrums encompass a series of manifestations, as well as performances, both emotional and physical, performed by a child in order to express a series of negative emotions (such as frustration or Rage).

That is to say, they are emotional explosions that are experienced very intensely, which makes them express themselves with great momentum (in short periods of time).

These explosive manifestations can include different behaviors, such as: crying, shouting, tantrums, agitation, oppositional behavior (for example, not wanting to get up off the ground), diving into the ground etc

A phase of normal development

Childhood tantrums are part of a phase of evolutionary development; that is to say, it is a natural process in the child, which will help him to acquire the following skills or competencies: tolerance to frustration, ability to delay gratification, and ability to self-manage and self control.

On the other hand, it is important to note that tantrums develop in the context of a process of formation of their own identity, and that help the child to seek autonomy from it and to self-assert.

What types of tantrums in childhood are there? Based on what do we classify them? What is the difference between them? We tell you about it in the next section.

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The main types of tantrums in boys and girls

As we said, there are different types of tantrums in childhood. The classification that we propose here is the one that organizes them according to their causes. We tell you in detail what each of them consists of, and how we can act to manage them:

1. Tantrum for attention

These are tantrums to get the attention of the caregivers; When the child throws a tantrum of this type, what she wants is to get the attention, usually from the parents, as well as dominate them.

How can we act?

What do we do with these kinds of tantrums? First of all, it will be important to analyze their origin. On the other hand, the ideal is that we attend to the minor only when he/she is calm (not in the middle of a tantrum).

Once we detect that what he really wants is to get our attention, we must proceed to not serve you, while we make you see that this behavior is not appropriate to obtain our attention.

2. tantrum to get something

In the second of the types of tantrums in childhood, the purpose is another; in this case, get or obtain something. That is, satisfy a need or fulfill a desire.

How can we act?

In this case, the ideal will be that we apply extinction; that is, stop paying attention to the behavior (which implies stopping reinforcing it), watching in at all times, yes, that the child does not hurt himself (for example if we are on the street and he away).

At the moment in which the child calms down, we will prepare to explain alternative behaviors to obtain what she wants (for example, asking for things well, without crying or yelling). Remember, always depending on the age of the child, adapting our language and our explanations. On the other hand, we will also point out the inappropriateness of her behavior.

3. tantrum to avoid something

In this type of tantrum, the objective is to avoid something (for example, going to a certain place, eating a certain type of food, etc.). Thus, the child in question does not want to follow the orders or indications of her parents (or teachers, caregivers, etc.), and therefore manifests the tantrum.

How can we act?

In these types of tantrums in childhood we must, as in the previous ones, make the child understand that this is not the way to act if they want to achieve something; In this specific case, we can choose to use conciliatory phrases, such as: "I know you want to spend more time in the park, but now it's time to go." It is important to validate their emotion, but not their manner of expression.

4. tiredness tantrum

In the following of the types of tantrums in childhood, its cause is tiredness or fatigue (added to the inability to sleep). They occur above all in younger children, when they still do not have a sufficiently developed language to express how they feel.

How can we act?

In this case we will act by showing our understanding and helping them to fall asleep (depending on age, time of day, etc.).

5. frustration tantrum

Finally, the next type of tantrum appears from a feeling of frustration at a situation or event. For example, it can appear when the child wants to get something and does not get it, when they scold him for bad behavior, etc.

How can we act?

When a tantrum appears in the child for not getting what she wants, we must value the effort that he/she has made (in the event that it has existed), while we help them understand that we cannot always get everything we want, and that is not why we should put ourselves So.

Causes of tantrums

As we have seen, the causes of tantrums are multiple, which allows us to classify the different types of tantrums in childhood.

Generally, and depending on the age of the child, tantrums arise in situations of frustration (which is why it will be it is essential to work on frustration tolerance in them), or in situations where they do not understand what is happening.

If we add to this the evolutionary immaturity typical of this vital stage, as well as the presence of a language still under construction, it is logical that this type of behavior appears.

In this way, and by way of synthesis, we can say that tantrums arise:

• In moments of frustration
• As a consequence of not getting what you want
• As a response to an attempt to demonstrate one's own independence
• As a manipulation strategy, in order to satisfy one's desires

General action guidelines

As we have also seen, depending on the cause of the tantrum, the action will be one or the other, although they must all go in the same direction; make the child understand that these behaviors are not adequate to get what they want or to express her discomfort, and that there are more appropriate behaviors for it.

It is important to always act with empathy and understanding, since let's not forget that tantrums are part of psycho-affective development. We think that, in the long run, the management of these behaviors will help the child to self-regulate and manage their emotions in an adaptive and healthy way.

Bibliographic references:

• Horse, v. and Simon, M.A. (2002). Manual of Child and Adolescent Psychology. General disorders. Pyramid. Madrid.
• Castillero, O. (s.f.). Childhood tantrums: why they appear and how to manage them. Psychology and Mind.
• Comeche, M.I. and Vallejo, M.A. (2016). Manual of behavior therapy in childhood. Dykinson. Madrid.
• Pernasa, P.S. and De Luna, C.B. (2005). Childhood tantrums: what they are and how to advise parents. Pediatric Primary Care, 7: 67-74.