Understanding the personal crisis: 'Who am I?'

Personal crises happen when we experience a change in our life and find it difficult to adapt. A moment in which reality collides strongly with the expectations that we had deposited in ourselves and in what we expected our life to be.

We feel that we do not have the necessary tools that allow us to fit into a new reality. That emptiness and insecurity that you feel leads us to ask ourselves questions like:

• "Will I be able to?"
• "This is what I want?"
• "What makes me happy?"
• "What I need?"
• "Who or what am I?"

The characteristics of the personal crisis

On most occasions, when it comes to a personal crisis, the answers we give ourselves are vague and this creates insecurity. A feeling of loss, bewilderment, that makes us feel misplaced and disoriented.

A stage opens in which everything generates doubt, uncertainty and we do not feel safe when facing the surprises that life brings us. Personal crises arise as a result of many situations (accidental events, health problems, social or family relationships, economic or love problems).

To help you understand what can cause you to enter a personal crisis, I will explain two of the main fears that occur frequently and that push us to do so:

Fear of abandonment/rejection

If in your life you have experienced abandonment or rejection (by your parents, friends or important role models for you), it is likely that you develop this type of fear. To avoid confronting him, we end up becoming chameleons, that is, we show what we know will receive the approval of others about ourselves.

This leads us, over time, to lose our hallmark: “Am I who I want to be, or how others expect me to be?”. This is one of the first questions we ask ourselves, the answer to which, on many occasions, leads us into this type of crisis.

• Related article: "What is fear? Characteristics of this emotion"

Fear to fail

"The triumph of the true man arises from the ashes of error." This quote from Pablo Neruda invites us to reflect on the concept we have of failure. For many people failure is accompanied by "I am not capable"; "I'm not good for this", "I'll never get it" and a long etcetera that only causes a distortion of reality.

It is necessary to work on this concept and understand that to be wrong is to learn, and learning is evolving. A personal crisis can be born as a consequence of not moving forward in your life for fear of making a mistake and reaffirming that you are not prepared to lead a change.

However, we must understand a personal crisis as part of our evolution. It allows us to adapt to the different stages of our lives, helps us stop time and rethink our priorities and needs. It also allows us to make an analysis of where we want to lead our life and what are the objectives that we want to achieve along with the limits that will allow us to be in control of our happiness and welfare.

• You may be interested in: "How to overcome the fear of failure: 7 practical tips"

To do?

When you feel that you may be going through a personal crisis, it will help you to consider the following aspects:

1. prioritize yourself

Take time for yourself, you need to find yourself, connect with you to be able to project to the world who and how you are. Find a moment each day where you can relax and focus on yourself.

2. share how you feel

Sometimes we find some relief by sharing our concerns with people who know us very well. maybe they They can help us take a tour of our life trajectory and remind us of what characterizes and defines us.

• Related article: "The importance of expressing emotions, in 7 keys"

3. read something about it

There are many self-help books that can invite you to ask yourself the right questions and walk you through this process, where you can feel identified, and learn what are the main tools that can help you redirect your life.

4. work your self esteem

Make a list of all the successes you have achieved throughout your life, from the small achievements that may seem insignificant to you, to those for which you have fought with great effort. Then, in each of them, list the qualities that you have that have allowed you to achieve it (discipline, perseverance, intelligence, dexterity, charisma, etc.). In this way, you will get to know a little more about yourself.

5. Find a psychology professional

We are specialists in mental health, and psychologists can help you find the answers that best suit you, accompanying you on this journey of self-knowledge.