How to talk to your ex after a time apart: 5 tips

Yeah the process of love breakup is already complicated in itself and carries with it a strong emotional charge, meeting an ex-partner again is no less.

This is reflected when it comes to relating to those who in the past were our lovers, or even husbands and wives. Sometimes these ties are very damaged and it is very difficult to have a normal relationship with the other person, but in others what What happens is that we make the problem bigger than it really is, and that harms communication and fuels drama unnecessary.

Do not give up the possibility of having at least one more conversation with that significant person when you have some time after the breakup is important, because it helps us to recover from the psychological pain generated by the heartbreak Let's see, then, how to talk to your ex after a while, regardless of whether you have a partner or not.

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How to talk to your ex partner without losing control of communication

Something very significant about how lack of love can affect us is the fact that many People prefer to completely cut off contact with their partners once the relationship ends. ends and, when by chance there is a fortuitous meeting on the street, a great discomfort invades them.

However, we really don't have to fear the possibility of talking to an ex-partner; we must not assume that these encounters must be traumatic. It is even possible that, after some time has passed since the breakup, in some cases a friendship appears. In the following lines, then, we will see several tips on how to talk to your ex without entering into dynamics that favor conflict or avoidable emotional wounds.

1. Find your main goal

Faced with a situation in which it is easy for so many emotions to surface, it is possible that we find ourselves lost, not knowing exactly what to do. Therefore, we must try to find the specific objective that we pursue when talking with our ex-partner.

First, we must distinguish between chance encounters and relatively planned conversations.

In the first case we may have to decide on the fly, based on what we feel, what we want. In many cases, only a slight curiosity will guide us if there is no genuine interest in the stage of life you are going through. that person, and in this situation it's perfectly fine to subtly point out that we're not looking for a very long and deep.

In case the conversation has been planned, we will have more time to think what we want. A hint: if our objective has to do with venting, it is advisable not to talk to the other person, because this can rekindle the discomfort of the time of the breakup. No matter what, the conversation shouldn't be confrontational, but it doesn't have to be very close and friendly either.

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2. Act on what you have shared

For better or for worse, an ex-partner knows a lot about us, and we also know a lot about them. That's why, it is out of place to express yourself with too rigid a formality, or with an attitude of absolute ignorance before what the other person explains to us.

3. Avoid assigning blame

Not obsessing over assigning blame is a sign that the breakup has been overcome. This does not mean, of course, not to think that it is possible to detect a person responsible in certain problems from the past, but the need to remind the other person of the existence of these failures It's not strong enough to turn the conversation around..

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4. Consider why the relationship ended

Do not forget those revealing experiences that were once related to the outcome of the breakup. It is one thing not to reproach, and another is to show that we did not learn anything during that love relationship.

5. Do not suggest plans without previous signals

If you want to normalize the relationship from non-existent to friendly, don't start by proposing plans; Wait to see if the other person comes off as friendly and open, rather than distant and suspicious.

If the first case occurs and this attitude has been maintained for several minutes in which more or less personal issues have been discussed, you can try to come up with a plan, but only if it's been made clear that you don't want to be as intimate as you were in the past.

In any case, if your ex refuses, you should accept this as normal, because in this kind of context it is relatively normal and It may be part of a decision that the other person has made a priori, before even talking to you, simply caution.