The 15 family values that you can teach your children
People are acquiring patterns of behavior as we grow. These are not acquired magically: it is necessary that someone teach us to be able to assimilate them into our moral code.
Values are necessary so that our children, once they are adults, are socially adapted people and can have happy lives and achieve everything they set their minds to.
We'll see now a selection of 15 family values that you can teach your children, all of them fundamental to raising children who relate in a healthy way with others.
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Family values in which to educate your children
In order for them to be well-adjusted in society as adults, children must incorporate ethical norms as they grow up that help them live together and form their personality. These ethical norms are not acquired solely as a natural consequence of their biological development: their parents, as main social figures, are the adults who must instill these ethical norms in their children. It is, without a doubt, the education in values of our children one of the most important strategies in their learning.
However, what exactly do we mean when we talk about “values”? We could define them as those principles that allow us to guide our behavior with the aim of fulfill ourselves as people, who guide us to formulate and fulfill goals and purposes, both individually as social.
Values are not taught by saying what they are, but by behaving in a coherent way with them, that is, by parents should be models of these ethical norms so that their children can learn them. It is much more important to teach by doing than by saying and, therefore, parents must show them in every situation that is an opportunity to put them into practice.
Although we could mention hundreds of values that the little ones should acquire, here we are going to discover the 15 family values that you can teach your most important children, that in every house there should be no lack of efforts so that the smallest of the home finish them acquiring.
1. Responsibility
Responsibility is one of the most important values that children should learn from a very young age. It implies becoming aware that their actions will have consequences, both good and bad, and that is why they must take responsibility for their actions..
A good way to transmit this value is for parents to fulfill their obligations, with what is expected of them, in addition to making their children participate in such tasks.
Responsibility is also taught through punishment, as long as it is necessary and there is no other option. If the child has not fulfilled a task or something that she had promised to do, to learn that her actions have consequences, it will be necessary to apply some type of penalty.
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2. Generosity
Every father, brother, uncle or relative who has a child in his family knows that the little ones tend to be selfish. They don't want to share their toys, they don't let her mother pay attention to her other siblings, they don't want to give the bag of candy to her cousin... There are many situations in which his childish selfishness manifests itself. It's not his fault, they're just kids, and a certain lack of generosity is accepted at certain ages..
The problem is that if the value of generosity is not instilled in them, sooner or later they will become children. extremely selfish and self-centered, who as adults will not care about the needs of others or share his things. Teaching to be generous conflicts of all kinds are avoided, in addition to making children more likely to compartir without expecting anything in return encourages prosocial behaviors, making other children also be generous with them and become more good friends.
3. Commitment
Commitment is a value closely related to responsibility, although it is not exactly the same. We could define it as set some goals and try to carry them out in the long term. This value is especially useful at an academic level, since the child will do everything possible to get good grades, finish class projects or have good relationships with your peers if you have committed to your parents.
Commitment is also important in social relationships. It is necessary that in any relationship both parties commit to respecting each other, valuing the other party and giving the best of themselves. Thus, children commit to their friends not to leave them behind if they have a problem, to be there no matter what, to attend their birthdays or invite them to a soccer game. Commitment is a clearly prosocial value.
4. Tolerance
For better or for worse our society is globalized. One of the positive aspects of this globalization is the contact of a multitude of ethnic groups, cultures and religions. who try to live in harmony in the same society. Contact can cause conflict if it is mishandled, which is why tolerance has become a fundamental value in our times.
Accept that everyone has their own identity, their mother tongue, their culture, their ideas, their sexual orientation, gender and other completely valid aspects is a way to reduce that possible conflict. In order to create a society without prejudices and in which tensions are not generated due to things that we cannot change, it is a social imperative to teach tolerance to the little ones. With it, we make them see that everyone has an identity, and that these identities are equal in rights and respect.
5. Modesty
Before starting school, children spend most of the day with their parents or grandparents, receiving all kinds of praise for what they do and don't do. It is not surprising that in many cases they think that they are the best, that no one else can be compared to them. However, As soon as they start kindergarten or school, they discover that there are more children like them in this world., and that they too have been told that they are the best. Their bubble, in which they thought they were the best, has just burst.
This generates some conflict, it could even be said that they go through a small identity crisis, although it is resolved relatively quickly. Parents should teach their children that they have their good points and their bad points, that no one is perfect and that you have to be humble. Each one has its strengths and also weaknesses. You have to be proud of what you excel at, and try to improve what is necessary. You also have to know how to see the good in others, and value it.
6. Gratitude
Things, whether material or not, are not free. Everything has a cost, both in economic terms and in time and effort. A father's love is a true investment of many resources and children should know how to value it and be grateful for it. They must appreciate the efforts of others so that they have everything they have, in the same way so that both adults and other children should thank them for the good things they do for them. they.
The best way to teach the value of gratitude at home is for parents and older siblings to put it into practice. There are many small gestures and actions that can be done to show gratitude., such as thanking whoever made the food, giving the mother a massage after work, cleaning the house as a thank you for going shopping...
7. Honesty
Honesty or sincerity is one of the most essential values in our society. It is closely related to humility, although sincerity is telling the truth, not lying or changing the facts as they are. Without honesty, no person can mature or understand that no one is perfect, just like humility.
Although it will end up being a learned value over time, it is not uncommon to find adults who do not have it very internalized. This is why it is so important that parents take charge of teaching it to the little ones, explaining to them why lying is wrong because it not only harms others, but also they themselves risk being harmed by the effect of their own lies.
8. Empathy
Each one has their own feelings, desires, needs and goals to meet, a fundamental idea that, if not assimilated, will not allow us to live in a society. Empathy is a value that must be acquired in order to understand this reality, learning that we should not do things to others that we ourselves would not like them to do to us.
Although it is true that empathy develops as one grows, it is necessary that the child's closest environment encourage it. Parents can demonstrate this by paying attention to their children when they are sad or angry, asking what is wrong with them, and showing interest in their well-being. Thus, children will see that their parents listen to them and, over time, they will develop the ability to listen actively, essential for the development of good empathy.
9. Self-esteem
Humility is a fundamental value, which teaches us that socially we are not the most perfect or the best in the world.
However, It is one thing to understand that we are not the best at everything and another is that we think that we do not deserve respect or value ourselves.. This is why to prevent children from falling into this unpleasant extreme, they are taught the value of self-esteem.
Children must learn to value themselves and not allow anyone to walk all over them. This value serves to educate empathy, learning what they do not like to be done to them and what they should not consent to in any context.
Praise is a good tool to build self-esteem, as long as it is used appropriately.. Praise should not be abused, only use it when the child has done something extraordinary or very good, such as getting a good grade, sharing with others, washing the dishes...
10. Friendship
Friendship is essential at any age, but critical in early childhood. A child who does not get good friends from kindergarten or the first years of primary school it may be a child who ends up living in isolation when he grows up, especially in adolescence.
Having friends is essential to be able to relate properly, in addition to having more support apart from the family.
Friendship can only be developed as a value in person, or at least by having continuous contact with other people. It's not just about adding a friend on Facebook or Instagram, it's about sharing experiences, give support and be supported, invite to birthdays, share and feel that another human being value. Who has a good friend has a treasure.
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11. Optimism
Life is not a path of roses, but looking at it with good eyes can help us to overcome it properly. Teaching the little ones to live with enthusiasm and optimism, always trying to look for the positive side of things and overcome setbacks is a fundamental value for their development.
Optimism is the fuel that feeds self-improvement, self-esteem, happiness and success. It is what teaches us that there will not always be good times, but that they will always end up being overcome and that by putting effort and a good face on difficulties, we can overcome them faster.
12. Patience
Patience is perhaps the most difficult value to teach children. when they are little learn to defer gratification, to understand that it is not possible to have everything at once and that on many occasions they will have to wait a bit to get their long-awaited prize. This can be perfected with the classic marshmallow experiment, but it can also be taught by explaining that if they are patient they will achieve more than they originally planned.
For example, if our child wants to play video games all weekend, we can tell him that he will only get it if during the week he puts the console aside and starts studying. If he succeeds, we'll let him spend as much time as he wants with his games come Saturday, if not, time will be limited. Thus the child will learn to control his desire to play, learning that it is better to wait and get the big prize instead of getting small immediate satisfactions.
13. Effort
In times when immediacy and ease are the most demanded, it seems that the culture of effort is dying out. The striving will be disappearing, but the demand to strive will not. Effort will continue to be a necessary value to be able to succeed in life.
This is why we must instill in our children the culture of effort, learn that things will not be achieved by simply sitting in a chair and waiting for opportunities to fall from the sky. If they want to learn a language, master a sport or know how to play an instrument, they will have to work hard and spend many hours practicing. They should ignore slogans so seen on the networks such as "learn to play the guitar in a week, without effort!". Surprise: they don't work.
14. Character
It may surprise us to say that character is a value. Character is something that many believe to be immutable and static, the same throughout the child's entire life. There is a widespread belief that it is something we have to settle for from birth: if it is good, it is fine, and if it is bad, then it is felt. The personality and character can change, and with them the values and the belief system.
Obviously, children are not blank slates. They have a personality, a character that takes characteristics from their father and mother. Education is the environmental variable that allows shaping how a person is, and that is why it is so important. By teaching habits, repeating them, evaluating them and seeing how well they are doing, we can reinforce the character of the little ones.
15. Happiness
Happiness is the value and feeling that should be fostered in every child. After all, every good father wants his children to be happy. Happiness should not be understood as a synonym of joy at all times, but to be satisfied for being who we are, for what we have, for everything we have achieved in our lives. That is, it is a value that feeds and, at the same time, feeds on the other values that we have explained.
Happiness is the consequence of having been putting our efforts into a project, having committed to him, being patient and never giving up, always putting on a good face. It is the consequence of having a good system of values, of applying them in our day to day.
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