How to prevent conflicts at Christmas parties

Every year millions of families gather throughout the country to celebrate the Christmas holidays, a period that, due to its importance in many cultures, it is experienced as something special even among people who are not even Christian or believer. There is no doubt that Christmas has transcended beyond the religious realm, and this is due to a series of social inertia that generates expectations, customs, and even an iconography linked to these dates. In short, certain psychosocial mechanisms appear that They take us to experience Christmas whether we want it or not; Even those who say they don't care are forced to “position” themselves before it.

This set of forms of social pressure and expectations give rise to a context in which people especially prone to conflicts among themselves to meet and participate in special events, especially in the context of the family extended. In the same way, the fact that situations such as Christmas dinners require a certain amount of organization and effort to getting involved and cooperating can add to the stress the frustration of seeing that others do not collaborate as should.

In short, it is relatively common for a paradox to occur during the Christmas holidays: on the one hand, a climate of mutual understanding and support between beings is expected on these days loved ones, and on the other hand there are reasons to worry about whether arguments and conflicts will arise that totally break that claim to connect affectively with the loved ones. the rest. Fortunately, there are some strategies that we can apply to avoid these problems; In this article we will talk about How to prevent conflicts at Christmas parties.

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The keys to avoid conflicts at Christmas parties

If you live with a family that regularly has this type of problem, keep reading; below you will find practical tips and tricks that we can use at Christmas parties to prevent the appearance of those frictions that can arise especially in meetings with the family extended.

1. Ensuring consensus on important issues

Make sure there is real consensus on where and how to meet all family members It is the first step to organize a Christmas gathering in which all the participants are comfortable and satisfied with the plans.

Ask the opinion of the whole family to establish important questions such as where the meal will be held or the Christmas dinner is the best way for each family member to feel integrated into the group and see that her opinion is important. In addition, it generates commitment, and it is a first step for everyone to get involved and have the desire that everything goes well, by being part of it.

To achieve this objective, we must take into account the possibilities that each family member has of commute or who live further from the city and have more difficulties adapting to the plan agreed.

When deciding where the event is to be held (whether it is to be held in a house or, on the contrary, in a restaurant) we must take into account if someone volunteers to lend her house, otherwise contrary You should never pressure anyone to do it or assume that it will..

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2. Share the costs fairly

Organizing an equitable distribution of all the expenses derived from each celebration will ensure that no family member has to spend significantly more money than the rest and there are no conflicts of any kind over real or imagined comparative grievances.

To ensure this objective, it is advisable to previously establish a budget for all the expenses derived from each of the dinners, lunches and Christmas celebrations of all kinds and divide the expenses by the total number of participants.

There are cases in which a relative can offer to pay more for whatever reason, the important thing is to ensure that it is a voluntary offer, that it is not a much higher sum than what the others offer (so as not to alienate the rest of the participants) and that everyone agrees to comply with the agreed budget.

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3. Be aware of controversial issues in advance

Some of the topics that are discussed in family gatherings can end up giving rise to heated discussions, that is why we must take into account tell which ones they are in order to divert the conversations towards other topics if at a given moment they are reached almost without intending to or due to misunderstandings

Having in advance a brief mental list of the topics that can cause more conflict, we will be able to more easily prevent all kinds of unnecessary discussions during the celebrations relatives. And by the way, if any family member does not feel comfortable sharing certain information with the rest, there is no need to pressure him to make it known in this type of meetings, no matter how much it may seem “practical” to take advantage of them for this.

4. Help mothers and fathers

Fathers and mothers with young children often have a great job taking care of their children in the midst of family gatherings, that is why we must offer our help in everything they may need so that everyone spends a pleasant day and relaxed.

Most parents know that combining these family gatherings with taking care of the little ones can be complicated and stressful, so it is important that they feel supported. And of course, you have to avoid plans that make them feel left out or left out (for example, a dinner in a restaurant or event where small children are not accepted).

To ensure that the work is distributed among everyone, we can organize support for parents in turns, having each family member take care of of the children for a while so that the parents can rest or hire someone to take care of the children during the day.

5. Do not force reconciliations

In some families there are confrontations or arguments that last over the years, among other things because these people rarely see each other. In the event that two or more people do not get along for whatever reason, it is important that it is they who control the times of reconciliation in case it occurs, and who are willing to it. One more time, It is about not assuming things for the simple fact that it is Christmas and you are all together.

In addition, you must avoid forcing them to talk to each other or do activities in which they have to cooperate. specifically those people only, since a true reconciliation will only be possible naturally and not forced.

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6. Assign seats strategically

To prevent any type of conflict during dinners, meals and evenings of all kinds, it is also advisable to assign the seats in which each diner will sit. conscientiously, trying not to sit close to those relatives who get along worse or who have practically nothing in common and may be displaced if they are far from those people with whom they have the most affinity.

7. share the work

Distributing the work equitably is one of the most important measures to prevent a person or group of people from having to do all the tasks during family lunches or dinners.

This distribution must be done so that everyone collaborates and participates in all the tasks and responsibilities that have to be dealt with: from cooking and preparing the food, to serving the dishes, clearing them and wash them.

This aspect should become an integrated habit in all family celebrations. and it can be achieved through the establishment of turns written by hand or by computer in which the work of each participant is reflected.