How to emotionally manage doubts before getting married

When it comes to taking such an important step as getting married with our partner, it is common for some last-minute doubts to arise; doubts that make us reflect and rethink whether to go ahead or not.

Sometimes it is very difficult to know how to emotionally manage this tendency to question the step we are going to take when marrying someone, and on some occasions, this gives rise to a dynamic of self-sabotage. And it is that the simple fact of reinforcing the idea that we may be making a mistake is enough to generate what is known as a self-fulfilling prophecy: our The perception of that relationship as a couple is clouded by pessimism and anguish, so that marriage effectively becomes an option with many chiaroscuro.

Therefore, in this article we will delve into the subject of how to emotionally manage doubts before getting married.

• Related article: "6 limiting beliefs, and how they harm us on a day-to-day basis"

Tips to overcome doubts before getting married

Although all people are different and worry about different things, these are the main sources that can cause us doubts before getting married.

1. Taking time to reflect without judging ourselves

Taking time for yourself to reflect on the idea of ​​getting married in solitude is an excellent way to assess whether we should take the step or if it would be better to wait a while or dismiss the idea. That does not have to imply postponing the wedding day, but it does have to rearrange our agenda or calendar to be able to have moments to dedicate ourselves only to thinking about it.

Also, we need to remind ourselves frequently that we don't owe a marriage to anyone; It is everyone's right to think long before taking that important step. We must not give in to the feeling of guilt, because this is result of social pressure.

2. Analyze our values ​​and life projects

When emotionally managing doubts about marriage, it is important to always have a reference about the ideas on which we must rely to assess the pros and cons.

And in this sense, A good place to start from is a list of our values ​​and priorities in terms of life projects.. It should be a list of relatively abstract concepts, but that can be captured in a few words. We shouldn't expect everyone to be compatible with marrying that person, but we should opt for the majority to be or, at least, to be readapted to this new lifestyle of married.

3. Assess personality compatibility

Long-lasting couples tend to strengthen their commitment to values ​​such as mutual affection, trust and the compatibility of personalities, character and way of being of both members of the couple.

Reflecting on how compatible we are with the person we are going to marry is a good way to know if our relationship will last. This means analyze in depth if we have personalities or ways of being similar or if they complement each other.

Having a complementary personality to that of your partner means that there is good chemistry with the other person and that between both members the relationship is fluid, positive and in which relationship dynamics are generated suitable for creating a future in common.

• You may be interested in: "Do opposites really attract?"

4. Write the reasons why we are with our partner

A good exercise to overcome the doubts that we may have when deciding if we want to get married is to write on a piece of paper all the reasons why we are and want to be with our couple.

So we can express know the motivations that make us want to be with that person and value the positive elements for which we would like to embark on a lasting marriage.

5. Enhance communication

As in any interpersonal relationship, communication is also another of the essential elements for a marriage to last over time.

Evaluating whether we have a good level of communication with the person we are going to marry is another of the reflections that we must carry out previously in our internal forum, with the objective of whether we will have a successful relationship in the future.

Couples with a good level of communication tend to talk at all times about any problem that may occur on a daily basis and They are more efficient when it comes to solving them.. On the contrary, a low communication level tends to cause more daily problems and conflicts in the couple.

• Related article: "The 12 basic communication skills"

6. Value the dynamics that are put into practice in difficult times

Taking into account how our partner works in times of greatest difficulty is also necessary to decide if the relationship would work in a hypothetical long-term marriage.

Couple relationships are strengthened in adversity, when they should be more united, and it is in these moments when the social and communication strategies that each member of the group has are put to the test. the couple.

A couple that doesn't work well in adverse situations or that it does not know how to function in difficult moments, it will be difficult for it to succeed and last in the future.

• You may be interested in: "Couple crisis: 7 signs that indicate that something is not right"

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If you are interested in having psychological assistance, please contact me.

My name is Thomas Saint Cecilia, I am a psychologist specialized in the cognitive-behavioral model, and I can assist you in person and online.