14 Toxic Words You Should Eliminate From Your Vocabulary

There are toxic words that we should not use. Some of them are negative for us because they are limiting terms that prevent us from advancing and develop, others are not very specific and others can damage the self-esteem of the person to whom it is applied. we say.

As the psychologist Montse Luján Treviño affirms: "The way we use language affects others, because we can sink someone or cause a change in attitudes according to what we say”.

• Related article: “The 16 types of language (and their characteristics)”

we are what we say

Words have a positive or negative effect on ourselves and on others. Catherine Pratt, author of the book "How to Deal with Negative People," says that negative people can cause others to feel exhausted or even depressed. And it is that the words we use not only affect other individuals, but they speak a lot about us. As the popular phrase says, “language is the reflection of our thought”.

Toxic words also have consequences on our own image and on how others see us. People want to surround ourselves with positive people and avoid those people who make us feel bad and who project negativity. In addition, toxic words are also limiting words, in the sense that they limit our personal development and do not allow us to achieve success.

A list of toxic words

But, what toxic words are there? what are the negative words?

There are a number of terms that we should not use as part of our language. They are next.

1. Incompetent

There are words that when someone receives them make them feel clumsy and inept. That is why you should avoid calling someone incompetent. Because? Because each person has a series of strengths and weaknesses, and can be good at performing some tasks but not others.

For example, a person is still not good at working as a waiter, but they can have a great command of new technologies and perform excellently as a web programmer. In order not to use the word incompetent when it comes to work or studies, it is always wise to encourage this individual to find their true passion. It may not work for that job, but there will be another in which it fits perfectly and in which you can exploit his skills.

2. Queer

Individuals can have many prejudices and get defensive with what does not fit into our mental schemes. There are many cultures with their ways of thinking and their values ​​and their customs, and this is what makes our world so varied, rich and diverse. C.When we say that someone is weird, we are saying that we are normal.when, in reality, we are all different.

If you are one of those who calls someone weird and suffers from some kind of problem, you should be grateful for the luck you have had to be born in a good family and to enjoy good health. Life can be very unfair to some people.

3. I need you

This phrase, if used in a relationship, refers to emotional dependence. It is used by people who have low self-esteem and who get hooked on a relationship despite being toxic. When someone has high self-esteem, they don't need anyone to be happy., because the partner is a complement and is not everything for him or her.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with enjoying the company of a loved one, nor with expressing that love that you feel. However, confusing this with normalizing the fact that you depend on the other (with all that this implies) can make you fall into a kind of small cult based on two people.

• Related article: “12 tips to overcome emotional dependency”

4. Can't

"I can't" is one of those limiting words that make it impossible for you to take action and are paralyzing.. Except in extreme cases, effort and perseverance will allow you to achieve your goals, as long as these goals are realistic and you know how to manage your resources. But it must be clear that many times, the biggest barrier that exists between oneself and the goals realizable are self-sabotaging thoughts, created as an excuse not to get out of the zone of comfort.

5. I must, I must not

"Should or shouldn't" has to do with a series of social beliefs or what others tell you to do. You are the only person who knows what motivates you and what will make you happy. So now you can delete this word or phrases like: I must get married, I must be a doctor, etc. from your personal dictionary. Better to use like this: "I want to be a firefighter" or "I want to travel".

6. Impossible

This word is similar to "can't", and as stated above, except some cases, realistic goals can be achieved. More than impossible, it would be better to say: "it is difficult but not impossible."

The question is that although in practice there are things that cannot be done in a certain time and with the resources of the that is available, we use very often in concept of the impossibility not to move from the place, not to make an effort to progress.

7. Hate

Hate is a negative emotion that encourages aggression and violence. According to the psychologist Manuel Vitutia in the Huffington Post, “This emotion steals our peace and doesn't let us enjoy anything else. Feeling hate is like suffering from an ulcer." We won't get anywhere by telling someone we hate them. Acceptance is always better and move on without grudges.

8. Bored

There are always things to do, if you're bored it's because you don't have a rich life. Instead of staying on the sofa watching TV, you better go for a walk, run or read an interesting psychology book like these: “The 30 best Psychology books that you cannot miss”.

9. Angry

Anger is often a reaction that we regret.. For example, when we're in a relationship and we explode over something silly, then it's time to apologize for our reaction and admit that it wasn't such a big deal. Experts say that anger is a secondary reaction that often hides insecurity, fear wave sadness. Therefore, if you are going to get angry, first analyze if there is no other cause that is causing your anger.

10. Blame

Blaming others can also mask our own insecurities., and can avoid acknowledging that we too are guilty. In fact, it is easier to blame the other than to reflect deeply on your part of the blame.

11. Ugly

We live in a society that highly values ​​the physical appearance of people and in which a culture of image predominates.. And not everyone has physical features that fall in love. But that does not give you the right to despise someone for that reason, because they may have other important qualities inside. Calling someone ugly can do them a lot of harm and that is why we must delete it from our dictionary.

12. Useless

Calling someone useless is like calling them incompetent.. It is a demeaning insult that should be avoided at all costs. At work, if you think that someone does not have the necessary qualities to carry out that role, let them know but encourage them to dedicate themselves to something else. Surely you can bring out his talent in another way.

13. Failure

The word failure must be deleted from the personal dictionary, because it is a limiting word and, therefore, interferes negatively in personal development. Failures are experiences from which you can learn and they are very enriching experiences.

14. Bad

Calling someone bad is unspecific. Also, whether something is good or bad can be debatable. For example, there are people who think that having sex with more than one person is bad, even though it really isn't.

Likewise, we can call someone bad simply because they do not treat us as we would like. To give another example, if our partner leaves us, the pain will make us see them as a bad person, because it is the resentment that is manifesting.