Child-to-parent violence: what it is and why it happens

Child-to-parent violence is violence committed by children against their parents.. It usually occurs from underage males towards the mother, although not necessarily. The aggressions can be both physical and psychological or material and occur repeatedly, with the aim of maintaining control of family dynamics. For this reason, significant cycles of violence are generated that negatively affect both the victims and the family itself.

In this article we will see in more detail what child-to-parent violence is, why it can occur and what are some of its consequences.

Related article: "Domestic violence and its effects on children"

What is child-to-parent violence?

Child-to-parent violence is a type of intra-family violence that is characterized by a set of aggressive acts that are perpetrated by a minor towards his parent, making the latter feel threatened, intimidated and controlled (Paterson, Luntz, Perlesz & Cotton, 2002, cited by Gámez-Guadix & Calvete, 2012).

In the Spanish criminal code, child-to-parent violence is typified in article 173(2) and is defined as "habitual mistreatment in the family environment", where the main characteristic is

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the civil relationship or cohabitation between the victim and the aggressor, which does not necessarily imply a biological link between the two (Molla-Esparza and Aroca-Montolío, 2018). In other words, the victim is the one who has a civil responsibility with the aggressor, although it is not always the parent.

Main features

Child-to-parent violence can occur both in families that have a blood relationship, as well as in foster, adoptive or reconstructed families. Likewise, aggression can be direct or indirect, and The abuse can be verbal, psychological, material or economic, physical or sexual.

Said abuse is also characterized by the presence of behaviors of intimidation, control, dominance or power on the part of the aggressor, that are carried out intentionally and that can cause harm or pain to the victim. On the other hand, the aggressions can be carried out by one or several members of the family nucleus, and directed at one or several members of the same.

Being a socially unacceptable phenomenon, one of the characteristics of child-to-parent violence is that is usually kept hidden within the family, which aggravates the cycle of violence. Therefore, it is a phenomenon that until recently had not been studied.

Especially when it comes to minor children, this phenomenon is usually covered up, since the Responsibility for the child's behavior tends to fall entirely on the parents, in many cases on the mother, who is precisely the object of aggression in the majority.

Currently, child-to-parent violence has gained special interest, which is why there is a large amount of specialized literature on the subject.

You may be interested in: "The 6 stages of childhood (physical and mental development)"

Why happens?

The clinical-forensic psychologist and Ombudsman for Children of the Community of Madrid, Javier Urra, is one of the most recognized specialists in investigation and description of child-to-parent violence.

tells us that in most cases are exercised by a male minor between 12 and 18 years of age, and that the aggression occurs mainly towards the mother. It is usually the eldest child, although they may be younger children, which generally occurs when the older ones have left home.

The same psychologist explains that child-to-parent violence is related to the development of dominant personalities and behaviors of children, which in turn is a consequence of both an excessively permissive society and previous exposure to violence.

Following the above, we will now briefly look at the relationship between child-to-parent violence and experiences of violence within and outside the family, as well as Some of the reasons why child-to-parent violence intensifies within families.

Relationship between child-to-parent violence and exposure to violence

Urra (2006) does not say that some of the elements that surround child-to-parent violence and that represent important risk factors are the following:

vicariously learned violence, for example, of the treatment of the father towards the mother.
When it comes to children of separated parents, it can happen by the influence of the father's comments on the mother, and vice versa, as well as certain styles of living with new couples.
In adopted boys it can occur due to a history of violence or condescending parenting styles that compensate for the lack of blood ties.

On the other hand, Molla-Esparza and Aroca-Montolío (2018), in their review of the scientific literature on child-to-parent violence, tell us that violent behavior occurs when the individual has learned to use force of any kind on another individual, being this a mechanism to achieve objectives, solve problems and resolve conflicts, within a framework where there is a real or perceived imbalance of power.

The latter is added to the studies on the explanatory model of the intergenerational theory of violence, which report how the observation or experience of abuse is a risk factor that triggers violence child-parent.

In other words, direct or indirect exposure to violence, which among other things brings with it the inability to reject inappropriate behaviors firmly, the probability of developing a dynamic of violence from children to children increases. parents. Such exposure usually occurs within the home., although it can also happen on the street or in other nearby environments.

Related article: "The 11 types of violence (and the different kinds of aggression)"

Intensification due to two-way violence within the family

Following the previous line, Sancho, 2016, tells us that child-to-parent violence is a phenomenon that is not only a problem for the child, but for the family as a whole. This is so because, on the one hand, dynamic violence is often experienced negatively by all family members. On the other hand, all types of domestic violence has a series of elements that speak of relational dynamics and conflicts and not just individuals.

For example, it often happens that there are desperate attempts to restore the hierarchy, thus installing a dynamic of violence bidirectional, which, being perceived as an aggression by both parties, is justified as a form of self-defense (Molla-Esparza and Aroca-Montolío, 2018). This intensifies and lengthens the cycle of violence, however, these dynamics, which lead to the violent relationship, can be traced, identified and modified.

Emotional consequences in parents and prevention strategy

We have seen that child-to-parent violence is that through which the child engages in abusive behaviors against her parents, or against those who perform said function. this last occurs consciously or intentionally, as well as repeatedly over time.

It should be noted that the two previous elements, intentionality and repetition, are determining factors for behaviors to be defined as abuse, and distinguished from a specific aggression that is not considered child-to-parent violence (Molla-Esparza and Aroca-Montolío, 2018).

On the other hand, the immediate purpose of the exercise of violence is not so much to cause harm as to gain control of the dynamics generated with the victim. However, damage is one of the inevitable consequences, since said domain is pursued through psychological, emotional, physical, or economic violence.

The main consequence of the latter is the prolonged experience of suffering and frustration in parents, due to the violent situation and also due to the feeling of lacking the resources to avoid or counteract it. It can also imply significant difficulties with the partner or with whom the care of the child is shared.

Specifically, depending on the frequency and intensity of the attacks, child-to-parent violence can lead to concealment, guilt, shame and a sense of failure, to mention some of the main emotional consequences in parents.

Finally, according to the research by Molla-Esparza and Aroca-Montolío (2018), the higher the level of impotence and confusion on the part of these, the risk of perpetuating the cycle of violence is higher, since it is generated between the need to give in and, on the other hand, the need to fend; For this reason, prevention and intervention strategies must act to break the coercive dynamics of said cycle.

Bibliographic references:

Molla-Esparza, C. and Aroca-Montolío, C. (2018). Minors who Mistreat their Parents: Comprehensive definition and its Cycle of Violence. Legal Psychology Yearbook, 28: 15-21.
Sancho, J L. (2016). Child-to-parent violence: psychosocial characteristics of adolescents and parents in severe family conflict. Doctoral Thesis, Faculty of Psychology, Complutense University of Madrid.
Rodriguez, N. (2017). Child-to-parent violence study: analysis of a juvenile court case. Final Degree Project in Psychology, Universitat Jaume I.
Gamez-Guadix, M. and Calvete, E. (2012). Child-to-parent violence and its association with exposure to marital violence and parent-to-child aggression. Psychothema, 24(2): 277-283.
Urra, J. (2006). The little dictator. When parents are the victims. The Sphere of Books: Madrid.