How to face death: 4 keys to keep in mind

Plato said that learning to die one learns to live better. And, if we think about it, this thinker was right: the idea of ​​dying is a background noise that accompanies us throughout life and that we must know how to manage. Sometimes, we avoid dealing with the discomfort that this reality causes us, and we simply choose not to think about it. But there comes a time when it is necessary to ask the question: how to face death?

In this article we will review some reflections and useful psychological keys to know how to live with the idea that one day both we and our loved ones will disappear.

• Related article: "The role of Psychology in irreversible processes: 5 attitudes towards death"

Several keys to know how to face death

The fear of death is, as far as is known, a universal phenomenon. It is present in all cultures that have been studied and, curiously, not even people with stronger religious beliefs are spared from it. In fact, recent research has shown that Buddhist monks who live in monasteries have a greater fear of death than average, despite the fact that theoretically the doctrine they follow leads them not to focus on

The I" and therefore not to worry about their own disappearance.

Now, it is practically impossible to value death positively does not mean that we should resign ourselves to suffering for this to unsuspected limits. There are several ways to soften the negative impact of the end of life, and all of them involve acceptance. Let's see it.

1. Don't take life as a struggle

For some time now people have been criticizing the fact that we refer to having cancer as a "fight" against the disease. This is so because thinking in these terms leads to assuming a frame of reference according to which those who Those who survive are the strong, and those who perish are the weak: they have not been able to overcome and have lost a battle.

The same can be applied to any cause of death, including death from natural causes. As human beings we have no ability to voluntarily control all the biological processes necessary to stay alive; is something that simply escapes our interests, and therefore No matter how hard we try, we cannot prevent the end of life from reaching us.

2. Assuming that normal is not living

Because of our tendency to build a strong sense of identity formed by each other's autobiographical memory, we take for given that the normal thing is to exist, to be able to look face to face at the same nature that will continue to be there for hundreds of millions of years. However, this is an illusion, and moreover It is one of the things that leads us to suffer more when the idea of ​​death approaches us..

If we believe that by default we ourselves are in the category of "what is", the end of our going is something that will undermine the foundations of all our beliefs. We will not only have to face the fear of suffering physically; In addition, it can lead us to a existential crisis.

Therefore, it is necessary to assume that our consciousness and sense of identity are nothing more than fragile realities mounted on a complex network of bodily processes that do not always have to work.

3. Close our personal history, but not completely

In death processes, a paradox occurs: it is good that the person who is going to die goes through farewell phases, if it can be both to their loved ones and to places and objects to which they feel attached. However, at the same time it is good that he does not limit himself to waiting for death. Absolute inactivity leads to rumination and to the obsessive thoughts, and thus anxiety always remains very high.

It is good to feel that there is always something to do, to the extent of one's own possibilities. That means you don't even need to have a good degree of mobility. If one wants, it is possible to find things to do. Of course, no one should insist that a sick person do things simply to follow this principle; it is oneself who must choose.

4. Know the nature of fear

By definition, no one suffers from being dead. What produces discomfort is both the prospect of ceasing to exist and feeling physical suffering, on the one hand, such as the emotional pain that the death of someone produces in loved ones, on the other. Much of what it means to perish has to do with how we experience the death of others, something that in most cases makes us feel very bad.

However, when it comes to self-death, death doesn't even have to come with physical suffering. Its effect on us can be the same as losing consciousness, something that happens every night when we start to sleep. Many people suffer more from experiences they get out of alive than from death itself. It must be assumed that the emotions to be managed are more related to the community experience of death, and with the fact of being the person who is at the center of the mourning ritual of the the rest.