Emotionally dependent parents: how to help them?

Emotional dependence is a psychological disorder characterized by a notable alteration in the relationship patterns of people and by an emotional "addiction" towards other loved ones in their environment, such as friends, relatives or couples.

Although this phenomenon has been widely studied in couples and romantic interests, the truth is that it can also occur between parents and their children, a more frequent phenomenon than we think and that can have truly devastating consequences both among parents and young people in the home. For example, it can occur in divorced parents who feel lonely and try to make their children feel sorry for them in order to have them. "by his side" and fight the feeling of loneliness, or in fathers and mothers who fear the moment in which their children will be emancipated, among others cases. So that, let's see what we can do to parents with emotional dependency to give them the support they need.

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What to do to help fathers and mothers with emotional dependency?

Below we will review a series of guidelines and advice that we can apply to help those fathers and mothers who may present a case of emotional dependence towards their children. Of course, we must be clear that as sons and daughters our physical and mental health is also a key aspect in this process, and we don't have to sacrifice endlessly to provide this kind of support constantly; In cases where the situation overwhelms you, it is appropriate to seek professional help in psychotherapy.

1. Promote couple activities

In married couples with children, redirecting attention from what is done on a day-to-day basis from the father/mother-child relationship to the couple's relationship helps to alleviate tensions of this type. And for that, encouraging them to do activities as a couple is often helpful.

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2. Help prevent feelings of loneliness

Some divorced or separated parents may become lonely and use their children to overcome that loneliness or to vent one's own frustrations in the face of life's problems constantly, a very unhealthy form of relationship known as “emotional incest”.

To prevent parents from feeling lonely after a divorce or after the death of their spouses we must help them find useful solutions so that they can overcome this feeling of loneliness.

This can be achieved by looking for all kinds of activities that satisfy our parents and that require introspection, so that loneliness is not always associated with the negative.

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3. Prevent empty nest syndrome

Empty nest syndrome is the feeling of discomfort and suffering experienced by parents who dedicate their lives to taking care of their children once they leave home.

This psychological phenomenon has to do with the feeling of loneliness they experience, as well as in the fact of having dedicated a good part of their life to being committed fathers or mothers.

To prevent this syndrome from developing in fathers and mothers, it is necessary to carry out intense psychological work in which the person achieves understand that their personality cannot be based on the fact of being a father or a mother and that they are worth themselves even if they do not live with their children.

In addition to that, you can also find activities and all kinds of weekly or daily initiatives to keep them busy and help them forget the discomfort caused by the departure of their children.

4. Set limits

As in any case of emotional dependence, the way in which we can help a person to overcome it is by establishing limits with that individual and making it clear what is admissible and what is not.

In the case of some fathers and mothers who emotionally blackmail their children to force them to study a career, we must make them understand that they cannot take sides so intensely in that crucial decision and that they cannot force their children to do anything they do not they want

It is clear that parents can help, advise or give their opinion on any subject, but They should not decide the future of their sons or daughters.

On the other hand, they should not have the perception that as sons or daughters we will be available to them in the event of any complaint or claim; It is important that they become aware that our presence is proportional to the urgency or seriousness of the problem they are facing.

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5. Invigorate social life

Energizing social life is essential for fathers and mothers who can develop an emotional dependence on their children; that is why it is of great importance for the person to go out regularly and stay with other people their age.

In the same way, it can help to meet other people with the same interests with whom to meet and carry out social and recreational activities of all kinds.

6. Go to a psychologist

As long as it is necessary, go to a psychologist it becomes the most effective way to prevent or help mothers and fathers overcome cases of emotional dependence towards their young or older children.

A professional psychologist specialized in this type of case will know how to give us the best advice. and will be able to treat in depth any problem that is the cause of emotional dependence present.