Husbands are 10 times more stressful than children

Relationships and marriages are not always a bed of roses, there are times when the situation becomes complicated, since conflicts between members are frequent.

However, many times these problematic situations can even be beneficial, because if the situation becomes resolves in a mature way, mutual learning can make the couple grow and there is a greater degree of intimacy and rapport.

Relationships are not easy

And it is that coexistence is not easy. Each member of the couple has their values, their needs, their habits, their way of understanding life, and adjusting that to the way of thinking of the other member of the relationship is not always simple.

Each person is a world, each couple is a world and each family is a world. Ideally, adults must set an example and must support each other in everything and contribute equally to family life: in the contribution economically, in the education of the children... But when one of the two members of the couple feels that she is giving more than the other, the conflict can arise.

The day to day of a couple or marriage can be stressful

And living this situation on a daily basis clouds communication and makes the relationship difficult. The conflict can end up being the day to day of the relationship and stress can manifest itself. There are many women who complain about having to do household chores in addition to their own work, dedicating their entire lives to the family.

For this reason, it is not surprising that a survey carried out in the United States, in which more than 7,000 mothers have expressed their opinion, has concluded that husbands generate 10 times more stress than their own children. 46% of the participants stated that their partners caused highly stressful situations for them.

Husbands and added stress

Some women even claimed that their husbands added work to their daily lives.They even gave them more work than their own children. As if that were not enough, some participants stated that while their children hardly gave them headaches, the childish attitude of their husbands bothered them a lot.

Additionally, some complained about the fact that their partners they did not help them with daily tasksSo they didn't have free time. Obviously, these situations were stressful for them, which causes them a great perception of discomfort.

matter of expectations

According to the researchers, these results may be due to irrational expectations.. Many mothers know that their children will cause them conflictive situations, the result of age.

However, the same is not the case with husbands, as they are expected to be a support rather than a burden. “You can expect a child to not understand certain things, but not for an adult to behave like that,” explains one participant. Another, she adds: “I am physically and mentally exhausted when my husband comes home. I feel like it's another job having to keep an eye on him." Do not forget that mother's love can with everything.

And what do the husbands think?

Analyzing the data, we might think that parents are the main cause of the ills of the world. For this reason, the same researchers decided to know more about their opinion on the matter. To do this, they conducted research with 1,500 parents, and half of them acknowledged having shared childcare with their partner. The strange thing was that of the 2,700 mothers interviewed, 75% said they were doing everything on their own. Many parents also confessed to feeling hurt because they believed they had a secondary role in the family. Likewise, they expressed that they would like to be recognized for their efforts from time to time, at least with words of gratitude.

This study reveals that there is a problem of communication and expectations in many homes. Some fathers believe that they are doing enough and that it is not recognized, while mothers think that it is not true.

Whose fault is it?

Leaving aside the data from this study, the reality is that being a parent is already stressful.. In this situation, it is easy for sparks to fly in the relationship and the parents blame the other member of the couple. Being parents can cause really difficult moments.

And it is that if a relationship is already complicated by itself, if on top of that you add the work of raising a child, expenses increase, etc. tension can appear at any time. Fathers and mothers do not stop being people and, therefore, they are imperfect. It is important that communication between parents improves and that there is tolerance between them, because the first to suffer the consequences of this type of situation is the child himself.

Parents also get hurt in these conflictive situations. Several studies found that a stressful marriage, where there is constant conflict, is as bad for heart health as smoking and increases the chances of suffering from cardiovascular diseases in men, as well as in women, In addition, a survey recently conducted with 300 Swedish women found that the risk of suffering a heart attack is multiplied by three when their marriage is troubled.

parenting books

Almost all parents want the best for their children. But raising a child is complicated, especially with the first offspring. No one is born an expert.

That's why, a good educational psychology text for parents can be very useful, because even with the best of intentions, you don't always educate yourself correctly.

• If you would like to purchase a psychology book for parents, in this post you will find a great selection: “The 8 most useful Educational Psychology books for fathers and mothers.”