Passive communication: what it is and how to recognize it in 4 characteristics

Communication can be established in many different ways. After all, the needs, preferences and general personality patterns of people greatly influence the way in which we externalize ideas, beliefs and feelings. Passive communication is an example of this..

In this article we will see what are the characteristics of this type of communication, how it is expressed, what are its drawbacks and how it is possible to improve in this aspect.

• Related article: "The 3 communication styles, and how to recognize them"

What is passive communication?

A summary and simple definition of what passive communication is is the following: a pattern communication characterized by the avoidance of entering into direct confrontation with others through the voiced.

Thus, it is part of a dynamic of relationships with others. in which there is hardly any assertiveness and the feeling of vulnerability prevails.

Its basic characteristics

Next we review the fundamental characteristics of passive communication.

1. Non-verbal language keeping a low profile

What is said does not gain meaning by looking only at the phrases and words used, but also must take into account how it is said. And more specifically, the non-verbal language that accompanies the verbally transmitted message.

In the case of passive communication, a non-verbal communication style that expresses submission prevails: avoidance of the other's gaze or lowered gaze, tone of voice somewhat lower than that of the other, posture defensive etc

• You may be interested in: "Assertiveness: 5 basic habits to improve communication"

2. Frequent use of an impersonal perspective

There are certain opinions and points of view that people who adopt passive communication do express, but if think they are slightly problematic because they imply things that are annoying to the listener, they often use an impersonal tone instead of one in the first person.

For example, to ask for some damage to the office to be repaired, do not mention the damage that the damage entails for oneself. fact that this fault exists, but rather the presentation of the problem will be more of the style "it would be good if the fault were repaired”. It is a use of the passive that corresponds to the concept of passive communication.

3. Avoidance of direct confrontation and use of euphemisms

Another of the typical characteristics of passive communication is that it does not directly show that there is a clash of ideas or interests. Instead, if there is indeed a mismatch of opinions or needs, expresses himself in a supposedly neutral way, as if all parties involved in the conversation are actually looking for a win-win solution, even when they really aren't.

For example, if two people apply for the same position, it can be said that both "seek their place in the company".

4. Avoidance of expressing feelings

People who fit the typical pattern of passive communication they tend not to talk about their feelings as if they were part of the argumentation that supports their statements, even when they are relevant to the subject matter. In these cases, once again, an impersonal type of manner of speaking is used.

The disadvantages of this pattern of behavior

As we have seen, in passive communication there is a clear lack of assertiveness. As a consequence of this, mainly various consequences can occur.

Either misunderstandings appear, since there is a part of the information that is not being revealed despite the fact that it is important, or the person who maintains the passive communication see how their needs are not met and their interests are not taken into account. This second case also has negative repercussions derived from this situation.

Specifically, the fact of not expressing one's own needs and feelings leads to psychological exhaustion (and many times also physical, if it leads to having to make an extra effort to achieve the total or partial satisfaction of a need). As time goes by, passive communication leads to the accumulation of frustrations, reasons for resentment and malaise in general.

Eventually, all of this may trigger psychological breakdowns, or even outbursts of rage. that conflict with the tendency to maintain a low profile that characterizes communication passive. When this occurs, it is difficult to maintain proper emotional regulation, and it is possible not only to compromise the own well-being, but also damage personal relationships or blame people who are not responsible for what happened.

In general, passive communication fuels the maintenance of low self-esteem, since it helps to perpetuate a dynamic of submission to the rest.

• Related article: "Low selfsteem? When you become your own worst enemy"

What to do to improve the communicative style?

Although it may seem that passive communication serves to avoid conflicts, in reality this is not the case, because without assertiveness there is always a party that is harmed, while there is another that gets used to making their interests prime. That is why it is worth getting out of the passive communication style. To achieve this, it is good to follow the following tips.

• Avoid apologizing unnecessarily.
• Compare the importance of one's own needs and those of others.
• Looking for contexts in which to talk about one's feelings is objectively useful.
• find formulas for start using assertiveness in relationships.