What to do when they play with your feelings: 10 recommendations

Sometimes, we begin to trust someone unconditionally, and we allow him to know facets of our personality that are not available to everyone... And we think the feeling is mutual.

When we realize that the other person didn't really come across as they really are and didn't trust us in the same way, a sense of frustration washes over us. We perceive that our expectations were not met and we feel betrayed.

So that... what to do when they play with your feelings? In this article we will talk about this, we will see how to prevent the feeling of discomfort from taking over from us and we will review useful tips to deal with this situation and prevent it from happening again.

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What to do when they play with your feelings (in a relationship or friendship)

When we are aware that we have given more than necessary in a relationship and we do not receive what we expected from the other person, or even worse, we discover that that special person for us cheated on us in some way. That's when frustration sets in for us.

To answer the question of what to do when they play with your feelings, let's see what are the tools with which we can deal with this situation.

1. Understand that it is a situation that does not depend on you

You do not have control over the other person, the decisions that the other has made are solely their responsibility and that does not have to affect your emotional stability.

Although it is hard, you must realize that in the same way that you could not prevent the other person from not taking you into account, you are not guilty of the actions of others.

2. Remember that you gave your best

Once we have understood that we have no control over the thoughts and actions of other people, it is good to remember that our behavior was worthy of a good friend or a good couple.

Don't feel bad about it, instead focus on the fact that you have the ability to provide others with such a relationship, and that this is something that will accompany you wherever you go.

3. Avoid catastrophic thinking

In this situation that means do not think that all people are the same, avoid generalizing. Otherwise we could fall into social withdrawal, and that situation is never good for our emotional health.

The ideal is to take some time and then give yourself the opportunity to meet new people, always providing trust and being open to trusting them as well. Just because you've been betrayed doesn't mean it has to happen again.

4. Strengthen autonomy

The more responsible we are for ourselves, for our emotions and feelings, the easier it will be for us to recover from a betrayal. Depending on another to be well is unhealthy and generates emotional dependence.

The best thing is that we can be calm and happy, even when we don't have company. If we learn to take advantage of our solitude and enjoy it, then we can create better social relationships.

• You may be interested in: "Emotional dependence: pathological addiction to your sentimental partner"

5. Knowing how to create expectations

This does not mean that we do not expect anything from others, it means that we must better evaluate the expectations that we place on others, and that we ask ourselves to what extent these are achievable or not.

So it will be less likely that someone will let us down, and we will be avoiding future frustrations.

6. Don't dedicate all your time to one person.

Although we really like being with someone, and would like to see them all the time, this behavior is not healthy for the relationship. We all need our space to function in personal areas, which may not be of interest to that special someone.

You can have other friendships with which you feel comfortable in certain spaces. For example, friends from the gym, or friends with whom you play a sport.

7. Work in different areas of our life

Focus all our energy on social relationships it will make us limit ourselves in other aspects which are just as important to our personal satisfaction. For example, focus on the academic and work area.

This will make us reach personal goals that we can enjoy both alone and in company, and we will be less likely to fall into emotional dependence.

8. practice expressiveness

When we feel that we have been betrayed, talking about it greatly alleviates the discomfort. Share your experience with other friends it frees you from an emotional weight that you carry on your back, and you can also get valuable advice to help you move forward.

9. Know how to close cycles

This consists of being able to end the stages of your life in an assertive and healthy way for all parties involved.

When you are able to realize that some people are no longer good for your life, you need to put an end to that story. No hard feelings, saying goodbye with your head held high and moving on.

10. go to therapy

Attending therapy can help you put into practice all the tools you need to progress and get out of that uncomfortable situation you find yourself in. It is not necessary to have hit rock bottom to go to therapy; in fact, you can do it preventively when you think you need it.

Regarding love relationships, the work carried out by psychologists through psychotherapy helps us to close the cycle of mourning caused by frustration and hopelessness. The fact that someone we have been in love with plays with our feelings not only leads to an obvious degradation of that affective bond; Furthermore, it makes us feel like tools used by someone we thought would play a central role in our lives.

Realizing this means saying goodbye to both the idealized version of that person we have loved, and that future together that we imagine. And the work of overcoming that duel is something that psychotherapists do in a specialized way, since it forms part of the most common problems regarding personal relationships that damage psychologically.

But that kind of pain is also present when a friend has played with our emotions. Saying goodbye to a friendship like this and having to reinterpret the moments spent together is often hard. This memory reinterpretation process is also something that is done in psychological therapy.

• Related article: "How to find a psychologist to attend therapy: 7 tips"