The fear of saying 'no' at work

The fear of saying "no" and to set limits is one of the great difficulties and learning that we find in relation to our personal development, be it in the personal, sentimental or work field.

What does it mean not to say "no" or to set clear limits between what you want and what you don't want, between what you can or can't do, and also between what you know and what you don't know? And above all, how to overcome this difficulty?

• Related article: "Assertiveness: 5 basic habits to improve communication"

Problems when saying "no" in the work context

One of the first words that the human being learns is "no". This word is sometimes associated with a negative meaning, but actually setting limits is an essential condition in your life to achieve well-being. Saying "no" helps us to set limits, to get to know ourselves, to build a solid personality where we know what we want., what not, what we can do, where we need more help or directly what we cannot do (limits are also necessary for personal development).

One of the most common problems today is to consider that growing as a person or professional consists of exceeding all your limits.. But we are human beings, and having limits is part of our humanity and nature. The appropriate thing is to be aware of what those limits are. However, if the rest of the world doesn't know your limits because you don't communicate them, where does that get you?

On the personal front, not saying no or communicating your limits leads you to feel that you are not living your own life, but rather that your life is conditioned by the decisions of others. Not setting clear limits, expressing what you really think, feel and need, and what you don't you want, leads you to a state first of frustration, later of helplessness, and finally of discouragement.

In the professional field, everything can be intensified even more. By not making decisions, we end up feeling more and more insecurity and a lack of personal value. By not saying no, it may be possible to accumulate work that does not correspond to us, which leads to more stress, anxiety, fatigue, and therefore discouragement and demotivation for work (sometimes even scared).

Work can be an experience of achievement, learning and well-being or a heavy daily drag. It all depends on how you communicate your limits. Sometimes, not setting limits too implies that others may cross the line and cause you discomfort.

In this video I am going to tell you what is the main origin of the problem of saying no and the limits and how you can start to solve it. Hit play!

The importance of setting clear boundaries

Saying "no," communicating boundaries, or communicating assertively is actually quite simple. The problem is what is stopping you. What prevents us from communicating assertively and setting limits is above all fear.

We are afraid of the answer, afraid of the lack of acceptance and appreciation, fear of risk, fear of losing. But fear is not the problem (since it is a useful and necessary emotion to protect your life) but how you understand and manage your fears and emotions.

In the last 10 years I have accompanied people in their change processes as a psychologist and coach personal and professional, and in the vast majority of cases there was a fear of saying "no" that needed be solved. When you live a process of change and the change occurs in you, starting to set limits becomes more and more a habit.. Work slows down, it becomes more organized, personal relationships improve, you get to know yourself more and you begin to feel that work is a lighter experience.

Of course, assertive communication is not saying "no", it is much more than that. It is to communicate in an essential way. It is to tell the truth, what you think, what you feel and need, and also what you cannot or do not want to do.

• You may be interested in: "Psychology of work and organizations: a profession with a future"

Do you need support?

At empoderamientohumano.com you can find some free resources to start living that process of change, such as the program Get excited, or even schedule a first free exploratory session with me to get to know each other, detect where the problem is, what it could be the solution, and above all see how I can accompany you in this process of change so that, thanks to your own personal change, everything else changes forever.

What happens to us is a result of what we do, how we interpret it, and how we manage the emotions we feel. For this reason, the only possible change is the one that occurs in you. Because from you actions, interpretations change and above all you learn to have emotions on your side instead of against you.