How to boost Self-esteem without falling into self-sabotage?

The myth of the self-esteem always high is that; just a myth. It is impossible to maintain our self-esteem at the same levels in each and every moment of our existence. Throughout life there are situations that can trigger doubt about our own abilities, and this is normal.

For example, when starting a difficult project whose positive results depend on significant aspects of your life (a job, the approval of someone whose opinion matters to you, etc.). It is very possible that, faced with the prospect of being wrong or not doing it right, we suffer a fluctuation in our self-assessment; and this, if it is not maintained over time, is something inherent to self-esteem.

The problem comes when, indeed, this feeling of not "living up" is constant and habitual. If we feel that this is happening to us, it is likely that we have problems with our self-esteem. Of course, in these cases it is necessary to go to therapy, but there are also some tips that you can put into practice to improve your coexistence with yourself. Taking this into account, let's see

some strategies to boost self-esteem without falling into self-sabotage.

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Understanding what self-esteem is

Before exposing the tips that will be useful to improve your self-esteem, we are going to specify what we mean when we talk about self-esteem.

Self-esteem is the set of assessments we make of ourselves, both physically and in relation to our way of being. Although it may seem like something strictly mental (thinking "I am like this"), self-esteem also has a part of emotional type, much more linked to our fears and insecurities and, therefore, it is more difficult to secure.

Poor self-esteem has a negative impact on our lives in many aspects. From the most personal (inability to maintain healthy relationships and friendships) to the workplace (feeling unable to do a job); the perception of ourselves is present in any activity that we propose.

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How to boost our self-esteem?

If self-esteem represents something crucial to lead a healthy and full life, the goal is to take care of it and improve it day after day. Here are some tips that may help you.

1. Exercise is a great ally

Exercise is often linked to a cult of the body, and this is not always the case. Regular sport not only serves to achieve the physical image that we like, but also it is proven that it improves our mental health and, therefore, our self-esteem and general mood.

Intense exercise not only allows us to let go of unwanted thoughts, since it connects us with the present, but also, In addition, by becoming routine, it makes us feel much better about ourselves and trust in who we are. able. On the other hand, exercise generates a series of hormones, the so-called "happiness hormones", which will make you feel much better, as well as help you combat the dreaded stress.

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2. Stay away from toxic people...

Good self-esteem is something that we build ourselves, but it doesn't help at all to have people around you who are constantly criticizing you or doubting your worth. We are not talking about punctual criticisms (sincerity is important in a good friendship) but about people who try to undermine the perception you have of yourself. Stay away from these kinds of people, you don't need them.

3. … and approach who values ​​you

As much as today's society wants to impose individualism taken to the limit, the truth is that human beings are social beings. Therefore, it is useless to try to live alone. Of course, surround yourself with people who love you and value you.

A correct self-esteem is based on a balance between our self-perception and what others think. It's important to listen to others when they're trying to help you, and it's healthy to change your mind if we feel like it. Closing ourselves in that we are the best and that we do everything well will only lead to unhealthy narcissism. Yes indeed; As we have already mentioned, make sure you follow the advice of people who really want your good. On the other hand, good self-esteem also involves keeping in mind who deserves your time and attention and who doesn't. This will reinforce your limits and your decisions, which will inevitably have an impact on improving your self-esteem.

4. Flee from excessive perfectionism and self-criticism

People who have low self-esteem tend to be excessively perfectionists, as well as very self-critical. This leaves no room for flexibility or acceptance of error, and in this way it is impossible to cultivate adequate self-esteem.

One solution is to set realistic goals.. So, instead of saying "I'm going to compose the best musical in history", let's say "I'll write the musical that I would like to write and I'm going to really enjoy the process." The difference is clear; while, in the first case, it is almost impossible to achieve the goal (there will always be a "better" musical, because for tastes, colors), the second is easily achievable, since, if we like music, we will enjoy doing this a lot. activity.

5. do not mistreat yourself

Although sometimes we are not aware, abuse does not always come from outside. We ourselves can treat ourselves in an absolutely abominable way, probably as we would never consent to be treated by another.

So that, The first premise to improve your self-esteem is "stop mistreating yourself". Reinforce positive dialogue with yourself, either to encourage yourself or to congratulate yourself on something you have achieved. If you need to stand in front of the mirror and talk to yourself, do it! No, you're not weird. It is a highly positive exercise for your self-esteem.

Of course, talk to yourself well. To do so, avoid black/white, extremist, or catastrophic ideas, such as "I'm worthless" or "I'm stupid." Let's try replacing them with phrases like “Well, this time I didn't succeed, I'll try again”.

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6. Do activities that you like

Closely linked to the above is the theme of leisure. When we do something we like, time flies by and we feel a sense of fullness that is difficult to describe. Therefore, we must promote these activities that make us feel so good. In addition, we will be able to demonstrate our abilities to ourselves.

7. write a diary

Many psychologists recommend filling the pages of a journal with our thoughts and emotions, noting what triggered them and how we feel. This will help us a lot to get to know each other and to know how our interior works. Knowing our internal mechanism makes it easier for us to review where we fail and move on to improve those points that need improvement, which will have a positive impact on our self-esteem.