Addiction and romantic relationships: what do they have in common?

We have all experienced that feeling of being in love at some point. Those moments that are associated with nerves, butterflies in the stomach and an irrepressible desire to be continuously with that person we love so much.

When we are in love and we are also reciprocated, our mood changes radically. We feel happier, more relaxed. In addition, we fall into a certain idealization of the other person, whom we perceive as that flawless soul mate.

Love is a human need, although it never ceases to amaze us how it can transform people. When we start a love relationship with someone, we live what is known as the honeymoon phase. At this moment, we feel that nothing bad can happen and we want to be forever with that couple who seems to be made for us. A hook is produced by which we feel that we cannot stay apart from the other for too long.

Surely you have heard that love is addictive. And it is that addictions and romantic relationships may have common ground. In this article we will talk precisely about them.

What happens in our body when we fall in love?

Love has been spoken of countless times since the beginning of our existence. However, the truth is that there is still no complete certainty about why we fall in love and what happens when this happens.

In general, it seems that falling in love involves not only psychological and cultural variables, but also biological ones. Behind the serenity, joy and hope that love for someone awakens in us, there seem to be some important physiological correlates. Perhaps this could explain why we can get hooked on another person as if it were a powerful drug.

Some hormones and neurotransmitters kick in when we're attracted to someone.. In particular, the protagonists of this whirlwind are:

• oxytocin: To her we owe the euphoria typical of the first stages of falling in love, which makes us seek physical proximity.
• serotonin: This neurotransmitter mainly influences our mood, making us feel more open, lively and happy.
• dopamine: This neurotransmitter is closely linked to the pleasure response, which is why it rises to significant levels when we are in love. In addition, it is one of the main responsible for us having sexual relations.
• norepinephrine: If you notice that when you see that person your heart soars and you blush, you should know that norepinephrine is responsible.

It should be noted that this maelstrom in our body is something purely transitory. Although at the beginning of a relationship we may feel this way, it is a matter of time before we get used to it and gain trust with each other. Thus, finally falling in love ends up giving way to feelings that are calmer and more adjusted to reality.

• Related article: "What is love? (And what isn't)"

What happens in our body when we develop an addiction?

When a person uses drugs, they directly affect the brain reward circuit. Dopamine is the main neurotransmitter, which, as we discussed above, is associated with the pleasure response. When something is pleasurable to us, our desire to repeat it in the future increases.

This pleasure circuit can be naturally stimulated when we eat, spend time with family, or fall in love. However, when said circuit is overstimulated through the use of substances, the person lives a state of euphoria out of the ordinary. This excess of dopamine forces the organism to seek its homeostasis through the natural reduction of dopamine or the reduction of the ability of some of the cells to react to this neurotransmitter. This translates into an increasing tolerance to the drug, forcing the person to increase the dose of it to achieve the same effects as at the beginning.

• You may be interested in: "How does an addiction affect the brain?"

What addiction and romantic relationships have in common

We are going to comment on some common points that exist between addictions and love relationships.

1. Pleasure Circuit Stimulation

As a result of what we have commented, a point of coincidence between love and addictions lies in that feeling of pleasure related to increased dopamine levels.

When we fall in love, we have that "shot" of energy that makes us believe that we can handle everything, that things will go well and that this person is the right one.

When someone consumes a drug, that shot is much more intense because it results from an artificial process, but it's there.

2. Search for pleasurable stimuli

When we are attracted to someone we look for ways to spend time with that person, find them and repeat dates with them.

When someone consumes a drug, he also experiences that desire to repeat, to go back to look for that substance and do whatever it takes to achieve it.

3. Obsessive thinking about the pleasurable element

As far as our thinking is concerned, in the falling in love phase we have all experienced that feeling of not being able to get that person out of our minds. Everything revolves around her and the rest of the world seems to have ceased to exist.

When someone starts using drugs, that substance also gradually becomes the center of the person's life.. Gradually, he is abandoning other spheres of his life because consumption is positioned as the highest priority.

• Related article: "How to manage obsessive thoughts: 7 practical tips"

4. Impulsiveness

Impulsivity plays an important role in addictions. This considered a risk factor for falling into substance use. In addition, when someone is a consumer, their impulsivity can be increased by the effects of the drug itself. This explains many decisions that are incomprehensible to the environment, as well as behaviors that the person would never perform otherwise.

In the case of love, people can also commit impulsive and apparently "crazy" acts. When we love someone, we do the unthinkable to preserve that bond with the person and show them our feelings.