5 personal profiles that generate psychological discomfort
Given the emotional complexity of the human being, it is often difficult to discern what kind of interpersonal relationships become enhancers for one's own well-being or derive in consequences harmful. Thus, analogously to any individual psychological process, in relationships with people in the environment When assessing these interactions, emotional aspects converge with others of a more rational type.
These assessments, reflections or judgments issued about the experiences we share with other individuals are fundamental because they guide one's own behavior. Therefore, it seems decisive that both factors (emotional and rational) are certainly balanced, without one of them being able to dominate the other. other. This can be especially complicated in the face of some of the so-called toxic personal functioning profiles, forms of personality that generate discomfort very easily. Let's see below what aspects characterize them and how we can identify them.
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Personal profiles that produce psychological discomfort
Since Stamateas published the work "Toxic People" almost a decade ago, as well as other later ones with a similar theme, this term has become significantly popular.
According to the author, toxic people are those who present a high volume of negative emotional charges, very diverse frustrations and a tendency to issue destructive criticism in the form of personal attacks on the people who surround. This pernicious functional style is capable of adversely influencing the latter since can cause the appearance of insecurities or emotional weaknesses, restlessness and significant psychological distress.
For this reason, it seems essential to learn to distance oneself psychologically from this type of group, in order to preserve one's own emotional well-being.
1. The critical profile
This type of individuals are characterized by presenting a profile tending to carry out constant recriminations to exercise control over the other person. Through a functioning based on the criticism of others together with a lack of self-critical capacity, they usually consider themselves perfect beings that generate doubts and insecurities to those around them. They usually resort to confrontation and offense to make the other feel inferior. This reflects an intense feeling of inner anger whose channeling is carried out in this pernicious way.
This psychological style is associated with impulsive and irrational cognitive functioning, so when dealing with them, the oppositional confrontation issued without prior reflection is not very effective. In this way, all this can result in the person receiving the criticism ending up developing the same aggressive behavior that the first person presents. Instead, both resorting to the use of humor, subtle irony or witty responses that throw off the critical interlocutor seem to give better results. Also, following the principles of assertive behavior, a thoughtful, firm and rational questioning of the messages that said person tries to transmit to his "victim" can help to maintain a certain distance between the two parts.
A variant within this same group is identified with the "envious type profile". In the same way as the critical style, it is focused on making contemptuous judgments about the achievements of others instead of focusing on achieving their own goals. They usually give greater importance to material issues as sources of happiness and well-being and hide, in many cases, personalities with low self-esteem and high insecurities.
2. The blame expert
Few aspects distance human beings further from the fulfillment of their objectives and vital goals than the feeling of guilt. This emotion becomes the main method to emotionally block and paralyze one's own self-worth and motivation to achieve one's own projects.
Guilt, unfortunately, has a significant function in our psyche that makes overcoming it more complex: it is an efficient defense mechanism that serves as an explanation when a goal is not achieved due to a lack of effort or energy investment in she. Thus, it seems more comfortable to blame other factors (or people) outside of oneself or one can Self-blame about the causes that have led to “non-success” can also be an easy resource. raised.
One aspect that should be taken into account is the Do not fall into the error of equating the concept of "non-success" to that of failure. In this sense, people who present a profile that tends to blame are governed by an irrationally rigid, inflexible and absolutist functioning. Thus, for them not having fully met their previous expectations can be understood as a failure, instead of a partial success. Therefore, a very relevant point to analyze in this psychological attitudinal style seems to be related to the type of expectations that the individual himself has. These should be realistic rather than overly self-demanding; This is one of the central elements that can activate the alarm to determine if the person in front of you presents this maladaptive behavioral style.
3. The psycho manipulator
Faced with their inability to live in society in an adaptive way, these subjects act for their own interest and understand other people as mere instruments to achieve their own goals. This toxic profile in its most extreme expression, psychopathy, violates the rights of others and commits criminal acts without any remorse. Even so, there are different degrees in the intensity of the characteristics that this type of individuals present, therefore, fleeing from the false belief that the psychopathic profile should be associated with that of a serial killer, this class of people can be found in the social environment more frequently than usual expected.
The handlers seem incapable of possessing the ability to understand and empathize with the rest. They present an immature, irresponsible and egocentric functioning for which they feel easily offended by the acts of the other people and respond to it in an impulsive and angry way, without hesitating to deceive the other to get what they want. propose. Externally, they show a profile of overconfidence and self-love, devaluing others and showing themselves to be incapable of accepting their own mistakes or carrying out any act of self-criticism. Faced with this group of people, the most effective coping option becomes physical and emotional distancing, since who present a great capacity for superficial charm and talkativeness with which they usually manage to convince their "victims".
4. The complainer-conformist
Its most central feature is fear of change and a low tolerance for uncertaintyTherefore, his philosophy of life tends to be oriented towards monotony, routine and is devoid of aspirations and dreams to fulfill. The latter leads them to adopt a passive behavior in which they are not involved or do not invest enough effort to achieve what really satisfies them.
Their reasoning style is closely associated with "short term", immediate reward and comfort. Thus, everything that involves new alternative approaches (more costly on an emotional level or simply different) is valued as dangerous or unaffordable.
The result of all this is to habitually achieve the same mediocre results and resort to constant complaints about not having achieved the goal they really want. In this case, there is also an absence of self-responsibility when considering vital objectives and an excess of blaming other factors external to the person himself as the cause of the outcome of his actions and decisions.
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5. neurotic style
These types of personalities tend to suffer from significant intensity and frequency of anxiety symptoms derived from constant worries generated by all kinds of everyday issues. In turn, their irrational and distorted belief system strongly believes in the need to be loved and accepted by everyone, without exception. For this reason, they require permanent recognition from others and usually set unrealistic and perfectionist goals that are impossible to achieve.
They also use the methodology of the expert in blaming when they do not get what they want, greatly increasing their insecurities, their rigidity through the issuance of extreme reasoning and its general inhibition when carrying out an active coping with the adversities. The latter also serves as reinforced behavior for them since the expression of the complaint and the passivity before circumstances allow them to receive the attention of the people around them, adopting a role victimist.
Faced with a person of this style, it is necessary to assertively set some limits in order to interrupt the vicious circle of unhealthy worries that they continuously transmit to others, as well as the desire for control and obtaining their exclusive attention.
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In conclusion
From what has been exposed, it seems to be noted that there are various ingredients that contribute at an emotional level to the achievement of one's own emotional well-being. It has been observed that Self-satisfaction is a right that must be worked individually through the self-responsibility of the goals, the assumption of the adaptive that results in making mistakes as a necessary process in personal growth and a discourse based on self-confidence and the rationality of the approaches personal.
It is recommended to combine all of the above with an actively accepting style, where instead In trying to change others, the diversity of opinions and ways of acting is assumed as natural. This principle serves as a reference in the field of interpersonal decisions and behaviors, although it is true that it can be complex to establish a clear differentiation between said premise, accepting the diversity of criteria, and relativism, whose recent rise is blurring the distinction between what can be objectified from what is merely subjective.
Bibliographic references:
- Stamateas, B. (2011) Toxic People. Editions B, S.A. (Barcelona).