How to deal with peer pressure: 4 useful tips

The fact of living inserted in a society full of people with different interests and opinions has advantages and disadvantages. Being with others makes us have greater access to resources and information, but it also implies that we adapt to what that the rest expect of us... something that sometimes even unconsciously in contexts in which we give in too much.

Thus, group pressure is one of those drawbacks that you have to know how to deal with when living in society or in groups of people. practically any size, since we are prone to accept the views that the majority imposes on us. us. In this article we will see several tips on how to deal with peer pressure.

• Related article: "What is social psychology?"

How to deal with group pressure?

Although being surrounded by people allows us to reach very good quality of life standards, it is known that there are We have to maintain a balance between what we get from society and what we sacrifice in order to fit in well. she. This can be applied both to society in general, such as in relation to its laws and its norms, as in relation to portions of it: our co-workers, our families, the friends etc

And it is that this balance between the defense of one's own subjectivity and the points of view of those around us I have always been a subject of study addressed by those who are part of the history of psychology.

For example, this is a topic that is of great importance in the theories of psychic structures proposed by Sigmund Freud, according to which Part of the norms and interests of others are internalized by the individual, to the point that he gives in to these elements without realizing it. account.

But Solomon Asch is the most discussed psychologist when talking about the way in which peer pressure affects our lives. This researcher in Social Psychology carried out studies on conformity in which he saw how people have manifest ideas that coincide with those of others simply because many people held them, despite being obviously false.

So, since knowing how to deal with peer pressure has a lot to do with detecting when we unconsciously bow to the will of others, let's see a series of tips on how to combine our own vision of reality with a reasonable respect for the interests of others. the rest.

1. If you can, anticipate what they will say

The first step is to stop and think about the possible arguments (or lack thereof) that others will use to put peer pressure on you. This step is very useful to address the following ones, and in turn helps to prevent surprises from lead to a state of intense emotionality or anxiety that makes us lose control over what we say.

2. Don't be defensive

One of the most common mistakes we make when noticing that there is social pressure directed at us is assume that it is time to withdraw from the conversation or interaction, assume a passive role that does not call attention to attention.

This, in most cases, is a mistake, since it means giving in to group pressure, although not making exactly what others expected of us, at least making our actions inconspicuous, as if not we existed

Instead, what you have to do is redirect that pressure towards those who try to exert it against oneself. How to do it? Let's see it in the following tips.

• You may be interested in: "Antisocial behavior: what it is, risk factors and associated disorders"

3. Question the relevance of those expectations

The first thing to do is to refer in the most concise way possible that what is explicitly or implicitly asked of us is not something that we are obliged to do just because someone wants to. Ideally, this message should be interpreted between the lines, not expressed in an antagonistic or hostile manner, because in this way the burden of explanations falls on the one who exerts group pressure.

For example, if in a group project you are expected to be in charge of writing the longest section, the ideal is not to attack others for trying not to assume part of the effort, but to ask who has decided to divide in that way the parts that each one must do and why you have done it like this, taking into account that the most equitable thing is to establish that division by number of pages, and not assigning sections.

As we have seen in this example, group pressure is dissolved with our request that others be the ones to give the explanations, and we do not have to move until others have made an effort to give a convincing answer.

4. Express yourself assuming that others want the best for you

In this last step, one must assertively express one's interests by speaking as if others take it for granted that your position must be respected. In this way, it will be others who will be forced to adopt an antagonistic attitude, which is often uncomfortable for many people.

Bibliographic references:

• Allport, G.W. (1968). The historical background of modern social psychology. In G. Lindzey & E. Aronson (Eds.) The handbook of social psychology.(2nd ed.) Vol. he.
• Asch S. AND. (1948). "The doctrine of suggestion, prestige, and imitation in social psychology". Psychological Review, 55, 250-276.