How to talk about sex with a teenager?

Sexuality is a very important part of a person's growth; and adolescence, a key stage for their development. It is important to talk about the subject without fear and naturally.

On the other hand, the family is the most basic nuclear group in our society, it is the social group in which that most people develop and establishes an intermediation between the individual and the society. Starting from this, the attitudes and behaviors of adolescents will be largely mediated and determined by the relationships and communication established with their family nucleus.

Risks increase during adolescence, any problem can be of significant importance or repercussion and at the same time the family's capacity for control and influence towards the adolescent is weakened. It is also at this vital stage when, as a result of physical and mental development, sexual contact begins to be sought and the first sexual relations can arrive.

Sexuality is key to the development of identity and it is very important to receive sexual education to establish healthy sexual behaviors that are maintained over time. Sex education is a right according to the World Association for Mental Health, and although institutions are trusted academic to give it to the children, it is important to maintain communication with them and them to be able to deal with these issues with normal.

In this article we are going to discuss the importance of talking about sexuality with adolescent children and we will give some advice to establish a better and easier communication so that it is not embarrassing for anyone to deal with these issues.

What role do parents have in sex education?

However, sex education should not be something exclusive to school. Parents must be adequate attachment figures, which foster in their children the ability to establish healthy bonds with the people with whom they interact. To do this, they must show their children trust, esteem and affection, being acceptable models and giving value to affective bonds and intimacy and egalitarian relationships both in the sexual sphere and in the social.

It is also important to consider parents as protectors of real and imaginary risks, giving the information and ability to their children, for example, to detect abuse or, on the contrary, not to take it to cape. Therefore, in a conversation about sex with a child, Parents must answer their questions, but also anticipate the most important evolutionary events that are approaching the lives of their children.. Healthy childhood sexuality should not be pursued, but should be talked about openly and also deal with the risks it can entail, leaving the door open to ask for help and communicate in case they need it in a future.

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How to start talking about sex with your teen

It may be normal for it to be difficult to start a sex conversation between family members, but what should be more difficult is to avoid doing it. It is easy for sex to appear in many places: news, social networks, advertisements, television series... It can be a good way to use this to start talking about the subject. Some tips to keep in mind:

1. Be careful not to be intrusive

Although you can find connection points to talk about this with your child in television series or movies, for example, make sure if this is a good time to bring it up or if it could make them feel out of place or uncomfortable.

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2. be honest

It is normal that you may feel uncomfortable and it is also a good idea to tell your child, it is It is normal that it is something new for both of you and you can make him feel understood and identified with more ease.

3. Consider their point of view

Let him talk too and don't focus the conversation solely on what you have to say.

4. Do not stay in a single conversation

Don't think that talking about sexuality once is enough.. It is important to leave the door open for your children in case they have more doubts or questions in the future.

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Complicated issues about sexuality

You should know that these conversations can lead to doubts or questions that can be difficult to answer. For this reason, it is important that you find out about sexuality and its forms of expression and, if you do not know how to answer something, do not avoid it or make it up. It is positive to communicate that you do not know about something to learn together. Some topics to address may be:

1. When is the right time to have sex?

Many adolescents may feel confused about when it is "normal" to start having sex. There are many factors such as social pressure or loneliness that influence the decision to start having sex. It is important that you reinforce the idea that the appropriate time to have sexual intercourse is in which you feel comfortable and sure of it, and that there is no problem waiting if you do. prefer.

2. The consent

You must convey to your child the idea that he alone is yes. They should know that no one can be forced to have sex and also know when someone is pressuring them to do so.

3. sexual diversity

It is normal for sexual exploration to lead to considering sexual orientations that are different from the normative ones. It is very positive that you reinforce diversity in your children and that you seek information about it if you do not have all the knowledge. Reacting negatively to these issues can result in fear or rejection of your child towards himself/herself and also towards you. Family acceptance is a very important protective factor in these cases.

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Even if you don't talk about it, sexuality still exists

To finish and as a conclusion, even if you avoid talking about sexuality with your son or daughter, the sex will still be there. Receiving a deficient sexual education can result in an important problem in the integral development of your children.

If you don't help them resolve doubts or feel understood, they will look for information elsewhere, and this can be worse than not talking about it directly with them.