Jealousy between siblings: how to detect it and what can we do?

Jealousy between siblings is one of the main problems in some families in which there are young children. And it is that although childhood is a time of discovery and illusion, it is also true that it is a phase in which the relative irrationality characteristic of minors can be combined with competitive spirits and the need for acceptance and attention, resulting in a mixture explosive.

The simple fact of ceasing to be the center of care from the moment a child is born little brother or sister, sometimes, produces a frustration that is difficult to manage for a child under age. However, sometimes it is not the order of birth that triggers this type of conflict between children, and the root of the problem may lie in self-esteem damaged by other factors.

In any case, it is clear that it is necessary to recognize the symptoms of jealousy between siblings in order to intervene as soon as possible and bring peace to a relationship that should only be characterized by affection.

• Related article: "The types of jealousy and its different characteristics"

Symptoms or signs that there is jealousy between brothers

Every family is different, so to some degree, there is usually variability in the way that sibling jealousy is expressed. However, there are certain dynamics of behaviors that are very frequent when these intrafamily conflicts appear. They are next.

1. Teases at the slightest opportunity

Where there is jealousy between brothers, there is mockery, since these are a way to disguise an attack passing it off as an act of expression of humor.

2. direct attacks

These types of attacks, which consist of actions aimed at causing pain to the other, are more typical of children than of adolescents, although can occur in both age groups. Among boys they are more frequent, and when jealousy is very intense, it is not even necessary that there be an excuse to attack the other.

3. Indirect aggressions: attempts to get your friends to walk away

Indirect aggression is one in which it is attempted that the social circles that serve as support for a person move away from it, leaving her in a situation of relative isolation. This is very typical of siblings who are jealous, especially in the case of girls and adolescents, while boys are more prone to direct aggression.

4. Attempts to get parental attention

This symptom appears more clearly in minors who have not yet gone through puberty, while in adolescents this tends to occur less frequently and more subtly, given that at this stage young people have a model of the ideal self that is relatively self-sufficient and does not need the opinions of parents.

For example, what in childhood may consist of constantly wanting to show drawings and crafts made by the child, in adolescence becomes singing in the dining room in which everyone is pretending that it is only practiced, or start debating about topics that neither interest them nor those that they know a minimum of information.

However, this signal is less obvious than the previous ones, and it has to be analyzed in its context to find out if it really appears because of jealousy.

• You may be interested in: "60 phrases for brothers (tender famous quotes and dedications)"

Tips to prevent or solve the problem

Among the steps to follow to combat jealousy between siblings, the following stand out.

1. spend time

Much of the jealousy arises from the fear of being forgotten, left out by the family. For this reason, it is important to clearly convey the message that the existence of brothers or sisters does not mean that their value diminishes, and since nothing speaks as much as actions, it is best to exercise this affection through everyday shared moments.

2. If a little brother or sister is going to be born, plan the transition

In cases where a baby is going to be born, it is good to prevent problems by explaining that, due to the special needs of That person who will come into the world will have more people pending than those people who have been growing up for a long time. time. To help you in this task, it may be helpful to use photos or videos that show how the little one to whom we are directing our explanations was as a baby, so that he can see how they treated him.

3. Let him tell you how he feels

Not everything has to consist of giving messages unilaterally. Allow it to express itself to tell you about their fears or possible reasons for discomfort. The support is noted both by sharing good times and by being there as support in bad times.

4. Give him a role in raising the brother or sister

If the person for whom he may develop jealousy is younger or of a similar age, It is good to entrust him with the task of helping to raise her. In this way, another meaning is given to the care that the other receives, and it becomes part of a stimulating mission in which, in addition, the little one who before he felt jealous he shares roles with adults (yes, in a much more limited way than these, and adapted to his physical characteristics and psychological).