What to do when a person is Envy of you?

The envy It is an easy feeling to explain and complicated to live. It is defined as a mental state in which there is pain or discomfort for not having what another has. There are many reasons why someone can feel envy, be it material issues, physical and/or emotional qualities, achievements, or events. It could be said that we have all experienced envy at some point in our lives, or even You have had to live the other side of the coin: that someone shows you their envy through words or facts.

Although there are many reasons to feel envy, the reason behind the feeling is always the same.. In general, it is born by a combination between the role of comparison and feelings of inferiority that lead the individual to observe some characteristic in the other person that he does not possess and would like, or at least is not aware of possessing it. When the idea of ​​being inferior to the rest is confirmed by comparison, an avalanche of frustration, hatred and, in the most extreme cases, the desire to humiliate the other arrive.

In this regard, informally many people use the term "good" or "healthy" envy to refer to wanting to have something that another person she has, but with the big difference that the negative feelings disappear and the basis is that the other person deserves what she has and they are really happy thus.

However, in today's article, we will focus on envy that makes us feel very bad and brings negative consequences. If you are interested in knowing how you can know if someone around you feels that way and what to do when someone is envious of youKeep reading and you will find the answers.

How can I know if they envy me?

Perhaps you have ever been able to sense that someone is envious of you but due to the complicated situation that this entails, you have felt confused and you have not wanted to misunderstand. This is completely normal since it is not an easy task to know if someone is really envious of you or if what is happening is the result of something else. Likewise, many times we use the feeling of envy as a wild card in interpersonal conflicts and of course this is not a good practice. Therefore, what are the signs to know if someone is envious of you?

1. makes you feel bad about yourself

Someone with envy would try to hurt you through words or actions before your achievements. It can make you feel guilty or even emphasize that what you got was pure chance or luck. They make you underestimate yourself or feel that you are not worthy of achieving success or good things in life.

2. competitiveness

Those people with envy try to compete with you constantly. For example, you can tell something positive about yourself that the envious person will share something similar or even tell something that seems grander. That is to say, they fit a pattern similar to yours or most of the timeThey try to stay one step ahead.

3. He only tells you negative things

We all like to tell when something has gone well for us or we have achieved a goal. The envious person, instead of being happy with you, will focus on pointing out the disadvantages and negative aspects. It can also happen that the person's criticisms are so subtle that they are made under the effect of good intentions or they congratulate you in a very superficial way. The negative consequences of this means that you unconsciously end up stopping talking about your achievements.

4. imitates you

Envy often leads the person to start acting, talking and behaving like you. It's like he wants to be you. In these cases, the imitation effect is triggered and the resemblance that the person has achieved of you can become uncomfortable.

5. It moves away

Sometimes envious people cannot bear their negative emotion and become cold, have strange behavior and even withdraw. You may get the feeling that you have done something wrong and that because of you they feel offended or angry.

6. envy other people

Look at the conversations you have with that person and if they talk a lot about others in a derogatory way, they may do the same to you when you are not around. The individual who feels envy on a recurring basis usually occurs with more than one person. Follow your instincts and if you have ever felt that the person is not trustworthy since he talks bad about you behind your back, you may be right.

What to do when a person envy you?

It is clear that surrounding yourself with people who are envious of you ends up being detrimental not only for the relationship with said individual, but it can also harm yourself. Throughout life, yes or yes you will have to deal with envious people. Therefore, it is important to know what you can do to try to cope with this situation in the best possible way. The best thing for your personal well-being is to get away and distance yourself from that person since it is something beneficial for both parties. However, we understand that this answer is not easy in all cases. Therefore, here are some guidelines that you can follow:

1. Reflect on what relationships you want to care for

Many times we cling to someone because we have known them for a long time, because we share other ties in common, or simply because we prefer to be with that person rather than be alone.

Knowing where and with whom you want to spend your time is a huge reflection exercise that you should practice. Decide what types of ties you want to take care of in your life and don't be afraid to let go of those that only bring you negativity, sadness and worries. Therefore, we recommend that you be next to those people who contribute to you and you contribute to them.

• Related article: "What is social psychology?"

2. answer with a smile

When an envious person responds with a negative comment to your success, silence, a smile, or responding with humor may eliminate or lessen their envious behavior.

3. practice empathy

It is interesting to try to understand why the envious person is feeling this way. Is it a losing streak? We advise you to practice empathy and try to put yourself in the person's shoes to find out what is really happening behind all those frustrations and hatred.

4. Avoid getting into their game

Even if he tells you negative things, do not try to justify yourself since nothing you say will help him because above all there is a feeling of envy.

• You may be interested in: "The importance of setting limits and its relationship with self-esteem"

5. Do some acts of kindness towards him

Spontaneously try to do him favors or other acts of kindness in order to bring down his envy of you.

6. talk it over with someone else

Many times we see things from our perspective and we may be making a mistake by not having a broader and more objective view of the subject.

7. talk it over with that person

If nothing is working for you, talking about it with the person may be a good option.. However, do not turn the conversation around that he is envious of you since it is very likely that he denies what he feels. Keep in mind that it is one of the sensations that is most censored and repressed on an emotional level. Therefore, whenever he makes a hurtful comment, instead of brushing it off, let it be known without mentioning that he is envious.

Conclusion

In short, envy is a human feeling that we have all experienced in our own skin at some point. The attitude we take towards envious people is important since it can make us solve the problem quickly and efficiently, or on the contrary, it can make the ball much bigger. The pain of an envious person begins when their actions or words habitually hurt you. Therefore, if you have felt identified with this article and do not know how to properly manage the situation, we recommend that you go to a professional. This is because if you don't know how to stop the situation and set the appropriate limits, it can significantly affect your mental health.