Stop thinking about everything: solve indecision and insecurity

Thinking about everything incessantly. Intrusive thoughts about what has happened. How could you have done this better? What will be the consequences? What can be the best option? What decisions to make? Am I doing it well enough? All these doubts and thoughts to finally stay in eternal indecision. Constantly thinking about everything can be a symptom of indecision and insecurity that is worth solving.

Because having doubts throughout our lives is natural, but getting caught up in them limits us and it generates more anxiety and anguish. In turn, this problem is increasingly common and is linked to anxious states, as well as insecurity and fear of uncertainty. Is it really a psychological problem? When it is too intense, frequent or long-lasting, yes, since it leads us to discomfort and indecision.

In this article we are going to delve into why this happens to us and especially how we can solve it in a practical and stable way. To achieve this, it is necessary that this solution be through your own personal learning, in such a way that it helps you to know yourself better and to live and relate with more well-being and security. Let's go for it!

The causes of indecision and insecurity

As we have seen, having doubts or insecurity at certain times in our lives is something totally normal and even practical and necessary. Insecurity is an emotion that reflects fear about your own abilities. This can be useful if you are in a new context, or one for which you do not know all the information. However, when that insecurity and indecision is constant it becomes a problem.

The causes of indecision and insecurity is above all anxiety and our way of managing the emotions we feel (which makes them too intense or frequent).

In turn, the social context in which we live (with increasing uncertainty) generates this greater sensation in us.

My work as a psychologist and coach (you can find me at Human Empowerment) is to accompany people in their personal change processes, so that they achieve the change they need in a practical and stable way. 5 years ago, the number of people who suffered from anxious states was almost 50%. Today they are almost all the people I accompany. Let's see how we can fix it.

• Related article: "The 'analysis paralysis'; when overthinking it becomes a problem"

Factors that lead us to think everything, indecision and insecurity

Although we tend to think that it is the context that makes us think about everything (couple problems, changes in work, breakups, etc.), what we feel is actually a result of how we understand it and we manage. We are going to see in more detail the personal, emotional and psychological factors that lead us to think and doubt everything.

Anxiety

Anxiety is an unpleasant, alert-based emotional state, like a fear that has become generalized.. When we feel anxiety we doubt everything, we focus on what is happening and we fear all consequences. In turn, we breathe quickly and superficially (hence the unpleasant feeling in the chest or pit of the stomach).

Anxiety can be focused (feeling anxious about a specific problem) or generalized (it is frequent, but not too intense). In the latter case it leads us to intrusive thoughts. Thinking about everything and constantly, in such a way that it leads you to question yourself and not decide, is always a symptom of anxiety.

In turn, anxiety is exhausting and can lead us to discouragement. For this reason it is essential that we first work with the intensity of anxiety. When we achieve this, we begin to think more practically and make more decisions.

Insecurity management

Insecurity is a fear related to your own abilities. We doubt that we can face a problem. Although this is sometimes practical, if it is something too constant it leads us to block ourselves.

Managing insecurity, fear and doubts implies that you become constant in how you understand and manage what you feel so that it is functional. When we haven't learned to do it, insecurity becomes too constant.

The great key to this factor is that what we feel is the result of our behaviors and interpretations. That is to say: how we manage it.

Character

Our character (especially if we tend more towards introversion, analytical thinking, deeper and detailed) also you can take them to intrusive thought, but only if it is accompanied by anxiety and a previous dysfunctional insecurity.

The solution is precisely to understand our character and know what we need. Routines, planning and limits help us generate greater security and thus we avoid intrusive thinking more easily.

Solutions to indecision

Solve intrusive thoughts and insecurity thanks to your own change

When we have a previous difficulty managing our emotions, we reach an anxious state and also our context does not make it easy for us (because it generates a lot of uncertainty), we can reach that state where we think everything and do not make decisions.

Solving this problem depends above all on working on yourself, in such a way that this solution is your own personal change and learning. This will help you not only to live with more peace and determination, but also to ensure that this benefit is stable in your life (because it has depended on knowing you).

These are the 5 keys to achieve it:

1. respiratory mechanics

When there are intrusive thoughts or that tendency to think everything, it is a consequence of anxiety. In turn, anxiety is linked to our way of breathing (fast and shallow). An anxious respiratory mechanics leads us to alertness, exhaustion and even feeling short of breath.

Working with a proper way of breathing is an essential step that is rarely treated (in fact, anxiolytics relax the diaphragm, but they do not allow you to do your own learning).

People who begin to work with their breathing see the intensity of anxiety decrease as the days go by. After this, dealing with intrusive thoughts becomes much easier.

• You may be interested in: "The 4 types of breathing (and how to learn them in meditation)"

2. Know you

Increasing your self-knowledge, about yourself, your character, limits and needs, opens doors for you while helping you organize yourself so you are not so prone to doubts.

Our personality is changing throughout life, but the basic tendencies of the character, not. Knowing those tendencies and being able to adapt to you helps you live with more acceptance and confidence.

3. decision making

Making decisions is a process related not only to an analysis, but also to emotions such as fear and insecurity. When we learn to understand and manage those emotions, decision making becomes easier and above all practical.

4. Have an action plan

For the change you need to come true we need to have a 100% action plan. An action plan is an agreement with you where we find the specific and different actions that you need to apply to get out of the loop and live more calmly.

Making an action plan is complicated and for it to really work for you we need expert company. For this reason, we always use a session to work on it and start experiencing changes.

5. constant company

Finally, to overcome this type of difficulties (which happen to us every day) it is important to have constant company. For this reason my way of accompanying is not only with sessions (since it seems to me a very occasional system) but on a daily basis, for any need you may have (with no consultation limit), as well as with weekly steps and sessions.

In this way, we can face what happens at the moment and get changes soon. It also gives us the opportunity to delve into all the parts of your personality (system of beliefs, self-esteem, communication, relationships) so that the learning you do about yourself is deep.

I send you a lot of encouragement, and remember that in Human Empowerment you have the option to solve what happens to you.