Why do I feel like crying? Causes and what to do

Cry. We have all cried at some point, both in childhood and as an adult. Something happens that causes a certain internal tension to arise, our eyes moisten, they fill with tears and finally we burst into tears.

And although for many it is something uncomfortable and is often hidden on a social level, the truth is that we are facing an act that is very healthy and useful for our well-being. Now why do we cry? What can make us want to cry? Why do we sometimes cry for no reason? Let's see it throughout this article.

• Related article: "What's the use of crying?"

Crying and wanting to cry: what happens?

Crying is a complex process, which starts from a physiological mechanism which we have so innate, and that although it is often considered unique to the human being, it is also shared with other animals. However, the fact of crying for emotional reasons is more complex than it seems, since throughout our lives we are learning to cry as a mechanism to release emotional tension: crying with grief, joy or anger are examples.

Although sometimes tears come out of nowhere, as a general rule when we are facing a cry that comes from the emotion the person has previously noticed a sensation generally described as choking or occlusion in the chest or esophagus, as well as difficulties in breathing (there may also be sobbing). That is, it is not uncommon to notice that we feel like crying.

In this process the brain plays a fundamental role, which begins to take shape at the attentional level. At this time, the brain stem, cerebellum and various cranial nerves (III, IV, V and VII). Subsequently, the reticular formation ascending (which controls brain activation) is greatly activated, something that corresponds to the increase in tension and energy that you feel just before you break down in tears. After that, the amygdala, hypothalamus, insula, cingulate and prefrontal, in such a way that the emotion and cognition behind the discomfort is added to said energy.

Cry functions

As annoying and long-suffering as it may be, crying has an important role in our psyche, and it is one that we find beneficial: different investigations reflect that in a large number of cases the fact of crying leads us to alleviate our state emotional, by allowing us to express our emotions and pour out the energy that states of tension and sadness entail deep. They serve to reduce the increase in the energy level that generates intense emotions such as sadness or anger, so that the body relaxes and returns to a more calm and calm state.

Tears, when they are emotional, have a composition that also favors emotional release. Specifically, they help to eliminate manganese, prolactin and potassium chloride, as well as endorphins and analgesic substances. Therefore, substances that can be stressful are expelled, while others are released that help to combat pain and suffering.

In addition to this, it has a function related to socialization: although not always, generally the fact of crying causes empathy on the part of the group, in such a way that the one who cries often receives support and support when being perceived as needy or vulnerable. It also tends to reduce the aggressiveness and hostility of other people, in addition to decreasing sexual desire towards them.

Other types of tears, such as basal tears, serve simply to clean and lubricate the eye.. Something necessary and natural. And in addition, they also clean the eye of irritants and even some bacteria.

Some of the main reasons why we cry

As we already know, for better or for worse, there are many reasons that can lead us to want to cry. Among them we can find both emotional and physical elements.

Next we are going to see some of the reasons, fundamentally those of psychic origin.

1. Traumatic events and/or stressful life events

One of the main causes that make us want to cry and probably the best known of all is through the fact of having suffered some type of traumatic or painful event.

The death of a family member or loved one, a sentimental break, a dismissal, bankruptcy or even a minor problem but that can also cause us suffering on an emotional level such as an argument or not achieving a very dear goal or objective.

2. Physical pain

We also often cry when we suffer some type of injury, blow, break, sprain.... And it is that physical pain is one of the causes that can make us cry.

However, tears of this type usually follow a different process and even their chemical composition is different.

3. Depression

Another of the possible causes that can make us want to cry, even without consciously knowing exactly why, is the existence of a depressive episode (whether in one major depression, Bipolar disorder or other circumstances).

In this case, a sad state of mind is maintained and the inability to feel pleasure, sleep or eating problems, hopelessness or even despair is perceived. In this state it is not strange to cry, although it is also possible that despite wanting to cry the subject is not able to do so.

4. anxiety and stress

The anxiety and stress are other factors that can bring us to the brink of tears. In this case, we find ourselves in a situation where we feel overwhelmed by environmental or social demands.

We believe that we do not have enough resources to face what is asked of us or what happens, and we are invaded by anguish. Our energetic and emotional tone rises, and our body may resort to tears to relieve itself.

5. Anger and/or sense of injustice

Like anxiety and stress, Anger can also be a reason for the desire to cry..

After all, more than one person will have cried with rage. The cause is the same as the one we observed in the previous point: we can find ourselves in a situation that we consider unfair and in the face of which we are unable to do anything.

6. Empathy

In addition to the above, it is necessary to highlight that another reason why we may feel like crying is the identification of suffering and pain in other people. It is possible that we feel like crying when we see another person crying or having a bad time. This is influenced by the so-called mirror neurons, which allow us to capture the emotional reactions of others and even reproduce them.

This situation does not occur only when observing another person suffering, but it can also appear before the visualization of situations that we would consider sad if we lived, or when we see them in movies or novels.

7. Capture of beauty

Although it may not be as common as the previous ones, some people can cry with emotion when seeing certain works of art, be they novels, paintings, sculptures, buildings or movies.

In this case, the reason for the tears is the emotion derived from capturing something that we consider beautiful, although it does not generate sadness per se. This is what happens to people who suffer from stendhal syndrome.

Why do we cry for joy?

So far we have talked about why the desire to cry can appear and we have seen that we mostly do it as an emotional outlet or in response to some aversive event or painful.

However, as many have probably wondered by now, sometimes we also feel like crying when positive things happen: sometimes we cry with joy. Why it happens?

Finding the answer to this question is more complicated than it appears but, according to some research, the reason could be that the body itself tries to self-regulate after being activated by joy or other positive emotions: try to return to a base state through a reaction that reduces the rush of energy that emotion causes. It is therefore, as happens when we cry with rage, of a way to regain balance on an emotional and energetic level.

I want to cry... but I can't

Some people may find that they really want to cry or even want to cry but are unable to. There are many possible causes for this, which can range from brain injuries and diseases of different types (for example, some autoimmune ones) to a much more common one: the existence of a emotional block.

First of all, it must be taken into account that there is no rush: each person processes things at their own pace, and the fact that tears do not come when theoretically they should be respected.

The emotional block

On the other hand, if the impossibility of crying is absolute and lasts over time, it is possible that the causes are due to an emotional blockage. Emotional blockages occur when faced with events or situations that generate great anxiety and suffering, and that appear unconsciously as a defense mechanism to protect oneself from said pain.

However, this blockade prevents or makes it difficult to work and process what happened. These blockages can occur in a normative way, but also in processes such as depressions or post traumatic stress disorders.

The advisable thing in these cases is to first give yourself some time (some situations need time to begin to be accepted as real, as occurs in cases of mourning), and Later, if the person wants to, try to work little by little on aspects related to the cause of said blocking. If necessary first tangentially, to gradually approach the event itself and try to revive and reprocess the situation so that we can process it.

The weight of culture

Likewise, and especially in the case of men, crying has traditionally been seen as a sign of weakness, something shameful. This makes it difficult to express crying in public. But keep in mind that in fact crying in public implies acknowledging the existence of a moment of vulnerability, something that on the other hand can also imply a certain value.

Bibliographic references:

• Miceli, M., & Castelfranchi, C. (2003). Crying: discussing its basic reasons and uses. New Ideas in Psychology, 21(3).
• On the origin of crying and tears. Human Ethology Newsletter. 1989 June; 5(10):5-6.
• Triglia, Adrian; Regader, Bertrand; Garcia-Allen, Jonathan (2016). Psychologically speaking. Paidos.
• Vidales, Ismael (2004). General psychology. Mexico: Limousa.