Why am I unhappy if I lack nothing? The causes of this feeling

It is more common than we think to find people who say they "have it all" and yet do not feel happy.. This in turn causes greater discomfort in the person since he may feel guilty and ends up thinking that there is something wrong with him that he cannot be happy. It also happens that, sometimes, the environment aggravates that feeling of guilt when they make comments like "I don't know what you're complaining about", "but everything is going well for you", "you have everything", etc...

• We recommend you read: "I am not happy with my partner: what can I do?"

Happiness, that unknown goal

But what does it mean to be happy? Throughout time, happiness has been understood as achieving self-realization and achieving our goals.. Also how to fend for yourself and be self-sufficient or how to experience pleasure while fleeing suffering. Nowadays, practically everything that they make us see that has to do with happiness refers to things external to us and mainly material things. And maybe here is the mistake. That we hope that by achieving all these things happiness will come automatically and when it doesn't come we feel that something is wrong and that we are not happy. It is a matter of expectations.

That is why it is important to look within, self-esteem, self-knowledge, to really see who we are and what we want. That's where true happiness is. Erich Fromm said that "if with everything you have you are not happy, with everything you lack you will not be happy either". Researcher Emily Esfahani states that "a meaningful life provides, in the long run, a deeper and more lasting feeling of satisfaction."

And it insists on four elements: belonging and relationships with others, a purpose in life, a coherent story about ourselves and a space for transcendence. Happiness is something dynamic, it comes and goes, which is why it is important to have a meaning to hold on to when things go wrong..

So why am I not happy if I have everything?

The main thing is that everything you have does not guarantee your satisfaction. And all material things are fine, but if we don't have good mental health it will be impossible to be happy. Therefore, if you have everything and you are not happy, you have to do an act of deep reflection on yourself and on your mental health.

1. Your life does not conform to your authentic values ​​or needs

You can have a satisfying lifestyle, have a job but not the one of your dreams, you can have a partner but have deficiencies in the relationship or lack of illusion, that is, you can have many things but they are not adjusting well to your true needs. You may have accommodated or adapted to something that is not what you really want.

2. The expectations

There is an important factor to take into account which is the social and/or cultural factor. What they socially make us understand is happiness and the things we need to achieve it, like being in a relationship, or creating a family, buying a house, or having a lot of money... In this sense, there are already many studies that conclude that money does not bring happiness.

The journal 'Social psychological and personality science' concluded that having access to a greater amount of income is associated with experiencing less sadness on a day-to-day basis, so the results showed that money can be an effective tool to reduce sadness, but not to improve happiness.

3. Self-esteem

From a very young age, they emphasize our mistakes, how to improve or even compare ourselves with others. This entails that an internal dialogue is generated in us that makes us very hard on ourselves and in the end our self-esteem suffers and that is not solved with material things.

4. Lots of stress and little rest

Life goes very fast, we are used to going fast, assuming many responsibilities and taking little rest due to lack of time, personal circumstances, worries... This causes us to normalize very high stress levels and unconsciously take their toll despite having everything.

5. You act by inertia

Sometimes there comes a time when you turn on autopilot, you work by inertia, by routine or by what others want or expect you to do. You stop having the reins of your life, the illusions vanish and you lose control of your life. If you are in this situation, it is important not to feel fear or guilt and start working to feel better about yourself.