Common mistakes of family members of addicted people

The addiction and dependency that drugs create destroys the life of the addict completely. Therefore, it is not surprising that those who live with the person who suffers from addiction are also harmed by this terrible disease. Addictive substances lead to toxic behaviors that represent inconsistent acts and end up sinking both the consuming person and their relatives.

The first shock one suffers upon learning that a family member is addicted to drugs is devastating., since it is difficult to understand how that son, husband, wife, father, mother, uncle, cousin, has been able to pass from being a functional, happy and coherent person to being dependent on a substance without finding a exit. A drug addict's brain negatively interferes with his thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It makes them find themselves involved in a vicious circle where drugs are the protagonist and to get it they steal money, they rob, they enter illegal businesses to get more money, and little by little, they get into situations that they would never have imagined.

• Related article: "Why coexistence is key in the life of a recovering addict"

Common mistakes of the families of people who suffer from addictions

It is evident that all of the above is progressively affecting self-esteem, security, happiness and, ultimately, the mental health of family members. For this reason, all specialists agree that family members need their own therapy, where professionals can help them face the situation and not make certain mistakes in relation to the person addicted In today's article, we will focus on the latter. Next, we will analyze the most common mistakes made by family members or people close to the consumer.

1. blame the consumer

When the problem comes to light, it is common for the drug addict to lie, hide, take offense, or display aggressive behavior. For family members, the consumer's reaction and the situation itself generates a lot of anger and this anger leads them to completely blame the addict. Here come the reproaches, insults and accusations that only make everything worse, since the affected person feels ashamed, pressured and overwhelmed and his response to defend himself is usually aggressive. It is common for them to disappear from home or remain paralyzed without knowing what to do. Obviously, this does not help the person to understand that he has a problem and must be treated.

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2. blame the family

It also doesn't help that fathers, mothers, siblings, uncles, cousins, blame themselves, asking what they have done wrong to deserve this situation. Ruminative thoughts begin about when their relative has become addicted, as they have not realized before and in what part of the education they have been wrong. They blame themselves for being too strict or too soft, not spending enough time, controlling too much, etc. Once again, the goal is to find a solution to the problem and being filled with anxiety and worries about the past only makes family members stagnant and not supportive of the drug addict.

3. Control your whole life

In order to stop the consumption behavior, it is common for family members to take on the role of persecutor so that the individual does not take more drugs. To do this, money is limited and supervised, they are given a time to enter/leave the house, they are continually suspected of validity of his testimony, his room, bathroom, pants pockets, mobile WhatsApp, calls, etc. are searched. etc Although this may seem effective, In reality, it makes the affected person overwhelmed and, above all, not learn to control themselves. and to understand that he must change his routine if he does not want to fall back into drug use. We must remember that we cannot do everything for this person since it is useless. It is the consumer himself who must take the reins of his life and take charge of all the changes that he has to assume.

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4. Force the person to start treatment

Although we repeat a thousand times to the affected person that they must start treatment since we are convinced that she is the only one (unless times last) possible solution, we cannot forget that it is the person who has to agree and be motivated to it. By always insisting or threatening him, we are not going to get the results we want. With this, it only increases the tension, the discussions, the lack of respect and each time a bigger space is created between the consumer and the family member. Once again, the opposite of what we are looking for.

5. Being afraid to be more assertive

People addicted to drugs tend to have aggressive behaviors and for this reason, family members prefer to avoid conflicts and discussions with the person affected. Therefore, when setting a limit or being firmer, they feel scared and prefer to give in to the person's wishes. In order not to generate more tension than there is already at home, consequences are no longer established for certain behaviors or actions. We want to clarify that not setting clear rules and limits is often one of the main reasons why the negative situation worsens.

In conclusion…

If you have felt identified with the article and feel that the situation overwhelms you and you do not know how redirect it, we want to clarify that it is something that many relatives of addicted people experience and not you are alone. There are various resources to learn how to best cope with this situation and therefore, We advise you to get in touch with professional experts on the subject who can listen to you, guide you and advise you. These therapies help to get rid of the feeling of guilt, not to feel judged, not to feel alone and, in short, help to combat negative and destructive thoughts.