What does it mean to be yourself?

You may have ever heard phrases like “be yourself!” or “to like someone you just have to be yourself”, but what exactly does that mean? What is that "being yourself"? Being yourself does not go hand in hand with being selfish, nor does it mean that you do not care about the other people around you. Being yourself means that you like who you are, that you live your life as you would like to live it without being guided by other people's opinions; It means that you respect yourself. Accepting yourself and being the way we are implies accepting that we cannot control the way in which other people perceive us; and that the perception that should matter and influence us the most is our own.

Personality and the way of being are widely studied and discussed concepts in psychology. For this reason, it is not easy to give a single definition of the meaning of “being oneself”. In this article, we will review different constructs that will help us understand what determines the meaning we give ourselves and how being yourself can benefit your emotional well-being and psychological.

• We recommend you read: "Self esteem or self destruction?"

What is personality?

Personality refers to a set of common and stable characteristics over time in relation to the way a person behaves.. These characteristics or elements that remain stable and consistent are called traits, but in addition, personality also includes cognitions, motivations, and affective states. Basically, when we talk about personality, we talk about both observable behaviors and part of the private experiences of each person.

This construct is spoken of as something that distinguishes each person, each one has their own personality because, although there are “marked” types of personality, each person is unique. Each personality is unique because it is built over time based on our experiences and experiences, reflecting the influence on our behavior of psychological, biological and experiential. The sense or meaning of having and developing a stable personality is the successful adaptation of each person in a specific environment.

Basically, when we talk about "being oneself", we are referring to showing others our personality; behave how, based on our personality, we are expected to do so. Normally, positive characteristics or values ​​are attributed to showing oneself as one is. This is mainly because, by accepting your way of being and showing yourself to others as you are, you assumes that you have confidence in your personality, that you like who you are and that you are not afraid of express it.

Next, we will elaborate what self-concept is, the evaluations that a person makes of himself and in what ways he perceives himself, to later enter to understand why we are more socially desirable when we accept ourselves and express our personality without fear.

What role does self-concept play?

Self-concept refers to the set of opinions, concepts or impressions that each person has of themselves.. These opinions develop over time and based on the experiences we have and the relationship we have with ourselves. They are basically the set of perceptions, cognitions and attitudes that people have about themselves. There is talk of different types of self-concepts, because this is not a stable construct but can change over time. time and always determined by the experiences, experiences or social relations to which each person is faces.

As we have commented, the self-concept can be described as a set of different components, which refer to cognitions, affections and behaviors, always in reference to us themselves. The cognitive-intellectual components are basically ideas, opinions and beliefs; affective-emotions refer to the value judgments we make of our own qualities; and the behavioral ones are made up of the set of behaviors consistent with the cognitions and emotions that we feel towards ourselves.

For this reason, and returning to the initial question of this article, when we refer to "being ourselves" and embracing our personality and show it to others without fear of being rejected in some way, a strengthened and positive self-concept of our own way of life is also assumed be. If we do not have an elaborate self-concept that makes us feel secure in ourselves, it will be very difficult for us to want to show ourselves to others as we are., so we will put into practice different behaviors that hide our insecurities and through which we can please more people without having to show ourselves who we really are.

Having a positive self-concept of ourselves is essential for the development of stable self-esteem over time, which facilitates our social life and decision-making. around our personal relationships, in addition to maintaining a healthier relationship with ourselves and not developing maladaptive or harmful behaviors for one myself

Do we like it more when we show ourselves how we are?

As we have previously elaborated, socially the idea has been built and maintained that being oneself is the easiest way to like other people or to present oneself as someone desirable. Basically, and returning to the concepts previously elaborated, a person who accepts her personality and externalizes it to others others without fear of doing so, shows a strong and worked self-esteem, which indicates an equally strengthened selfconcept.

Usually, We find people who are self-confident more attractive and feel like having relationships with them because we feel that by showing yourself in such a sincere way to others, it is most likely that you will also be honest with us in our relationship and/or communication, and accept us in a more simple. Confidence attracts, and there is nothing more secure than being comfortable with the person you are and showing it to others without fear or panic of rejection.

Ways to accept yourself

In this last section, we are going to propose different ways of accepting oneself so that, with personal work, we dare to "be ourselves". ourselves" in most areas in which we develop and can develop a positive and benevolent self-concept and self-esteem towards we

Remember that this is just some practical advice. If you feel excessively worried about this matter and you don't feel that you can express yourself as you really are in no context of your life, it may be a good idea to seek help or support from a health professional mental.

1. Self-awareness and self-pity

It is impossible to accept oneself without developing self-awareness. Self-knowledge basically refers to the ability to reflect on who we are, our strengths, values ​​and beliefs.. By doing this, we can recognize and accept our imperfections and quirks, and it will be a starting point on the path of self-compassion; treat each other with kindness and reduce criticism of ourselves.

2. work self esteem

As we have discussed, accepting oneself is linked to having a healthy self-esteem. To strengthen it, it is important to recognize our achievements and positive qualities, instead of constantly buying ourselves with others or being very critical or harmful towards our mistakes. Techniques for self-esteem work are positive self-affirmation or recognition of merits, for example.

3. Accept your mistakes and learn from them

It is essential to learn that we all make mistakes in life, and learning to accept them is vital for personal growth. Rather than punish ourselves for them, it can be very valuable to view them as learning opportunities, prompting us to improve and grow. Acknowledging our failures is part of practicing self-compassion, and it encourages us to improve and grow. The most important thing about making mistakes is thinking about how to fix them and recover from them.

4. Take care of emotional well-being

When we accept ourselves, we are taking care of our emotional well-being. It is positive that you ask yourself that if you would never speak so badly about a friend or a person you love, why should you treat yourself so badly or avoid accepting yourself? Taking care of our emotional well-being involves paying attention to our emotions and needs, and taking steps to satisfy them.

This can include developing practices and activities that bring us joy, surrounding ourselves with supportive people, and seeking professional help if necessary. Taking care of our emotions, we prioritize our own well-being, so we also work on our self-esteem and give value to ourselves; We accept each other in all our facets.

5. practice authenticity

Accepting who we are implies living in accordance with our values, showing authenticity. Rather than trying to fit into external expectations or norms, it is important to allow ourselves to be true to ourselves. This means expressing our opinions and feelings genuinely, even if they differ from those of others or are not always consistent.. Practicing authenticity means accepting your mistakes and your changes, and ultimately accepting who you are and embracing your personality.

6. celebrate your individuality

As we have mentioned before, each person is unique. We all have something to offer to the world and to ourselves. Accepting and celebrating this individuality is essential to stop comparing or repressing the way we are. Recognizing this uniqueness allows us to appreciate our strengths and helps us develop greater confidence in ourselves.