How to deal with the stress of not getting pregnant?

Although the first image that usually comes to mind when we think of a pregnancy is that of a mother together with her partner, united and happy while waiting for a child, this does not conform to what tends to happen in the reality. And it is that such idealization does not illustrate the prelude to motherhood, what precedes gestation: It is time to consider what consequences it could entail when deciding to have a son or daughter before giving the passed.

This process is not rosy, since it requires weighing different issues such as pondering to what extent the arrival of the new boy or girl will modify the daily life of their parents, how it will affect their jobs, their hobbies or even their economy.

Thus, this perspective brings to light the contradictions that are part of the planning process. being parents and that, however, are not illustrated in the romantic image that we pointed out with anteriority. Once these difficulties have been overcome, among the invisible problems that the When couples finally take the step of looking for a boy or girl, specifically mothers, it is feel

high levels of stress from not getting pregnant despite wanting to. In this article we will develop the different aspects of this topic.

• Related article: "Perinatal psychology: what is it and what functions does it perform?"

Not being able to get pregnant and its relationship with stress

First of all, it is important to point out that the scientific literature around the relationship between the experience of having difficulties getting pregnant and stress is vast. Studies tend to focus on infertility—this does not mean that everyone who has difficulty conceiving a child is infertile—but that However, these are investigations that emphasize the following idea: the obstacles that these couples go through go beyond infertility as a condition medical. In other words, Not being able to have a child is an experience that has a profound impact on a person's life on a psychological level and on their relationship as a couple..

This is because the impossibility of beginning a new stage in your life implies the frustration of a personal and shared project for the future, giving rise to uncertainty and new insecurities; in short, making this situation a stressful experience.

In addition, stress is not reduced to the exclusive fact of not getting pregnant but to the treatments that exist for infertility in case of having it. It's no news how painful this process can be for a couple. In general terms, couples who find it difficult to have children present an increased level of anxiety, have negative effects on the relationship and sexual functioning in the couple, as well as decrease the self-esteem of both. On the other hand, studies generally agree that women tend to perceive greater stress from the infertility experience than men, even when the diagnosis is not directly attributed to them.

This could be based on the fact that there is still a strong mandate that dictates the it must be mother within Western societies, which substantially harms not only women who have difficulty getting pregnant but also those who do not want to.

• You may be interested in: "Types of stress and its triggers"

What to do when faced with excessive stress from not conceiving a baby?

Something important to clarify is that feeling stressed in this situation is completely normal and to be expected. In itself, stress is normal, because if we did not have the ability to perceive a threat or danger in the environment that surrounds us we could not make decisions according to the circumstances before which we we face. In fact, it is also expected that the couple presents even other types of emotional responses, such as anxiety, fear or sadness because of the obstacles that are standing between them and the project they want to achieve.

The important thing is not that the situation does not affect them, but rather that the way they cope with stress is enough to accept the situation that causes discomfort. It is vitally important to take this into account since currently, from scientific psychology, it is not possible to affirm that emotional or psychological conflicts have a causal relationship with the infertility; but what is within the field of action of people is to put into practice different ways of dealing with this stressful situation. And it is that, in addition, putting stress coping strategies into practice may not only help to make more conscious decisions, but also It has been shown that they can improve the well-being perceived by both parents and prolong the permanence of the treatments for the infertility.

• Related article: "Psychological problems derived from infertility"

Techniques to cope with stress

At this point, it is essential to underline how important empathy and mutual accompaniment of the couple are, as as well as the closeness of the family network and friends or the support of a health professional mental. For our part, and in line with the above, we propose a series of stress coping techniques for critical moments What a woman can experience by not getting pregnant.

• Communicate and express emotions with someone you trust: This can be particularly helpful carry it out with another person who is going through or went through the same condition to share experiences.
• Practice techniques focused on focusing attention on the present moment, such as Mindfulness practices or techniques based on it, such as body scan or body scanner.
• Exercise or play a sport.
• expressive activities such as writing or journaling, singing, dancing or drawing. This could serve to alleviate some intense emotional states, particularly if developing creativity and expressiveness is valuable to the person.

• Go to psychotherapy, with a professional specialized in the subject capable of providing support and accompaniment.