Learning to love ourselves radically: how can it be achieved?

My client Lucía was a happy and creative girl. She loved to paint, sing and dance, she expressed herself freely with joy and limitless imagination.. However, as Lucia got older, she began to pay more attention to outside expectations. At her house they told her to stop painting, that most of the painters are poor, and that she should stop singing because she was out of tune.

She danced very well, she was sure of that, but no one encouraged her. She was told over and over again that she should act like her sister that she was "educated and a good student" and that in this way she "would have a secure future." Those external voices were undermining her self-love and clouding her perception of herself. The spark in her began to languish, she left her passions, and she began to struggle to fit in and meet the standards that were set for her.

Many people, like Lucía, carry beliefs that embarrass us and that make us feel insufficient.. This impacts our self-esteem and makes us doubt ourselves. Like Lucía, many of our stories originated from childhood or adolescence experiences, and/or from family, cultural, and social conditioning.

These factors may have caused us to internalize negative ideas about ourselves, such as “that what that we are good at it, it does not work in work environments" or "that it is difficult to enter certain groups and be valued”. This makes it difficult for us to accept ourselves, to embrace ourselves as we are, and to love ourselves radically.

Unfortunately, our inability to do so can create a self-concept fragmented, that is, it is not faithful to the truth, and biased by the voices to whom we have given authority. As a result of so much self-rejection, we become our own worst enemies., being more prone to self-criticism, self-judgment and feelings of inferiority.

What does it mean to truly love each other?

Learning to radically love ourselves is a lifelong journey that requires our constant reflection, self-compassion, and inner work.. The latter involves questioning and challenging our limiting beliefs and adopting new empowering perspectives.

It is also important to note that loving ourselves radically is not selfish or indulgent, but rather a deep and genuine self-care that will enable our growth, healing and well-being in general. When we can radically love ourselves, we shift the focus of attention from outside to inside and, consequently, cultivate a sense of self-worth independent of external voices and factors.

On this path, we are going to have to encourage ourselves to disappoint others when not doing so implies self-betrayal. Loving ourselves radically requires that we cultivate a positive and nurturing relationship with ourselves, being loyal to our wants, needs, and possibilities. How can we begin to love each other radically?

1. Accepting that perfection does not exist

You probably have standards for yourself that are way above what is possible in real life. I'm not telling you to settle, just give your best, let go, and trust. Above all, recognize yourself as human, with the complexity that this implies, and infinitely deserving of love.

2. Nurturing relationships where you can be authentically you

Surround yourself with people who celebrate you and vice-versa, with whom you can calmly establish limits, communicate your needs openly and interact from a position of integrity and mutual respect. Leave the circles where you have to twist to be accepted.

3. list of your strengths

Making a list where you can give thanks for your strengths and your achievements, and taking note of the areas in your life where you commit to your well-being. This will promote your self-awareness, self-compassion, and a deep connection to your inner wisdom..

4. mindfulness

Practicing Mindfulness, or full attention, to be able to observe your thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations without judging them. This awareness will help you recognize self-critical or self-devaluing patterns. Mindfulness will help you to put a distance between you and what happens to you, and to act with discernment afterwards.

5. Replacing self-criticism with a self-compassionate self-talk

Reframe negative self-talk with affirmations that are compassionate, uplifting, and respectful of who you are. When you face mistakes or setbacks, offer yourself love and forgiveness instead of punishing yourself..

6. celebrating your achievements

Recognize them no matter how big or small they are. Take note of your progress and give yourself credit for your efforts. We are quick to criticize ourselves and slow to pay attention to what we are doing well.

7. The reflection journal

Keeping a journal where you write and make personal reflections. This action fosters introspection, which is a bridge to connect with your innermost self and to develop a deep understanding, acceptance, and love for who you are.

conclusions

Remember that radically loving ourselves is a continuous process that requires patience and tenderness. Our self-love and self-acceptance are our birthright. Don't let anyone take them away from you. We ourselves are the first to internalize this truth. Seek professional help if necessary. Sometimes our issues are so deep-rooted that we need the support of someone who can provide guidance and with whom we can unravel and elaborate our most underlying challenges.