How to identify the Lack of Self-esteem in Children?

The self-esteem It is a question within psychology that arouses more and more interest in education on the part of parents. It is something that is beginning to have a lot of weight in the homes since parents are increasingly aware that patterns of self-esteem begin very early in life. After all, a good self-esteem constitutes a strong armor that protects the child and future adult from the adversities of day to day.

The awareness or concept we have about our own value varies depending on the character of the person and the environment in which it develops. Having a good self-esteem is of the utmost importance since it makes us happier and we can relate to the people around us in a more pleasant and assertive way. In short, it improves our quality of life and therefore, it is the job of parents to work on it from a young age. With this, it is possible to avoid serious problems such as depression, anorexia, shyness or drug abuse in the future.

There are certain clues that we can identify that warn us of a possible low self-esteem of our children. It is very difficult to detect a lack of self-concept in children since most of the time they camouflage it with other behaviors or actions. In today's article, based on the opinion of experts on the subject, we will talk about the different signs that we must take into account to be able to

recognize a lack of self-esteem in children. If you're worried about your child's sense of self-worth, stick around to find out.

• Related article: "Children's therapy: what is it and what are its benefits"

Signs that can hide low self-esteem

That self-confident, competent and valuable child denotes good self-esteem. These infants enjoy learning and do not feel inferior when asking for help. They tend to be responsible children, with good communication and their interpersonal relationships are adequate. On the contrary, children with low self-esteem do not trust themselves or others. They feel inferior and are shy, critical, uncreative and may even develop aggressive behaviors that result in social isolation. No parent wants this last scenario for his child, so here are some signs that highlight a child's possible low self-esteem:

1. almost constant sadness

A child with low self-esteem is usually sad most of the time even if he doesn't know how to answer why. It is as if nothing motivates them and they are "absent". It seems that they are apathetic towards certain activities that the rest of their classmates like to do. In this case, parents should serve as support and guide for their child to find the path of something he likes. It doesn't have to be academic. We are all good at something. Whether it's a sport or something creative, parents should be in charge of pushing the skills of this child.

• You may be interested in: "The 8 types of sadness: characteristics, possible causes and symptoms"

2. few social relationships

They have a hard time relating to children their age, therefore they have few or no friends. They prefer to be alone as they do not understand the pleasure of having fun while playing with their peers. Behind this, there are fears and insecurities and of course, low self-esteem.

3. Aggressiveness

These children do not understand how they feel and have very little ability to properly manage their emotions. Therefore, they resort to aggressiveness as a method of defense. They are children who hit or insult their classmates and therefore, this causes them to isolate themselves and have no interpersonal relationships.

• Related article: "The 11 types of violence (and the different kinds of aggression)"

4. Dependence

Children with low self-esteem are often very dependent on their parents. They prefer to stay at home with their parents than go out to the park with peers their age. Usually, they are infants with little ability to make decisions, they are very indecisive and therefore, they turn to their parents to solve all kinds of situations.

5. Pessimism

"No" is the star word in the vocabulary of children with low self-esteem. They are often reluctant to try new things because they feel they are going to fail and prefer not to try.. Phrases like “I don't know how to do that…” or “I already told you I didn't know how to do it because we've tried…” are typical.

6. Shyness

They are children excessively shyThey find it hard to meet new people or deal with new situations. They feel comfortable in their everyday life and do not enjoy at all when something goes out of their comfort zone. Shyness in children to some extent is understandable and normal, however, when it interrupts their social relationships, we are talking about a serious problem.

7. Fear

A child with low self-esteem may be very careful and not overly adventurous.. They are afraid and feel insecure in many situations. This is clearly seen when a child with good self-esteem does not even think twice when doing something new since he feels carefree and safe.

8. perfectionism

They present a high self-demand and do not allow themselves to make mistakes. If they do not do things perfectly, they feel that they are not doing them well and that they are not worth it. Never being satisfied with your results shows a lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem.

How to improve a child's self-esteem

If you have detected some of the signs described above, keep reading; Here are some tips to improve the self-esteem of a boy or a girl.

• Allow your child to make important decisions so that he can assume responsibilities and gradually learn to cope with the consequences of his choices.
• Spend quality time with him where you can do activities that he enjoys and he can feel successful. Experts recommend fun activities where there are neither winners nor losers. Dedicate time and interest to your son so that he feels supported and loved. Take care of close family relationships so that your child feels part of a stable and solid family unit.
• Teach your child to praise himself. Tell him how proud he must be of himself and how much he must love himself. This is something that children see in their parents too, so be careful how you treat yourself.
• Do not expose your child to adult conflicts that cause stress and anxiety. Your job is to provide your child with stability, security and tranquility that do not go hand in hand with adult stress.
• Communicate regularly to your child how much you love him. It does not serve only through actions. Verbally express how important your child is to you. Children need to hear phrases like “I love you”, “I am so proud of you”, “You are the best I have”, etc.

First of all, you must be clear that gaining good self-esteem in children takes time. Therefore, we invite you to fill yourself with patience and continue with the process in a stable and continuous way. If you see that the issue is beyond you, we recommend that you put yourself in the hands of a professional who can help you psychologically to cope with the long process that this entails. Remember that the most important thing is to try to help your child feel good about himself and, consequently, about the people around him. He always tries to convey the message that he loves him and above all, that you trust him.