4 dangerous lies we tell ourselves every day

No one likes to be lied to, but realistically, all of us, at some point in our lives, have lied. This is what a book called “Liespotting: Proven Techniques to Detect Deception”, which was written by Pamela Meyer. In its pages there appears an investigation that concluded that people lie between 10 and 200 times a day, since many times we tell only part of the truth. We are social beings, and we tend to adapt many phrases to what is considered socially acceptable..

In another book, the professor of Psychology at the University of Massachusetts, Robert Feldman, explains that “We tell between two and three lies in the first 10 minutes of a conversation with someone we have known for a long time.” bit". According to Feldman, lying often occurs to protect our own self-esteem.

Several dangerous lies we tell ourselves every day

Taking Friedman's statement into account, people often deceive themselves to keep their self-esteem intact. But, What are the lies we tell most frequently in our daily lives?

1. I'll leave it tomorrow

This phrase is often applied many times, for example, when a person is a smoker and knows what the negative consequences are for their health. Smokers, despite knowing that smoking harms them, continue doing so. The case of smokers is a classic example of cognitive dissonance, a much-studied theory that is defined as the anxiety, tension or discomfort that a person experiences when his or her beliefs and attitudes conflict with his or her behaviors. This anxiety causes the person to deceive themselves to reduce discomfort.

“I'll leave it tomorrow” is a way of not having to make a decision at that moment even though we see the negative consequences of our action.. In the case of smokers, you can see in television advertisements that smoking causes cancer, respiratory problems, chronic fatigue and even death. In addition, images and a clear message appear on the tobacco pack.

Despite these messages, the smoker continues smoking despite knowing that he should be healthy and that this drug harms his health. Cognitive dissonance studies show that people avoid these types of anti-smoking messages and even justify themselves with thoughts like: “I will have to die of something.”

• If you want to know more about the theory of cognitive dissonance proposed by Leon Festinger, you can read our article: “Cognitive dissonance: the theory that explains self-deception”

2. I start tomorrow

The “I start tomorrow” is a classic of those people who have the habit of postponing their tasks or activities without any valid justification.. This is what is known as procrastination, and it is more common than it seems. In fact, a survey of 1,347 subjects showed that one in four had a strong tendency to procrastinate. The study also concluded that there are no significant differences between men and women.

Another research that tried to find out how much a person procrastinates found that employees, on average, postpone their main task for an hour and twenty minutes each day. In the case of students, 32% are susceptible to carrying out this habit, according to a study by Patterns of Academic Procrastination.

Depending on the situation, “I'll start tomorrow” can cause serious problems, for example, stress when tasks pile up. On the other hand, this phrase is also typical when a person has serious difficulties in starting to do physical activity, so his health will also be affected.

• You can learn more about this phenomenon in our article: “Procrastination or the “I'll do it tomorrow” syndrome: what it is and how to prevent it”

3. Life is rosy (false optimism)

Optimism can be a great virtue when it comes to living a happy and fulfilled life, because optimistic individuals see the good side of life and the positive, instead of dwelling on the negative. Optimistic people usually do not compare themselves with others, they are realistic, they know how to motivate themselves, they enjoy the present, they know what they want, they have high self-confidence, they ignore criticism, they are in control of their life and they are honest with themselves themselves.

But this has nothing to do with false optimism, which is pretending to be an optimistic person and believing that life is rosy. False optimism is a mask that prevents us from reflecting on life and avoiding making committed decisions.. False optimists are not honest with themselves, they are not in control of their lives and they are not realistic either.

• Related article: “11 characteristics of optimistic people”

4. Wanting is power

“Wanting is power” is an excellent motivational phrase that can help many people achieve their goals.. But this phrase should not be used literally, because it is not always true that you can have everything you want or get where you want. When we set goals and objectives, they must be realistic, otherwise they can lead to frustration and discomfort.

Imagine someone who has a problem with their voice and wants to be a singer. This phrase is fine when a person has potential and talent that he can develop. In other cases, where it is impossible to achieve the objective, the alternative is acceptance. Of course, the key is to detect what we are good at and then it does make sense to apply this motivating phrase.

• Related article: “101 motivational phrases to focus on success”

What is the brain of a liar like?

These lies or self-deceptions are quite common among the population, however, some people are compulsive liars. Scientific studies have shown that the brain of a liar has some characteristics.

• You can find out more in our article: “The lying brain: do we really know why we do what we do?”