This is how FOMO prevents you from taking advantage of free time

Social networks put us in a place of permanent connection. Let's imagine the situation of a family dinner: a long table where cousins, siblings, aunts, even grandparents, are all eating next to their phones. It is not necessary that they be using them to account for the indistinction between the real world and the virtual world to which the massive distribution of new technologies has led us. There is always the possibility that the phone vibrates because we have received a notification or that an unexpected call rings. Mobile or cell phones always make us available in the virtual world, so they can break into our face-to-face ties at any time.

This dynamic between two planes has given rise to different phenomena that are linked to the way we relate to others. In digital media (but also in scientific knowledge) new constructs have been developed to name the experiences to which social networks have given birth. Some terms we use refer to the way in which people establish emotional ties. Many others allude not only to the way we love, but also how we fear. Among the latter we have FOMO—an acronym that responds to

Fear of Missing Out or “fear of missing out”—so in this article we will develop what this term refers to, how it affects interpersonal relationships and, above all, How can it prevent you from taking advantage of your free time?.

FOMO: what is it?

FOMO translates as the fear that some people develop of “being left out” or “missing out.” It is an apprehensive feeling that responds to the possibility that other people are living gratifying and/or rewarding experiences in which one is absent.

We could argue that FOMO has existed since the beginning of social time, since The fear of being left out of group activities could ultimately lead to a fear rooted in ensuring the survival of our species.. Thousands of years ago, human beings needed to bond with others in order to develop strategies together to hunt, look for food, protect ourselves from extreme temperatures and predators and to reproduce ourselves.

That is why today some authors place FOMO as a phenomenon linked to social anxiety. However, this meaning of the term could be somewhat erroneous. Let's see a little more about it.

• Related article: "FOMO syndrome: feeling that other people's lives are more interesting"

FOMO in the light of screens

Definitely, in FOMO an inherent fear of human beings is at play: the fear of being rejected; to not belong. However, this phenomenon can only be conceived under the blue light of the screens of our mobile devices. We know that social networks offer a multiplicity of resources and formats through which we can connect with others without too many difficulties. Some authors maintain that Participation in virtual worlds requires a much lower admission cost than face-to-face, that is, insertion into social groups and online communities is simpler, faster and more immediate than face-to-face. You just need to create a profile, a name or alias and that's it, You are inside.

The point is that, just as social networks involve us in that “inside” with high efficiency and few difficulties, They also provide us with an absurd endless number of opportunities for social interaction, unfathomable for any human being of flesh and blood. bone. As if we didn't have enough, every day there are more social networks and more applications to connect (which, if you don't use them, you run the risk of stay out). More options are transmitted than can be realized; They occur simultaneously, without restrictions on quantity or time. With this scenario, people who suffer from FOMO feel overwhelmed by the number of events and situations in which they could be participating but are not.

• You may be interested: "Addiction to social networks: the abuse of the virtual"

How FOMO affects how we manage our free time

Scientists agree that those who experience FOMO tend to gravitate toward social media more often than people who don't. This is because evoking the virtual world serves to appease, at least temporarily, the fear of being left out. Social networks operate as mediators between what some authors call “psychological needs deficits” and the need to relate to others. In other words, social networks are a limbo that allows us to strengthen the same social ties that the person fears will break.

However, the risk of FOMO lies in the fact that going to social networks permanently as a The way we always stay in touch with others can affect how we distribute our time. free. Turkle points out that the technology that always puts us in communication could distance us from social experiences in the here and now; That is, it has the high cost of investing too many hours on our screens instead of strengthening those social ties that we do consider meaningful to us.

In short, we know that the overuse of social networks could be related to higher levels of isolation, anxiety, depression and be linked to a greater tendency to suffer from insomnia and physical conditions linked to overexposure to screens. Although using our devices is not in itself something negative or dangerous, FOMO ties us to the world digital so that we can lose sight of what is truly important in our lives. lives.

Therefore, the key is to think about the following: What is the valuable thing we miss out on by spending too much time on social media due to FOMO? Our free time is usually a time in which we can carry out a lot of activities—hobbies, sports, rest—that represent or materialize something valuable to us. What is significant and what is not depends on each one: it could mean being creative people, taking care of our health to spend more time with our children, to explore the world... Free time is one field among many others in which we can move towards the life we ​​want to live, and we should not let FOMO prevent us. that.