Do I always have to be happy?

In this article, we will understand toxic positivity as that philosophy of life that promotes obligatory positive thinking, demonizing certain emotions and thoughts that we consider unpleasant, such as anger or sadness, and trying to cover them with thoughts and emotions positive.

As you can imagine, emotions, like the rest of the abilities and qualities present in animals, also have a function. In this case we could say that they are sensors that give us information about the environment, how much we are adapting to the situation we are experiencing, our needs, etc. Therefore, just by looking at the general idea of ​​this toxic positivity we should already realize that This way of trying to face life seems to be wrong, but... How does it affect us that it is currently so present?

• Related article: "The 5 principles of Positive Psychology"

Effects of toxic positivity

To begin with, continually refusing to recognize unpleasant situations, emotions and thoughts will be part of an evasion of them and will help us show a positive face. "perfect" that helps us have that image that we think others expect of us, that we like to show, but that prevents us from connecting intimately with the people in our circle. around.

The truth is, Being constantly vigilant to suppress those unpleasant emotions consumes a lot of energy, exhausts us, and prevents us from learning from situations and developing a skill as important as resilience.

By not allowing ourselves certain emotions or thoughts, it is impossible for us to use emotions with their original functionality, that is, as sensors that send us totally necessary information about what is happening. And therefore it will be much more complicated for us to adapt optimally to the situation we are experiencing and to get along a lesson for the future, since all our efforts will be aimed at repressing the emotions that are surfacing.

Furthermore, by depriving ourselves of those important learnings that we must do when facing certain problems present in life, we also reduce our ability to face and solve problems.

Although this philosophy of life does not seem particularly useful, we are currently surrounded by it. And on social networks we live in a world of perfection, fun and happiness. When entering the profile of a public figure, a friend or acquaintance, we might think that he or she has a perfect life, unlike us. We reward content that shows only happiness and fun and we want our real life, the one outside the networks, to be the same as the profile of the people I follow. This promotes the rejection of unpleasant emotions that I may feel in my daily life, it is possible that I may even feel bad or anxious about being feeling them, and with it the thought that "I should only focus on the good" or that "if I only think positive things I will attract them" will become more and more strong.

This whole situation that we are experiencing in our society not only makes me repress certain emotions and thoughts, but when I experience them I feel that There is something that I am not doing well or that I should not feel that way, which is generating guilt and anxiety (unpleasant emotions) that I will try to repress again. This circle will repeat until the person feels that they can't take it anymore, that they are empty or disconnected from themselves.

• You may be interested: "Emotional management: 10 keys to master your emotions"

Symptoms of toxic positivity

I am going to leave you some signs so that you can recognize if you are using this thought in your daily life instead of accompany you and understand you in situations, emotions or thoughts that, despite being unpleasant, are part of our life:

• You ignore when your body activates emotions such as anger or sadness with statements that minimize what you are experiencing "it could be worse"
• You use phrases/affirmations that help you minimize the problems of others and you push them to think positively in situations where they express displeasure.
• You feel guilty for feeling certain emotions that you consider make you weak.
• You mask how you feel from the gallery and, sometimes, even from yourself.
• You ignore situations that make you feel angry or any other unpleasant emotion.

Concluding…

Remember that emotional maturity involves knowing how to accompany ourselves in difficult situations and learning from them.

I recommend that if you are feeling that you are overwhelmed emotionally or that you have difficulty identify how you feel, seek the help of a professional to help you know yourself and take care of yourself emotionally