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The 90 best famous phrases of Woody Allen

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If we name a living legend of the seventh art that has managed to stand up through time, that is Woody Allen, who has been a recognized actor, director and screenwriter who has left behind works that have moved and amused more than one, winning in the process different awards for his talent. Without a doubt, one of the most prolific filmmakers in the history of cinema.

  • We recommend you read: "The 75 best phrases of Stanley Kubrick"

Best Woody Allen Quotes

Born as Allan Stewart Konigsberg, Woody Allen also leaves us great phrases from his films and his authorship to reflect on the life that we will show you below.

1. It is important to have a good time, but you also have to suffer a little because otherwise you do not get the meaning of life.

A way of telling us that, to appreciate the joys, you also have to live the sadness.

2. The heart wants what the heart wants.

Sometimes the heart is stubborn.

3. If human beings had two brains, we would surely do twice as much nonsense.

A reference to the level of human stupidity.

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4. Only exist two important thing in the life. The first is sex and the second I don't remember.

Always joking about sex, which in his day was a strong taboo subject.

5. I am interested in the future because it is the place where I am going to spend the rest of my life.

An excellent reason to look forward, rather than cling to the past.

6. If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

There are times when the best-developed plans don't happen.

7. The advantage of being smart is that you can pretend to be a jerk, while the other way around is impossible.

Benefits of being smart.

8. All men are mortal. Socrates was mortal. Therefore, all men are Socrates. Which means that all men are gay.

A somewhat particular reflection.

9. The sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. The sun, milk, red meat, the university ...

Don't listen to negative criticism from others, not even your parents.

10. A successful film is one that manages to carry out an original idea.

Your opinion on the triumph of a movie.

11. Sex without love is an empty experience. But as empty experience is one of the best.

From the bad, something good comes out.

12. I think there's something out there watching us. Unfortunately I think it is the government.

Opinions on the watchful eye of governments.

13. I'm ugly enough and short enough to make it on my own.

It may seem derogatory to itself, but we can take it as a reflection to know that our weaknesses are not an impediment to success.

14. We fall in love. Well I fell in love, she was just there.

A very common and sad situation in love.

15. Do you want to contribute something to humanity? Tell funnier jokes.

People appreciate laughing.

16. Some marry in the Church; others, for idiots.

Not all marriages indicate that they will have a happy ending.

17. Standing in a garage does not make you a car, just as standing in a church does not make you a Christian.

What makes us what we say we are are our actions.

18. Most of the time I don't have a good time. The rest of the time I don't have a good time.

A negativistic view on how we spend it in life.

19. Love is the answer, but while you wait for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.

Sex should be seen as learning, a special moment that you share with someone special.

20. I love him like a brother: like Cain to Abel.

Not all siblings really love each other.

21. I was in the living room, I heard you were drowning, I finished my tea with pudding and I came at once.

Sarcasm about giving importance to something urgent.

22. Masturbating is making love with the person you love the most.

Masturbating brings many personal benefits.

23. Actually, I prefer science to religion. If I am given a choice between God and air conditioning, I choose air.

Your opinion on science and religion.

24. If my movies don't pay off, I know I'm doing something good.

Your particular opinion regarding the success of your films.

25. I don't believe in life after death, but just in case I take a change of underwear.

Do you think there is life after death?

26. I don't know the key to success, but I do know that the key to failure is trying to please everyone.

A very valuable lesson to ponder.

27. People want a fictional life and fictional characters in a real life.

We always dream of a perfect life that does not fit our reality.

28. Brain? It is my second favorite organ.

Intelligence is also attractive.

29. It was partially my fault that we got divorced… I had a tendency to put my wife on a pedestal.

Sometimes we idealize someone so much that we do not owe their defects and we let them pass us by.

30. Sex is the most fun you can do without laughing.

A great insight on sex.

31. I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want.

An important point that we must all be clear about.

32. Is sex dirty? Only if done right.

Why are there so many negative stigmas about sex?

33. Things are not said, they are done, because by doing them they say themselves.

An action is worth a thousand words, after all.

34. It is not bad that your father and I disagree, democracy is that. He defends the right wing of the Republican party and I think you have to be completely crazy to do it, but ...

A fun way to see democracy.

35. If Jesus comes back and sees all that has been done in his name, he would not stop vomiting.

There is no doubt that the fanatics have taken their cause too far, under the guise of doing it in the name of God.

36. On bisexuality: Immediately double your chances for a date on Saturday night.

A hilarious way of looking at bisexuality.

37. Money does not bring happiness, but it provides such a similar feeling that you need a highly advanced specialist to verify the difference.

Money is very important to have a quality life.

38. I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

A sample of what the actor thinks of death.

39. They called me crazy... but it was me, yes I, who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and a taste for politics.

A strange mix that seems to work for Allen.

40. Fear is my most faithful companion, he has never tricked me into going with another.

Fear lives with us, but we must not let it control us.

41. For you, I am an atheist. For God, the faithful opposition.

Talking about atheism.

42. I hate reality, but it is the only place where you can have a good steak.

Many times the reality is not as we wish it were.

43. If you are not wrong from time to time, it is that you do not try.

Getting it wrong is a natural part of life and the road to success.

44. I did not marry the first girl I fell in love with because there was a religious conflict between us. She was an atheist and I was an agnostic.

There are irremediable differences that do not allow a couple to stay together.

45. Life does not imitate art, it imitates trash television.

An unfortunate truth.

46. What if nothing exists and we are all in someone's dream?

A thought worthy of the Matrix.

47. I keep wondering if there is life beyond death. And if there is, will they change it to a 20-turkey bill?

Could it be that life after death is like everyday life?

48. Feeling guilty is important. I feel guilty all the time and have never done anything.

Guilt is a heavy and unnecessary burden.

49. Gossip is the new porn.

Gossip can ruin a person.

50. Eternity is long, especially at the end.

Maybe we are not made to live forever.

51. Curiosity is what kills us. It is not the ozone layer, it is our hearts and minds that are hurting us.

There are those who instead of using technology to do good, they use it to destroy the planet.

52. I am a great lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Touching yourself helps you have a better intimacy with your partner.

53. I don't know how to drink… My body doesn't tolerate alcohol. I drank two martinis at the end of the year and tried to hijack an elevator and take it to Cuba.

An exaggerated story but that shows the actor's intolerance to alcohol.

54. The force of your thoughts and the reflection of your actions are the signature that you leave in this world.

So carefully analyze the footprint you want to leave.

55. His transformation into a rabbi is so real that some sectors suggest sending him to Devil's Island.

Talking about the darkness that reigns among the priesthood.

56. I am a person of healthy life and habits.

You are?

57. I know I don't deserve the Prince of Asturias, but neither do I deserve the diabetes I suffer from.

Complaining about his illness.

58. The vocation of the career politician is to make every solution a problem.

Instead of being the reverse.

59. The ability to be happy is appreciating and liking what you have, rather than what you don't have.

Appreciating and being grateful for what we have changes our perception of the world.

60. When I was kidnapped, my parents jumped into action. They rented my room.

Another funny sarcasm about the little importance we give to urgent matters.

61. I do not want to achieve immortality through my work, but simply by not dying.

The memory that we leave in others is important, because it overcomes the time barrier.

62. People should mate forever like penguins or like Catholics.

Talking maybe about monogamy.

63. -Believes in God? "I can't even take the leap of faith to believe in my own existence."

Another reference to atheism.

64. I'd rather be cremated than buried, and both to a weekend with my wife.

Why be with a person who can not stand?

65. When I was little I wanted to have a dog, but my parents were poor and they could only buy me an ant.

Every child's dream of having a dog.

66. There are millions of books on different subjects written by great minds and, in the end, none of them knows more than I do about the great questions of life.

Each one acquires his own knowledge about the life he lives.

67. When I listen to Wagner for more than half an hour, I want to invade Poland.

One of his comments on politics.

68. He is a wonderful boy and a wonderful doctor. He never lost a patient. He got two of them pregnant, but he never lost one.

Double morality.

69. This year I am a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?

It is important not to take things for granted, because everything can change.

70. I am not good for life, I am only good for art and to entertain people.

Your purpose in this world.

71. I'm in charge of my house, but my wife makes the decisions.

A fun way to portray life as a couple.

72. If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.

What would you do if you could see God in front of you?

73. You only live once, but once is more than enough if done right.

So don't waste your time on things that make you unhappy.

74. First he becomes a murderer and now he becomes a Christian. I do not know what it's worst. What have I done to deserve such a child?

Children do not always follow the path that parents want for them.

75. - You have a problem to commit yourself: you did not know if you wanted to be a psychoanalyst or a writer. –And I made a commitment: I became a writer and a patient. They all say I love you.

A reference about abandoning his career to do what he loved to do the most.

76. Not only of bread the man lives. Every now and then, you need a drink too.

We need many things to live.

77. What I hate the most is that they ask for forgiveness before stepping on me.

A show of pure hypocrisy.

78. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.

A classic joke.

79. Sex relieves tension. Love increases it.

Is this true?

80. Only art is controllable. The art and masturbation. Two fields in which I am an expert.

Her ironic opinion of art.

81. The two most beautiful words in our language are not "I love you!", But "It's benign!"

Referring to receiving the news that a cancer is benign.

82. I took a speed reading course and was able to read 'War and Peace' to myself in twenty minutes. I think it said something about Russia.

Things when rushed never bring good results.

83. Don't think of death as the end, think of it as an effective way to cut your expenses.

A fun way to see death.

84. I read in self defense.

Reading brings us multiple benefits.

85. When I was a student, I was kicked out of school for cheating on the Metaphysics test. I looked into the soul of my deskmate.

A particular way of confessing that he copied his partner's exam.

86. If God only gave me a simple sign, like making a deposit in my name in a bank.

Exaggerated signals that we hope will arrive.

87. The heart is a very strong muscle. It really is.

Do not underestimate the strength of your heart, but yes, always take care of it.

88. Obsession is the most dangerous of human weaknesses, and the most foolish.

Obsessing ourselves can cause us a lot of problems.

89. Does the hell exist? God exists? Will we resurrect after death? Ah, let's not forget the most important thing: Will there be women there?

Questions we ask ourselves about the afterlife.

90. How do you want me to forget you if when I start to forget you, I forget to forget you and I start to remember you.

It is not always easy to forget someone important.

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