I feel inferior to others: what happens to me and how to solve it?

Feeling inferior to others can be a fleeting sensation or a permanent condition. In either case, it is a situation that must be fought, since living with this constant feeling slows down the possibilities of personal growth.

Although it is something that happens to many people, it is usually a topic that is rarely discussed and less openly. This is because it is difficult to accept that you have this feeling of inferiority, so it is important to know what happens to us psychologically and how to solve it.

• Related article: "The 15 advantages of being an empathic person"

Why do I feel inferior?

The feeling of inferiority has various causes. Understanding the possible origin gives us an accurate picture to be able to take action on the way to solve it. The first step is to recognize yourself in this situation and have the determination to want to change it.

A self-examination of conscience, a journey through our own history, an open and willing attitude, can help us help find the answer to the feeling of feeling inferior to others, know what happens and how fix it.

1. A past with traumatic experiences

Feeling of inferiority can be traced back to childhood. Do a little analysis and remember if during childhood there was this feeling of being inferior to the rest. It could have happened that in the family environment itself greater emphasis was placed on defects or that there were many comparisons with siblings or children of the same age.

This could have diminished, from an early age, the security and self-confidence, normalizing an attitude of continuous comparison with other people with the feeling of “never measuring up”. An episode of bullying or some type of abuse, be it short or pronounced, could also have generated that feeling of insecurity.

2. Being in a stage of intense pressure

During a high-pressure episode, your self-confidence may feel impaired.. Either due to physical and mental exhaustion or due to stress To achieve goals, being under a lot of pressure can make the person feel in a state of inferiority from which it is difficult to get out.

This is because the mind begins to exhaust itself and to perceive everything with a certain negativity. However, it may have more to do with the fact that what we want to achieve requires all our effort, and the anguish of not being able to achieve it absorbs us. A promotion at work, a professional exam, or being in competition with other people to get something are common examples of this negative environment.

3. Living in a toxic relationship

Spending a long time living in a toxic relationship leads to insecurities. Live closely and continuously with a person who hurts us begins to make a dent in our personality. It is common that, in this type of relationship, one or both people involved make continuous attacks highlighting the defects and mistakes in the other.

This can be aggressive and very obvious, or it can be with "disguised" comments, that is, passive-aggressive. Comments like “don't be stupid, you can't do something like that” or “better not try it, it's clear that you don't you will get ”they generate a feeling of inferiority that ends up taking over who receives these comments continually.

4. Negative environment and with lack of recognition

There are environments in which it is not customary to celebrate achievements, and this affects its members. A workplace where bosses are governed by sanctions and few or no recognition can generate in its members a feeling of dissatisfaction and even inferiority. The same occurs in family systems where there is so much rigidity that it is only demanded, but no achievement is rewarded or recognized.

After spending prolonged time in environments with these characteristics, people may begin to feel inferior to the rest. Above all, if there are members whose efforts are recognized and there is a real grievance with the person affected. Working for a raise, promotion, or recognition and failing to do so after several attempts causes a feeling of inferiority that can be profound.

5. Extreme competition

Developing in situations of extreme competition has an impact on feeling inferior to the rest. It may be that, in the face of job loss, the search for a new opportunity becomes difficult in the face of the country's own economic situation. This makes it an extreme competition that often makes it difficult to find a job.

On the other hand, a sports or recreational environment can become a highly competitive environment where its members have forgotten that the important thing is the route and not the goal. This results in a great pressure to achieve excellence, but at the same time it can generate feelings of inferiority by being continually exposed to criticism, competition and the possibility of not achieving the objective.

How can I stop feeling inferior to others?

Stop feeling inferior to others is possible. There are tools and alternatives that can help us face situations that reduce our self-confidence and that lead us to feel inferior to the rest.

It is important to take action and find the strength to do so in various alternatives. Just wanting to stop feeling like this is not enough. You have to get down to work to stop feeling inferior to others.

1. Leave the past behind

It is important to understand that what made us feel inferior is in the past. If your family history or going back to your childhood made you understand that the origin of your insecurity is there, it is time to solve it and leave that feeling in the past. There are many alternatives to heal that history and prevent it from continuing to affect you.

It may be a good time to choose some type of psychological therapy that can help in this. The past must be left behind, although I may have defined what you are today, it is also true that what is important is what you do now with yourself and your situations. Therefore, erasing from your mind what was recorded at that moment will go a long way to remove that feeling that does not do justice to who you really are.

2. Become aware of perfection

Neither we nor anyone around us is perfect in everything or all the time. When we feel inferior it is because we tend to lose perspective on things. Those who apparently do things better than us seem to be perfect. Or it also happens that we feel that what we do well we could do better and we feel dissatisfied.

While there are always opportunities for improvement, a healthy balance must be maintained at this point. You have to understand that we are not always going to be the best in what we like and what we do. These capacities must be carried out and lived, for the pleasure of doing them and not for the irrational need to achieve perfection. Making mistakes of all kinds is absolutely normal and we must accept that this makes us human.

3. Objectively visualize your flaws and virtues

Making a list of our weaknesses and virtues helps us put things in perspective. As long as we feel inferior to others, it will surely be difficult for us to do a long list of virtues and we will find ourselves before an endless list of defects. However, this is a necessary exercise that requires objectivity beyond the emotion that dominates us at this time.

As an objective we must consider being able to list the same number of virtues as defects. After this, we must continue until the qualities overcome the defects. This will help us to have a perspective that we have a lot to offer but we are having a hard time being aware of it because the feeling of inferiority is flooding us. We must continually remind ourselves of these virtues, and hold them in high esteem.

4. Identify the people or environments that harm you

Sometimes, We do not realize that those around us hurt us. As mentioned above, it may be our environment or the people we live with, who may be reinforcing our feeling of inferiority without us noticing. That is why it is so important to identify if there is an external source that is leading us to this sensation.

Once you have identified this, it is time to strengthen yourself and act to prevent this from further undermining your security. You can make several strategies. Either that as far as possible you take physical distance or that you strengthen yourself emotionally to face people and situations without being damaged and with diminished insecurity.

5. Drop the comparisons

One of the things that most damages self-esteem are the comparisons. Although it seems a very natural behavior in the human being, it is something that we can and must do without. From a very young age we are exposed to comparisons, and this is something that marks our behavior and our being.

This is why we must stop doing it. To make it, we must understand that our strengths and weaknesses make us unique beings, and that we all have fears and anguishes, dreams and longings, and that makes comparisons or establish who are better or worse, so there is no point in continuing to do so, because it ends up harm us.

Bibliographic references

• Bunge, M. and Ardila, R. (2002). Philosophy of psychology. Mexico: XXI century.
• Triglia, Adrián; Regader, Bertrand; García-Allen, Jonathan (2016). Psychologically speaking.
• Tubert, Silvia (2000). Sigmund Freud: Foundations of psychoanalysis. Argentina.