Philosophobia: what is it and how to overcome the fear of love

We would like to be able to affirm that all human beings, to a greater or lesser extent, are in our own search for love, wanting to find our partner and fall in love. But this is not entirely true, because there are people who are afraid of nothing more and nothing less than love.

Philosophobia exists and it is just that, the fear of falling in love. People who suffer from it can feel all the symptoms that any phobia can cause us, but when they feel that they are finding love. We will tell you!

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What is philophobia

As it sounds, Philosophobia is the intense and irrational fear of falling in love and bonding or emotional ties to the other person. In this sense, it would be easy to say that we all suffer from philophobia to some degree, since falling in love puts us in a vulnerable situation that we can be afraid of and from which we can flee if we do not feel prepared for it love. But this has more to do with our degree of emotional maturity and the way we experience our feelings.

With phobia it is different, because those who suffer from it, feel all the symptoms that a phobia brings with it to the being exposed or linked to a love situation. Phobias generate in us a fear or fear so intense that, when we find ourselves in front of that which scares us so much, we activate all our defense mechanisms; Whether it is a phobia of spiders, airplanes or love as in philophobia, our being reacts in defense to that which we fear so much.

This is why falling in love can be for some the most wonderful and joyful experience that we may have, but for people with philophobia the experience is totally the opposite, a terrible feelings of discomfort, anxiety and stress both emotionally and physically.

To such an extent that philophobia can have a very high impact on the social life of the people who suffer from it and on their emotional system, since when it reaches its highest levels, people with philophobia not only avoid romantic relationshipsbut also ties with your family and friends.

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Symptoms of people with philophobia

To the fear falling in love and being romantically attached to someone else, the symptoms of people with philophobia have to do with putting up a barrier that separates them from others. In this sense, people with philophobia speak very little about themselves to avoid involvement, they try not to really show themselves as they are, they live short relationships without commitment and in some cases, they maintain relationships with several people and at the same time with none. Your emotions go up and down, like a roller coaster.

The symptoms of people with philophobia also appear physically, as with other phobias, and usually happen when they are in front of a person who attracts them physically and emotionally, as well as when relationships attempt to advance to a higher level of commitment. In these cases, severe sweating, changes in breathing and heartbeat, shortness of breath, gastrointestinal disorders and the common symptoms of a panic attack coupled with an intense desire to run away from it. situation.

Contradictory as it may sound, what happens with people with philophobia is that, despite their fear of fall in love, they can't avoid contact with other people 100% nor can they avoid at the same time fell in love. When this happens, your the fear is that your partner will leave you; hence their fear of falling in love and the barrier they put up in front of others.

This is why part of the defense mechanisms is the walking away when they feel the relationship is going in a more serious direction, provoke disputes so that the other person ends the relationship and look for endless defects in the other person to justify the impediment they have to go further in their feelings.

How to overcome philophobia

Philosophobia can be overcome, but it completely depends on you, as a person with philophobia, do your best to overcome it, as it is a work of your emotional and nervous system that no one can work for you, more if guiding you on your way to do it. Start by seeking help, because you can overcome philophobia and fully experience something as beautiful as falling in love.

There are different methods of psychological support with which you can treat philophobia. Affective desensitization therapy is one of them and is the one used with different types of phobias. With this type of phobias, your therapist exposes you in a real or virtual way to what scares you, in this case falling in love, until it becomes desensitized.

You can also opt for a cognitive therapy in which your therapist will guide you so that you can recognize and understand the mental process that you are doing to feel that fear.

There are also other methods such as Neurolinguistic programming and other more holistic means to help you put an end to philophobia once and for all.

The important thing is that you ask for help, because any type of phobia and even more so with phobia, you have ties that do not let you live freely and fully happy. Thousands of people have already recovered from philophobia, so don't be afraid to face it.

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