Self-esteem: what it is and 4 keys to increase it

It is true that many aspects of our life improve if we have better self-esteem. Relationships as a couple, the way we get along with co-workers, and all of our bonds are strengthened when our self-esteem is where it needs to be. However, self-esteem is not an easy task.

The truth is that everyone talks about improving self-esteem, but how do we achieve it? There are small things we can do every day to increase our self-esteem, but first you must be clear about what it means to have a good self-esteem. We will tell you!

• Related article: "The 4 types of self-esteem: definition and characteristics”

What is self esteem

The clearest way to define self-esteem is as the way we value ourselves. It is an attribute that all human beings have, but it does not remain constant throughout life. Self-esteem is transformed according to our experiences and that is why it is so important that we exercise it constantly.

Self-esteem is that self-image we make of ourselves, that is, the way we see ourselves and how we evaluate the different aspects of our life: the characteristics of our body, our way of being and our character. That self-image of which we speak, we elaborate it from our thoughts, beliefs and the idea that we have of who we are; but above all, of the love, acceptance, respect, trust, satisfaction and security that we feel for ourselves.

In any case, our self-esteem is always stimulated in a positive or negative way depending on the way we relate to the worldespecially with the society we live in. This is why we must not forget that self-love and self-esteem are the fundamental pillar of our well-being, but that is fed by the way in which we relate to our environment.

We are all free to decide if we do it from a positive or a negative place, but just in case, we teach you to do it from the positive.

How to achieve self-esteem

Here are some tips to start on the path to self-love and that, no matter how small, will radically change the perception you have of yourself. Exercises that you can practice daily to increase your self-esteem and that they will make you feel better about yourself when you least realize it.

1. Let's talk about the idea you have about your body

As we explain, our self-esteem depends so much on our relationship with ourselves as well as our relationship with our environment. In this sense, the most common aspect in which our self-esteem is attacked is our body, because unfortunately our society has filled us with head of ideas about a beauty standard that does not contemplate women's bodies, but seeks a more profitable way to consume and generate more money.

The truth is that we coexist in this society and here the question that arises is how do we speak to our body? Almost all women are looking only at all those things to improve our body; We have them completely clear in our head and we regret that our body is not in such a way. With this way of thinking, all we do is throw our self-esteem down, every day without stopping.

This is why our first tip to improve self-esteem is to change the way you see and speak to your body. Regardless of whether you want to lose weight, gain weight or improve any discomfort, change the way you talk to yourself and your body, because the truth is that the way we communicate completely changes the perspective. Do the following exercise every day:

Every morning stand naked in front of the mirror and look at yourself completely; in the meantime, tell yourself out loud or in your mind that you are beautifulGo over each part of your body with your gaze and acknowledge it, tell it that it is beautiful, that you love it, even the parts that you don't love so much. When you get to those parts that generate conflict, tell them that they are beautiful and then look at the part of your body that you like the most and notice how beautiful and complete you are.

Doing this exercise every morning will positively change your perception of your body and it will help you increase your self-esteem. Now when you have one of those "I have cellulite, I hate my legs, I'm fat" moments, take a deep breath and change your words to "I have cellulite and I am very beautiful, I hate my legs and I have a spectacular waist, I am fat and I am beautiful, I love my eyes." Thus you begin to find balance between your negative and positive words, and to increase your self-esteem.

• Related article: "35 'body positive' phrases to love yourself and your body”

2. The way you refer to yourself

Another fault in which we usually fall is in the words we use when talking about ourselves and especially with ourselves, always judging, criticizing and blaming us. We can be our worst enemy.

Even in the simplest things we must speak to each other in a positive way so that our brain makes positive connections and let's improve our own perception. So instead of saying "I'm stupid, I forgot my keys" we can change to "I left my keys, sometimes I'm forgetful."

When you start doing it and become aware of the words you use to address yourself, you will notice that most of the time we talk to each other with disqualifications. Put this exercise into practice and if the first few times it is difficult to change the negative words, correct yourself: “How stupid I am, I lost the keys! Well, I'm not stupid, I only kept the keys ”. With the passage of time you will realize the wonderful result that this has on your self-esteem.

3. Your achievements and your defeats

Another area in which we tend to fall, and with it our self-esteem, is the moment when we have achievements or failures, but especially with the latter. There begins a whirlwind of judgments, guilt and disqualification towards ourselves, without saying when we begin to compare ourselves with others.

It begins by understanding that all people in this world have our moments of glory and others that are a little more complicated to go through; sometimes we achieve things we want and sometimes we don't. The important is the way we manage our achievements and failures, because losing sometime does not mean that we are less or that we are worth less.

When you are facing a difficult situation, the kind in which nothing seems to go right, instead of sinking deeper with your words and thoughts every time something negative pops up on you, immediately think "I haven't gotten the promotion this time, but I have achieved all these things". Remember all the good you have done, as far as you and your genius have taken you and do not let yourself be overshadowed by bad thoughts. It is a simple chip change that helps us improve self-esteem, focus on the positive and not the negative.

4. Who are you asking to measure your worth

Finally, it is normal that many times we find ourselves in vulnerable situations in which we do nothing but compare ourselves with others, to reproach ourselves and simply throw our self-esteem to the ground. Also in those vulnerable moments we ask others to value us and define us, and nothing is further from self-love than this.

It happens a lot for example when we are dating guys and wanting to find a partner. Out of nowhere we start dating a guy we like and he disappears. Our first reaction is to think "what's wrong with me, what have I done or why doesn't he like me", but why are we allowing may he be the one who determines our value?

It is in these moments when we must breathe deeply and think about all the things that make us wonderful and remember that just because that person has not seen them, he does not mean that we are not.

When we start to focus on the positive, we are the ones who determine our worth and we do not allow circumstances or people to bring us down just because they prepare us for our greatness. This is when self-esteem comes out triumphant. Although it does not always come out the first time, the work of thinking about it and trying to change it is the most valuable step to improve self-esteem.

• Related article: "How to love yourself? 6 tips for self-love”