The 4 differences between jealousy and envy

Jealousy and envy are natural emotions in the human being.

The first thing to understand is that we have all felt one or the other at some stage in our life. You do not have to be ashamed or blame, but you do have to understand what they consist of and why they appear.

There are substantial differences between jealousy and envy. Although they seem to be the same, in reality each of them defines a different feeling, circumstance and reaction. We explain what these differences are to help you identify between both emotions.

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The differences between jealousy and envy

It is not the same to feel jealous than to feel envy. Just as it is not the same to be a jealous person or to be an envious person. That is, both feelings can occur to all of us at specific moments, and that does not make us define ourselves as jealous and / or envious.

However, there are people who do present a repeated attitude of jealousy or envy towards those with whom they live on a daily basis. This can lead to pathologies,

that is why it is important to understand the differences and characteristic traits of envy and jealousy.

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1. Definition and concept

To understand the difference between jealousy and envy, you have to know their respective definitions.

From the very meaning of the words that each of these emotions have, we are giving light that each of them expresses different situations, reactions and feelings, and therefore at the same time there is a whole particular context that define.

TO. Envy

Envy refers to the negative reaction that someone has for not owning something that another does.. This reaction can be sadness, anger or frustration and it manifests itself when we want for ourselves what someone else has. Although it does not only refer to the possession of material objects, there is also envy for achievements, relationships or friendship, or other intangible things.

B. Jealousy

Jealousy is the feeling produced by the idea of ​​losing something valuable to us in the hands of someone else. It refers above all to losing the affection or love of those whom we love, but because a third person appears. Jealousy not only occurs in relationships, it also occurs with friends and family.

2. Reactions and emotions

The reactions and emotions that cause jealousy or envy are usually different. Due to the very nature of these emotions, each produces a reaction as a consequence of the feeling. That is, while jealousy is manifested with fear, envy usually generates anger.

Behind the jealousy there is insecurity, and this is based on the excessive fear of losing the loved one and the reactions They can be from sadness, anxiety, anguish or reach violent attitudes that range from yelling and complaints, to assaults physical. When jealousy is experienced by children or adolescents, it is necessary to help them with the management of this emotion to make them regain the security of the love of their parents or family.

On the other hand, envy produces sadness or anger for not having or believing that you cannot have the same thing that another person has and that we would wish for ourselves. Although the daily reaction to the feeling of envy is anger, there are also people who present depressive pictures.

In addition, this can lead to a decrease in self-confidence when feeling incapable of being able to obtain what is desired.

3. What causes them

Another substantial difference between jealousy and envy is what causes them, that is, the causes. As already mentioned, there are very specific characteristics that define in which cases the emotion is envy and in which other situations it is jealousy. Each one is caused by different circumstances that are very easy to identify.

What causes jealousy is the uncertainty of losing the affection of someone we love due to the possibility that someone else will replace us. For example, children feel that they lose their parents' love when a sibling arrives or if they see them being affectionate towards someone else. The same goes for your partner or friends. That is, jealousy is caused by the relationship or closeness of our loved ones with someone else and the insecurity we have in the face of this.

Instead envy is caused by frustration at witnessing that someone has something that we want. If a person obtains a triumph or recognition, she is the possessor of something material, or of a lifestyle that we want, if she has a partner who we would like to have or have some physical attribute that we do not have, then a feeling of frustration is caused and later from sadness or anger on different levels.

4. Pathological

Jealousy and envy can lead to a pathological attitude. When any of these emotions exceed the normal parameters and negatively take over people, the risk of developing pathological jealousy or envy that goes beyond a mere passing sensation normal in any being human.

This is a substantial difference between jealousy and envy. "Unhealthy" or pathological jealousy is more common than pathological envy. When a person's security and self-esteem are deeply affected, the feeling of jealousy is magnified and they overreact. That is, the feeling of jealousy does not remain sad in the face of uncertainty, but rather the person begins to take hostile and even violent actions.

Although envy can also develop unhealthy pathological attitudes, these rarely reach such harmful levels as in the case of jealousy. The person who is envious may feel tormented by the feeling of frustration, and far from finding the right ways to achieve what he would like to have, he focuses his energies on taking away from someone else what generates envy.

This dynamic becomes complex and undoubtedly affects the emotional stability of those who live with this constant feeling of envy.

Bibliographic references

• Clanton, Gordon; Smith, Lynn G. (1977). Jealousy. New Jersey: Prentice-Hall.

• Klein, Melanie. Envy and gratitude (1957). Buenos Aires, Paidos.

• Mathes, Eugene (1991). "A Cognitive Theory of Jealousy". The Psychology of Jealousy and Envy. New York: Guilford Press.

• Parrott, W. G., & Smith, R. H. (1993). Distinguishing the experiences of envy and jealousy. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.