What is emotional intelligence and how can we train it?
¿Emotion and intelligence?
They do not seem to be concepts that work well together., because we tend to see them as enemies rather than as allies who empower each other. This is due to the fact that we perceive intelligence as synonymous with logic and reasoning, which does not seem to be precisely related to hand with emotions that makes us more sensitive to everything and somewhat impulsive, sometimes carrying emotional charges powerful.
However, did you know that this is because we do not know how to train our emotional intelligence? That's right, emotional intelligence allows us to access our ability to feel without having to overflow all the time, thus helping us to better face and cope with stressful situations, to reduce stress of daily life and to express ourselves, verbally and sentimentally in a more assertive and functional way.
Still hard to believe this? Then keep reading this article where tand we will tell what emotional intelligence is all about and how you can be able to train it for everyday use of our life in general.
What is emotional intelligence?
It is a psychological concept created and developed by the psychologist Daniel goleman, which affirms that emotions are part of our being, it is one more characteristic of our cognition and behavior, so it is inherent in the way we live our daily lives and understand the reality that surrounds us and us themselves.
Therefore, it is important to create a space for their study, understanding and training, since from that form we can maintain an intrinsic ideal balance with respect to what we live in space extrinsic.
In addition, it is the best way to know ourselves completely, since it is our emotions that influence greater measure in the way we perceive the world around us and how we end up seeing ourselves themselves. Although we know that this is also influenced by experiences, it is not what we live but what we feel when we go through it what remains in our mind echoing throughout the weather.
The importance of our emotions
In addition to the above, we can affirm that the importance of emotional intelligence lies in its adaptive power. That is, if we can understand ourselves, we can understand those positive and negative emotions that a particular environment or situation generates for us. In the same way, we may be able to have a better understanding of the emotional state of others and sharpen our responses to the demands or obstacles of the world around us.
As you can see, giving the necessary value to your emotions you may be able to have more effective social skills, functional and even simple. Which in turn will allow you to avoid stress to the unknown, make convenient decisions, be able to evaluate and choose beneficial interpersonal relationships and find your strong voice to communicate with the world.
Ways we can train emotional intelligence
Training emotional intelligence is easier than you can imagine, you just have to keep in mind to have one open-mindedness and a willingness to make some adaptive changes to your routine, like the ones you'll see continuation.
1. Start reflecting on yourself
Perhaps this is the first step you must take to start training your own emotional intelligence. It is about generating awareness and sensitivity about what is happening in your life at the moment: ‘What are the emotions that more predominate throughout your day? ’‘ What actions or situations trigger those emotions? ’‘ How do you get them out of your chest?'.
This will help you to more clearly visualize the way you perceive the world and your ability to relate to it.
2. How well do you control yourself?
One of the things that is always promoted in psychology is not to suppress your emotions, but many can easily confuse this premise with a justification to ‘explode’ at any time and situation in the everyday life. When in reality this impulsiveness is not synonymous with emotional expression.
The idea is that you can express your feelings and opinions assertively, that implies knowing how to react to the stressful stimuli that generate that emotional tension. Are you one of those who acts before thinking or analyzing the situation first?
3. Practice active listening
Surely when reading this you may think ‘I know how to listen to others, I do it all the time’ but active listening is more than just listening, but about being attentive to the complete language of a person. That is, we can express ourselves verbally very easily, but the way we say it, our gestures and comfort is what can ensure that we are being honest with what we say and how we feel when respect.
So how can we train active listening? The first step to do this is to talk to the people around you and pay attention not only to the words you use but to your non-verbal language: are you smiling? Are you tense? How is your tone of voice? Is your tone weak? Does he look you in the eye or does he look away? How are their gestures?
The second step you must follow is to remove all prejudice from the matter while the person is speaking, this is so that your personal beliefs do not alter what the person is saying. Finally, when giving your opinion, avoid disqualifying or judging them, seek to empathize with their emotions and offer practical solutions to their problem.
4. Focus on solutions
It's okay to cry, it's okay to get angry, it's okay to get frustrated, it's okay to feel stressed, but what definitely not okay is that you get stuck in the same problem turning it around like a circle endless. That only results in a host of negative emotions and derogatory thoughts towards yourself, which prevent what you can concentrating on other issues in your life weaken your performance and confidence in your abilities to deal with other situations.
Think about this, what is the use of thinking about the same problem over and over again? Isn't it better to fix it and bury it in the past? Instead, focus on thinking what do I need to do to solve it? Is it within your reach or do you need help? What is the most viable path? And above all, what did I learn from this? This way you will not only avoid falling into a similar situation, but you will also be able to better face the obstacles to come.
5. Observe your perception of the world
We know that not all circumstances are the most ideal for your personal development, however, there are people who Even if they constantly change their experience or terrain, they still have difficulty growing, so what is it that they happens?
This may be related to the way they perceive their world, which can be so dark that it prevents them from adapting to it and therefore they do not feel that they have the opportunities they deserve, when in reality they are the ones who sabotage themselves by not accepting the changes that occur in a way natural. Has this been your case?
6. Put your life on paper
One of the best ways to train emotional intelligence, so to know ourselves is to see our life and in what way can we see our life? Well, through recreational and creative activities that allow us to keep a record of all our daily experiences.
Some examples of this can be:
A diary of emotions, where you tell your life from your point of view without keeping anything and then analyze your reactions, performance and interactions every day.
An emotion evaluation table, where you can place your mood, predominant emotions, positive and negative aspects of yourself for the day, etc. in a table to see the magnitude of them during the day.
Apply the wheel of life technique, which consists of putting your priorities in perspective, as well as the objectives you want to meet and the needs you want to satisfy. To do this, draw a large circle which you will section with each area of your life (work, relationships, leisure, friends, hobbies, family, etc.) and you will give each one a score from the most important to the least dedicated.
7. Potentials vs limitations
Knowing ourselves does not only imply highlighting our strongest points, it is also about evaluating the weaknesses that we have in order to improve them. However, analyzing what we are not so capable of can be painful and difficult to face, but instead of demotivating yourself, think of it as a personal challenge to overcome.
Nor do you underestimate your potential, many tend to believe that they are not good at almost anything, when it is not true. The way we solve problems, how we help others, the ability to organize and putting priorities, using creativity, etc., are great strengths that help us at all times.
So take a moment to analyze what your strengths Y weaknessesIf this is a bit difficult for you on your own, then you can ask for help from your friends or family. This helps to have a different perspective on yourself and increase your confidence.
8. The motivation of the small details
Demotivation is very common in our life, it occurs when we feel overwhelmed with obligations, when we see ourselves pigeonholed in a monotony, when we do not obtain good immediate results or when the routine settles in the same way.
But it is necessary that we find the impulse on our own to get ahead, after small daily actions that keep our interest and taste in what we do awake. For this you can use:
Motivational notes throughout the house.
Create a list of curiosities that you want to discover and take the time to find out.
Have a different activity or hobby to practice for a while during the day.
Go for a walk and stop to observe nature.
Practice meditation, relaxation and breathing exercises.
Treat yourself or a treat at least once a week.
Chat with your friends more often.
Go for a walk or to a place that entertains you.
Congratulate yourself on your achievements.
Help who you can with what you can and when you can.
With these simple changes you will see how your emotions and your actions begin to have a more stable and harmonious relationship in your daily life.