The 4 types of emotional attachment

By attachment is understood the affective, intense and lasting bond that develops between two individuals. These relationships are formed from birth, and they change throughout life depending on the environment and the people with whom we live.

The English psychoanalyst John Bowlby was the first to introduce attachment theory, but it was Mary Ainsworth who categorized the types of attachment in the childhood stage. She established four different categories, and understanding them is always very interesting, especially for those who have children.

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The 4 types of emotional attachment

From the moment of birth the baby is very perceptive to the mother figure. The mother's reactions, emotions and behaviors are very important, and it is with her that the first attachment relationship is established. Between 6 and 9 months, the baby establishes a bond with her despite being afraid of other people he does not know.

If the attachment is safe and healthy, the baby knows that he will have someone to protect him from a feeling of threat. This gives you the security and confidence to explore and build relationships outside of her safe circle. If the attachment is not secure, the baby will manifest other types of attitudes.

1. Secure attachment

When there is a secure attachment, the child feels confident and secure with his environment. This attachment is a construction that takes place from the first days of life. The affective bond will be formed in this first stage if the figure of care gives the child attention and care in the face of her claims. Over time and as the baby grows it becomes stronger.

In the first months of life, the baby's way of expressing that she needs something and asking for help is mostly by crying. For this reason it is important that parents learn to detect their needs and attend to them correctly.

Babies with this secure attachment feel confident and secure. The moment they perceive some kind of threat or problem to be solved, they ask for help. If her attachment figure heeds her call in any way, the attachment is sure to be getting stronger.

As a result, a child who maintained a secure attachment is confident in establishing relationships with others and shows great adaptability to new environments. By the same rule, an adult who has developed a secure attachment is capable of establishing stable, committed and trust-based relationships. At the same time, they are not afraid of being alone, nor are they afraid of abandonment.

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2. Ambivalent attachment

A child with ambivalent attachment is uncertain whether her caregivers will come or not if he needs them. Before the first calls for help that the baby presents, her attachment figure comes on some occasions but not on others. For the baby, he is absent without explanation, and does not observe her presence (calling him from afar, sending someone to attend him).

This occurs because although he has been treated on some occasions but not on others. This inconsistency causes him constant uncertainty as he does not know what to expect from his caregiver and attachment figure. As she begins to crawl and be able to get away from her, she does it very little and with great nervousness, without losing sight of her caregivers and without concentrating on her main activity.

For this reason, children with ambivalent attachment tend to show a constant complacent attitude towards their parents or caregivers. They seek approval at all times and do not tend to stray too far from them. When they do and return to them they can be suspicious and sometimes even angry about the separation.

An ambivalent attachment in childhood can lead to codependent attitudes in adult life. They present a constant fear of rejection and abandonment that leads to harmful behaviors to relate affectively. They are insecure and fearful of change.

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3. Avoidant attachment

In avoidant attachment, the child shows total indifference to his primary caregiver. This is because you did not receive care during your first stage. When not even the slightest relationship of affection has been carried out, no sensitivity is shown. The needs of the little one that are covered are the most physical and urgent.

If the parents have been indifferent to the baby or have even shown rejection attitudes, a relationship different from the previous ones begins to be built. In avoidant attachment, the child knows that her needs will not be met, and that even her emotions are annoying to her caregivers.

Because of this the child shows a false independence. In the absence of his attachment figure, she shows no anger or sadness or concern (although he may feel it). Upon his return, the child does not express joy at her arrival, nor does he express anger at her absence. However, the fear of being alone or with strangers exists despite not manifesting itself.

In their adult life these people are unable to show their emotions. They find it difficult to empathize, and at the same time fear abandonment and being alone. His emotional relationships are overshadowed by his insecurities and fears and by his lack of expressiveness and understanding.

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4. Disorganized attachment

Disorganized attachment is associated with abuse and family violence. In this type of attachment he has gone from avoidant to ambivalent attachment for long periods of time. Although there are times when the baby has been cared for and has been given expressions of affection, on the other hand most of the time it has been ignored or attacked.

When the baby acquires mobility, either by crawling or walking, she moves little away from her attachment figures due to insecurity and fear of not being helped if she requires it. At the same time, she may show rejection if you try to give her affection. Very strong outbursts of anger can begin at this stage or later.

Sometimes a child with disorganized attachment shows rejection of her parents. She seeks to avoid them, runs away from them and prefers not to be near them. However, there are times when she may feel homesick and want to be with them. Usually when this happens, the rejection reappears. All this accompanied by a bad or null management of emotions on the part of the child.

In adult life, a disorganized attachment makes it very difficult for people to relate emotionally. Outbursts of anger are frequent, without having any kind of emotional tool to handle them. Both in children and in adults, psychological therapy is generally required to heal the wounds and to be able to rebuild the bonds from a healthy base.

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Bibliographic references

• Wickens, A. (2004). Foundations of Biopsychology. 2nd. ed. Prentice Hall.