Emotional pain: what is it and how to manage it

Feeling pain is something that no one likes, being something unpleasant despite having an evolutionarily adaptive origin and function. Probably when we think of pain we do so in physical pain, injuries or illnesses.

But there is also another type of pain, which we have all felt at some point and that generates great suffering: the emotional pain that our experiences can cause us or the lack of these. It is about this last type of pain that we are going to talk about throughout this article.

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Emotional pain: what is it and what are its causes?

Although it is not something unknown to anyone, we call emotional pain to all that feeling of suffering or suffering generated at a psychic level without a physical reason for its appearance. The causes of emotional pain are purely mental, and generally refer to the experience of some type of aversive experience (thus being its origin generally environmental).

There is a practically unlimited number of situations that can generate this discomfort.

Some examples that usually generate this type of pain are love breaks and disappointments, the fights and serious conflicts with loved ones, the loss of capacities, the appearance of a serious, chronic or even terminal illness or the death of people we love.

As with physical pain, emotional pain is somewhat functional and adaptive: allows us to avoid painful situations or seek protection from events aversives. However it ceases to be so when it becomes a prolonged suffering over time or permanent or exceeds personal capacities and / or resources.

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It can generate physical alterations

Emotional pain is a type of suffering that is suffered at a psychic level, not appearing due to the presence of a medical disease (or at least not as a direct effect of the disease) or of some deteriorated tissue or organ or injured. However, the truth is that emotional and physical pain are linked, and the former can cause a physiological effect: we may come to somatize our emotional suffering.

Somatize is to express through the body the discomfort of suffering originated at a psychological level, Symptoms may appear in the form of pain experienced as physical in different parts of the Body. This pain does not have an organic cause, or if there is a real disease this is not the cause of the pain or it should not be as intense as the one experienced. Yes, the pain it's not unreal or fake if not that is actually perceived.

Some of the different discomfort that emotional pain can cause is the presence of back pain, vomiting and diarrhea, febrile episodes, headaches and dizziness. Gastric problems or sexual dysfunctions such as erectile dysfunction or loss of libido may also appear. In very extreme cases, it could even cause blockages in basic functions such as speech or movement, and even lose the sensitivity of some limb.

Manage emotional pain

The emotional pain and suffering it generates are, as we have said, adaptive at first. We must allow ourselves to feel it, and not avoid it or hide it, valuing it as something that can be very natural in response to a given situation. If someone who is dear to us dies or decides to end her relationship with us, it is logical and normal to have a high level of suffering, a sad mood and decreased energy levels and the desire to do things. However, the passage of time and the arrival of new experiences will contribute to gradually managing our pain and let's get ahead, getting over it.

It will be when we cannot manage it, it limits our life to a great extent or we are unable to adapt to the new situation in which some type of action will be necessary or resort to some type of help professional.

The first thing is acknowledge the existence of emotional pain, validate it and take into account that each painful experience involves a more or less prolonged process to overcome. It will also be necessary to identify the emotions that generate the suffering and the events that have caused them, if they are not already known.

After that, we must allow these to be expressed and flow, trying to learn to modify them or even introduce experiences that generate emotions incompatible with suffering. The search for alternatives and solutions to the reasons for suffering, or the experimentation of new experiences, they can be of great help to us in order to overcome the pain.

One aspect to take into account in case of somatization: although it is possible to work and even successfully treat the physical symptoms derivatives, a full recovery will not be possible unless the cause of the emotional pain is treated, as it will likely revert to reappear.