How to deal with your children's suspensions for the summer holidays

The arrival of summer holidays is usually a very satisfying event for children and adolescents. who see several weeks of a lot of free time before them and even the possibility of seeing the friends of the town.

However, at the same time it presents the opportunity for those with the worst studies to “get batteries ”and stop hating everything related to exams, homework, and textbooks. text. The two are perfectly compatible.

Therefore, in this article we will see different tips and strategies for, as parents, face the failures of our children in the face of summer vacations and the preparation of the new course.

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What to do on summer vacation when my son is suspended?

Each case is unique, of course, but there are several techniques and strategies that usually help to enhance, from home, the forms of parenting that will help our children to stop failing subjects and even to motivate themselves to study. Here you will find several of them.

1. Be interested in how they feel about their studies

The first case is not to throw the fight just right off the bat, but to try to know the main causes of those bad grades. And for it a climate of trust must be maintained, not opposition or conflict. Ask him about his way of experiencing studies in general or those subjects that are resistant to him in general, what he does not like about them, etc.

In addition, this way it will be easier for you to find out if there are other problems as serious or even more serious than poor grades that are interfering with their school performance. For example, it is very common for victims of bullying to perform worse in school because of anxiety and fear that feel about something as basic as being in class paying attention to the teacher (since this makes them vulnerable).

2. Reach an agreement

It is important to have a conversation in which you see that bad grades are not only a number, but they reflect the existence of a problem that can and must be overcome. For it you may need to help him let go of certain dysfunctional beliefs, such as that “many other children get bad grades and therefore it is normal” or that “not being a good student has no consequences in real life”.

You have to explain the importance of performing well in studies beyond exams, and the benefits that this has in the long term, but above all In the short term, in what you will notice immediately: stop feeling bad when studying, notice the admiration of others and be someone who is asked for advice, etc.

The objective is to ensure that you can reach an agreement on what their school performance should be for the next term. These goals should be somewhat ambitious, but also realistic, so that you do not stay in your comfort zone and yet do not see it as impossible either and end up quickly frustrated and throwing in the towel before making significant progress.

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3. Teach him study techniques that make it easier for him

If you teach him the basics of the most effective study techniques, it will be easier for him to stop dreading those sessions where you have to do your homework or “get down on your elbows,” because you will get better results by spending the same time or even less. In fact, these techniques can become so useful that in many cases they turn the act of studying no longer into a fun activity, but a stimulating and motivating challenge, a source of satisfaction and good self-esteem when seeing progress rapid.

In this sense, a technique that has proven to be very effective is spaced repetition. It consists of replacing the long study sessions with others that are much shorter but repeating the syllabus to be studied (or the type of exercises to be carried out) as a reminder. The first occurrences of these "repeats" occur with a relatively high frequency, for example, two or three days after having studied it for the first or second time, and as the days go by, those repeated appearances become more and more more.

For example, if one day it is time to study a certain section of the History book, the student will have to go over that part of the syllabus (and / or to challenge yourself with questions that might appear on the exam) on the third day, then the seventh day, then letting another seven days pass, etc. These moments of review or evocation of the subject previously studied should be combined with other minutes dedicated to studying a new part of the syllabus. In this way, the student creates connections between what he had already memorized and what he is learning for the first time, making the knowledge consolidated in her memory.

A study session following this technique can perfectly include 10 minutes of review or testing, and another 10 minutes of studying the new material. Although this involves studying almost every day, these sessions are so short and have such an ability to “hook” through the moments of putting themselves to the test that many young people who used to hate studying become fond of it.

4. Respect their free time

As much as they have gotten bad grades, it is very important that children and adolescents have free time to socialize, to play, etc. Punishing them with long periods without doing any fun activities is generally counterproductive, and not only fuels conflict at home, but which will also contribute to her associating the school in general with a source of harsh punishment, ruining any possibility of her actually getting involved with the studies.

As we have seen, spaced repetition allows young people to have a lot of free time, and since these study sessions are short, they do not prevent them go out with friends in meetings and other key moments: you just have to "move" punctually in the schedule when you start to review and practice with the temary.

What's more, in this way it is possible to combine study sessions with leisure, making the latter to be used as a “prize” for having done things well. At the end of the day, as the ideal is to study very frequently and not on time but for many hours in a row, it is easier for them to feel like not breaking with that dynamic of studying a little almost every day, and the fact of maintaining that "streak" makes them feel that they have earned those hours of fun, enjoying them more and not suffering stress or anxiety due to the procrastination.

Do you want to have psychological assistance and support in raising your child?

If you are interested in having professional advice to help your child in his / her studies, or You are directly interested in psychotherapy services for children and adolescents, get in touch with me.

As a psychologist with more than 20 years of professional experience, in my practice you can find both individualized psychotherapy as family therapy and support for parents with difficulties in the work of raising and educating the children of the home. You can go to my office located in Seville or ask me about the online sessions by video call.