How to give emotional support, in 6 steps

When it comes to going through particularly smelly moments in our lives, we often tend to forget that These negative emotions and feelings are experienced in a very different way if we have the support of the the rest. Sadness, helplessness or disappointment do not have to be suffered in isolation; if we live in society it is to receive help and to help others.

In fact, it is normal that when we see that someone is in a bad mood, we get the impulse to help them. But knowing how to give emotional support is not necessarily easy, and it is relatively easy to make mistakes.

• Related article: "What is Psychological First Aid?"

Tips for knowing how to give emotional support

In the following lines we will see several tips to know how to give emotional support from relatively simple steps. Applying them well takes some practice, but with time and effort, chances are you'll see significant improvements in the way you work. help the other cope better with their bad emotional situation.

1. Choose the right context

Choosing a correct time and place is a necessary and insufficient condition for knowing how to give emotional support.

The main thing is to be in a moment that is not transitional, that is, that it is not going to end soon (for example, going through an elevator), that it is not strongly linked to an important experience not related to what causes discomfort (for example, the completion of a presentation at a conference) Y that allows you to have a certain privacy.

The physical characteristics of the place are also something to take into account. Much better if it is a place with few distractions and where communication is easy: free of noise, sudden changes, etc.

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2. Let the other person give the information they want

It is important not to pressure the other to give us all the necessary information to know exactly how they are feeling. The simple fact of feeling that pressure is one more cause of stress that accentuates the discomfort.

In case you notice that she closes in band, it is enough to give her the opportunity to open up more by expressing directly that she can count on you for whatever it is, and that she notices that she is not going to be judged.

For the latter it is necessary to maintain a serious whole that expresses empathy, and not joking too much about the possible cause of the other's emotional pain. It is a mistake to imply that what makes you feel bad is actually silly, because from that perspective it is impossible to connect with the other.

3. Exercise active listening

When the person speaks it is important that you give signs that you are making an effort to understand what he is saying and the implications of what he is saying. Being honest about what makes us feel bad is already something that intimidates a lot of people, and if you also don't feel like you're doing a lot, the incentives to accept our support fade.

To do this, practice active listening and make this moment truly a personal interaction. symmetrical in which one person expresses himself and the other supports him and tries to understand how the other. Maintain eye contact, make comments without interrupting abruptly, recapitulate the information given by the other, etc.

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4. Validate your emotions

It clearly shows that you know that what you feel makes sense, although you obviously don't feel the same way. This is important, because otherwise it is taken for granted that there is a disconnect between you because you have not been through exactly the same thing. Do not ridicule their ideas or their feelings, on the contrary, show that you know they have a reason for being.

5. Talk about your perspective

This is something that is often obvious, but it is very useful. It is true that when it comes to giving emotional support what matters is what the person experiencing emotional distress feels, but it is also true that if you talk about what you believe, you are indicating that you are involved in your case and you try to establish parallels between what happens to you and what has ever happened to you you. In addition, this perspective can help you see your experiences from another point of view.

So when you've heard the main thing about her case, you can give her this brief feedback, but don't let her move on to a totally different topic: it should be something that goes into the act of supporting you by it happens.

6. Point out the possibility of a hug

It is possible to give rise to that, if the other person wants it, give each other a hug. But you do not have to ask directly or make a clear gesture that shows that you are going to hug, because if you do not want to, this can leave a bad taste in your mouth when you feel guilty if you refuse.

Usually the best thing is something more subtle: a few taps on the shoulder or on the back that give an excuse to get closer and that, if the other wants, can be turned into a hug. Let the other person take that step.